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Thread: i cannot travel with my husband because i have to take care of his family

  1. #1
    Sonia Roy's Avatar Member
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    Arrow i cannot travel with my husband because i have to take care of his family

    i live in a joint family including my father-in-law, mother-in-law, elder brother-in-law and his wife and my husband and our two kids. my husband's parents are very old and even my brother-in-law and his wife are pretty old. So taking care of the whole house is my responsibility.

    problem is that my husband travels a lot for business. he spends his whole week in our holiday house in jaipur as he does business there. he comes to our home only on the weekends. I miss my husband a lot and he misses me too. he keeps telling me to just come with him to jaipur sometimes but whenever i go with him, my brother-in-law's wife keeps complaining that she has to do so much work in taking care of my kids and parents.

    my kids are grown up and all she has to do is keep the meals ready and we have 3 servants still she complains so much. so i dont go because i dont want there to be fights in the family. but sometimes i like to go with my husband also. I cant fight her as she is 13 years elder to me and i respect her. can someone suggest how to deal with this problem? thanks.

  2. #2
    This is a common problem in joint families. Why do not you speak to her in front of your in-laws so that everything becomes clear. you can be with your husband during vacation and this way you and your kids will have a family time. There will be no fights as to taking care of your kids.

  3. #3
    you should give her your piece of mind. As you are living in a joint family, you should be living in harmony and helping each other. you must explain to her that you will be there for her when there is a need. its all in the family.

  4. #4
    Fatima Shreen's Avatar Member
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    There should be mutual understanding between the family members. you seem to be lacking this. why is your sil behaving like this? have you done something in the past that is the reason behind her behaviour. If yes then ask for forgiveness and everything will be normal again.

  5. #5
    Hi Sonia,

    I believe that you should get more time to spend with your husband, no matter where ever he stays. As you have adjusted up till now for the family i.e. ur BIL's wife's comfort. I believe its her turn now to adjust now for ur comfort.
    Try to talk to her about the same. If she understands then well and good, if she dosent then all the pains u are taking for her convinience is not WORTH it...
    Adjustments are to be done by both sides, not just one !!!

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