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Thread: Problem in new marriage

  1. #1

    Problem in new marriage

    Hi friends, I got married on Jan 2013. Everything was fine between my wife and mother except she used to fought with me on very small issues. She had once even left house with her parents on very very small issue. But she again come back. Now suddenly she took a fight with my mother and says either we will leave separate from parents or will divorce....Her parents are supporting her extreme decision and they are not ready to sit and discuss the solution...I have very clearly told her that I can not leave the parents as I am their only son, they are of old age and they have raised me with very hardships....( my parents are illiterate and still they manage to provide me and my two sisters best education by doing daily wage job). Her parents and she are not even willing to go to professional marriage counselors as I believe they can give us some solution after hearing our side....please advice what should be best thing to do in such situation and also advice me if I am being wrong somewhere ...( for last one month she is staying with her parents and taken her all clothes with her)

  2. #2
    Hi,
    You are in a sticky situation where it is difficult to take sides. You are absolutely right in being there with your parents. Your wife has somehow overreacted. You have to find the balance. Try to find out the reason behind this problem that who was wrong; your wife or your mother. Then try to salvage the situation by being fair. If your wife was wrong, then you have to make her understand. Even then if she is not willing, then you have to tell her that you will agree to her demands only if she gives a last try. Your parents are your responsibility and you cannot leave them in their old age so you have to handle the situation with patience. I hope everything works out fine.

  3. #3
    I think that you both strongly need an advice of a professional counselor. There are many issues to be dealt. You want to stay with parents, that is perfectly the right decision but you need to find out the reason for discord. Your wife's decision to move out may be because of behaviour of your parents. Just find this out. You can take the help of a common mediator as your wife is not willing to listen to you. Best of Luck.

  4. #4
    Amish i have been in your situation but i had the courage to lay down the ground rules for my wife. Something are up for discussion and changes but there are somethings that ive asked her not to interfere in and i make sure i do the same for her. For example She cannot ask me to behave with my parents in a certain way or leave them n move into a new house. On the other hand i do not interfere in her and her parents.

    Yes parents with single daughters have the right to be cared by their daughter how your parents are cared by you... so asking her to not do that is injustice. Instead ask her to balance it out and be fair to both and for your side of duty for her make sure you make your parents understand her situation and allow her to do what is her right as the only child.

    No matter what the situation only a proper balance from both sides give you a health marriage. I m no expert but just a lay man with good n bad experience putting his point of view forward.

  5. #5
    I feel that your wide is acting irresponsibly. I agree there may be issues with in laws for her but she has to find a way out. Running away from responsibilities is not the right way. Taking care of parents in the old age is the right of every child and you are doing just that. you need to explain to her and try to solve out the differences. You need to find out why your wife is behaving like this and try to reason out with her about your point of view. You also need to know if your parents are at any fault in this matter. You need to act as a bridge to fill the gap so that everything becomes normal. A minor issue cannot be the reason for her to move out

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