Everyone seems to disparage kitty parties. Women exchange recipes, child rearing tips and make new friends.
What is a kitty party? A few women may decide to form a kitty, and they ask their friends to join in until a group of around a dozen or so women is formed. They meet up once a month during the weekday, and each woman contributes a certain amount, say 3,000 rupees, into the 'kitty'. After lunch, lots are drawn, and one woman gets all the money. This woman's name is then removed from the lot the next time. Thus, every month a different woman gets the kitty until the round is complete.
Kitties are very organized, with a register noting down payment details, members contact numbers, and rules. Fines may be imposed for missing a few kitties in a row, making a late payment, reaching late and so on.
The person who gets the kitty will be the host for the next lunch, which essentially means that she will organize it and call up everyone to confirm a time and venue, which could be her home or a restaurant. Kitties held at home could cause an unhealthy competitive spirit as each hostess tries to outdo the other. This ultimately puts pressure on all members. In addition, with everyone busy these days, no one has the time or energy to plan lunch for a dozen or more people. Women now are increasingly opting for 'restaurant kitties', where they split the bill.
Kitties are much maligned as they are often associated with idle housewives who have nothing better to do but gossip. This is a prejudiced view as these days many working women too don't mind taking time off for lunch once a month, joining a kitty and meeting new people. There are also some advantages of being in a kitty.
Money
Once a year, you get a good chunk of cash in your hand, and you can spend it on something you have been planning to buy like jewellery or furniture. If you need money for some reason, members happily oblige and hand the kitty to you that month.
Educational
There is also a trend to have more educative kitty parties. 'At one kitty we had a rule that the hostess would have to organize a person to give a lecture on a topic. We had a doctor who showed us how to perform CPR, a gynaecologist who educated us on breast cancer, a company executive tell us about his line of work... We gained so much knowledge,' says Madhuri Desai.
Socializing
You and your husband may both be new to a city and have few friends. Joining a kitty is a great way to meet people. You just need to know one person to introduce you into the kitty, where you will meet a lot of other women who are there to make friends, just like you are. Expanding your social network thus gets a lot easier.
Family bonding
Often people have family kitties, which is a good way to get extended members of the family that don't meet up often, to spend an afternoon together. In family kitties, the women members attend with children so all cousins get to know each other.