The recent increase in the number of failed marriages in India has fired up a raging debate - is the increase in failed marriages due to the fact that there are more love marriages than arranged marriages? More young people today prefer to marry a person of their choice, and not a lot of parents are happy about this fact. Indian parents have traditionally chosen the partner by themselves, but this has definitely changed in recent times.
So let's evaluate the situation - are arranged marriages better than love marriages?
Marriages
Since ancient times, a marriage was always about the union of two families. The heads of the families would get together and call for a union of their children. The youngsters would meekly obey as challenging the choice of the senior members of the family was out of the question. This had two repercussions - one, that the couple had to adjust to each other and two, there would not be family problems as issues, if any, could be discussed between the families.
A love marriage is simply and purely the union of two people. And if conditions and situations permit, the families could get along as well. Love marriages are still an uncomfortable issue in orthodox families of India, though this is changing slowly. While some parents support their children, some parents cut all connections with their child because of his decision to marry someone of his own choice. This is because Indian families are very close-knit, and prefer to be very involved in the lives of their children, before and after marriage.
What Makes a Happy Marriage?
Recent times have seen the rise in the concept of individuality. People are doing exactly what they wish to. Though this is seen by some as selfishness, we must also see this as the right of a person to live his life exactly as he wants to. If one believes that his parents cannot find him a good wife and another believes that only his parents can find him the perfect wife, they are both wrong.
A marriage has nothing to do with how it is formed. Many couples who had arranged marriages have been able to find love just as people in a love marriage have been able to forge family ties. What one must understand is that a marriage is about two people. And taking into consideration how the importance of the individual has come to the forefront, it is important to choose the good points from arranged and love marriages and implement them.
What makes or breaks a marriage is what young people need to know today. A marriage is not just about having an ‘official' relationship; it is a mature decision by two people to take their relationship to the next level, after courtship. Earlier, partners in an arranged marriage used to discover each other's personality after marriage. People were a lot more patient then and quickly adapted and adjusted to the partner.
However, it is difficult to expect someone to be uncomfortable with someone and still remain married. The fact is, a couple needs to know each other inside out before getting into marriage, be it an arranged marriage or a love marriage. Therefore, the solution may not be choosing HOW you get married, but choosing WHOM you marry!
Are love marriages better than arranged marriages? What sort of marriage did you have? What do you feel about your decision?
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