Children and Divorce

[Gaurav Chedda]

My ex does not want me around our children, she has remarried and excludes me from family gatherings, birthdays and holidays.

I do not want to fight as the court gave her custody and I only have visitation rights. My children are 12 and 15, they come to my house so they can eat out and play video games.

I would like to have a greater role in my childrens life but I don't know how

[Abhishek Bhartiya]

The important thing is not to lose hope. Talk to your ex wife and her husband. If that doesn't work, consult a lawyer and apply for joint custody

[Neerav Joshi]

Seeing a lawyer is a drastic step, you should discuss this with your ex and her husband, explain your problems. Your children must learn to accept the three of you as parental figures

[Sumit Chavhan]

This can't be easy for your kids. The divorce and the subsequent problems will take their toll on anyone. I'm sure you want to be involved but it is very important for your children to have some stability. Maybe staying away from them for a bit would help them adjust to their new life.

[Sonia Roy]

This is terrible, you should fight in the courts and get custody of your children.

Children need both parents in their life, your wife's husband cannot supplant you. But you should bear in mind the effect all this fighting will have on your children.

[Palak Dalvi]

great advice.. dont let the fight become acrimonious as that will affect your children. Fight fair and be fair.. It should work..

[Lucky Me]

Sorry to ask u... What were u doing when the matter was held up in the courts... This is when the brain stops working and u tend to take decisions in a haste !!

Not pointing u buddy.. but i am totally against this... If u have wanted ur children u should have let them known that u were there for them. Just because ur missing them doesn't seems logic to me. ur children not just missed u they NEEDED u the most when u were not available ti them. now that someone else is available u want them ? What an irony in life....Phew.... !!

Sorry if i hurt ur feelings buddy ... this was not for u exactly...i'm going through shit... and i know what it is to miss and need somebody...i know that some day my so called husband will realize that he too needs and miss and by then it would have been toooo late !!

[Dexter Superhydro]

Hello Gaurav,

I am in same situation as you. But in my case, I am only concerned with being there when my child wants to meet or visit me. So be there with the child when he/she wants is how I manage.

Pleading his mom to meet the child when I wanted to has been counterproductive. The longest periods of having no contact with my kiddo, were when I was desperate to meet my child. I do not get proper visitations even when my child insists on meeting me. But then my child knows when he can get permissions from his mom, and waiting for his/her to call works very well for me and my kid (that's our secret now).

Well, I am not trying to discourage you from wanting to do more for your kids. I am just sharing what has worked for me and what has not. In short waiting for the child to contact me to spend time together has worked better than anything else.

In any case I make sure to give a call and ask for bringing him home on every long weekend, or vacation. If my kiddo's mom says, that "we are not in town", "exams are going on", "he/she does not want to talk or meet". I say OK! And repeat call on the next long weekend or vacation.

Take care man.
Cheers!

Superhydro

[jenellwilson]

My ex does not want me around our children, she has remarried and excludes me from family gatherings, birthdays and holidays.

I do not want to fight as the court gave her custody and I only have visitation rights. My children are 12 and 15, they come to my house so they can eat out and play video games.

I would like to have a greater role in my childrens life but I don't know how

I really sympathize with you. But you need to keep fighting for the children, otherwise they may forget you. When my husband and I first found Utah free printable divorce forms, we made an arrangement for him to make visiting our children and that my new relationship would not affect our agreement in any way. Try talking to your ex-wife. If she disagrees with your time with the children, go to court.