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Parent Traps

What kind of a parent are you? A perfectionist or a rule maker?  A pusher or an exploder?  We present a two-part series of behavioural traps that parents fall into.  

Here are the first four samples. 

Have you ever thought about what kind of a parent are you? Are you just a demanding mom or a fussy dad? Can you be your child's best friend? Someone whom your child can grow to love, respect and trust more than anyone else in the world. Someone whom your child can come to with his or her worst fears, hopes, dreams and desires. Someone who is a good listener. Well, that constitutes an ideal parent.

But life is not always ideal, and most of us do fall into numerous behavioural traps time and again. Listed here are a few traps that most parents fall into, knowingly or unknowingly. The trick is to gauge them, understand them and learn how to avoid them. 


    A perfectionist is extremely demanding and can make the child feel very insecure. Such a parent sets unrealistic goals and expectations. The child can never therefore meet such goals, either in studies or other activities.  Such parents must realize that children will not be able to necessarily meet the specified standards.  A parent should be a pillar of strength, supporting and encouraging in any circumstance.

    A pleaser will do almost anything to make the child happy. Such a parent often wants to be loved more than the other parent. Outright appeasement spoils the child. Irrational love showered on the child allows the little one to manipulate the situation in his or her favor. Therefore, every parent must keep his or her self-respect intact before dealing with the child.

    A rule maker is a very controlling parent, also extremely rigid and judgmental. Such parents have a strong code of conduct for the entire household, with no room for mistakes and lapses. Too many dos and don'ts do not allow the child to grow in a wholesome and healthy atmosphere. Parents should live and let live. While basic discipline has to be inculcated, they should also let the children learn from their mistakes.

    This kind of a parent is ready to shout and fight for the smallest of reasons.  However, aggressiveness batters the child emotionally. Parents cannot be always screaming at the children. Allow the child to open up, talk and share thoughts freely. Do not bully at every instance. 

Parent Traps-part 2 - Click here to continue

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