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Thread: My husband always sides with my in-laws

  1. #1
    Sonia Roy's Avatar Member
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    Angry My husband always sides with my in-laws

    My in-laws are always finding fault with me. For every small thing, from the way I dress to the my cooking - they keep criticizing me. they even complain about me to our neighbours and family people.

    I do everything they say, I dress like they say, I cook with the exact same recipe that my mother-in-law used, but still they just love complaining about me.

    Telling my husband is useless as he always takes his parents' side and tells me that i am over-reacting and that it must have been my fault. I am feeling very stressed and am holding my patience and silence but it is getting more and more difficult to listen to all this without snapping back. I dont want to create fights and tensions. Can someone suggest how can i make my unhappiness come across to my husband in a way that he will not blame me and talk to my in-laws to lay off me?

  2. #2
    Hetal Kapoor's Avatar Member
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    hi Sonia dont take stress. it will harm u. dont tell ur husband about this. handle this situation in ur own way. ur husband is their son. he cant listen to u.

  3. #3
    Hi Kiran....i understand your situation because I too faced a similar situation.However, I handled it in my way just as Radha said....
    U have to think and apply logic to handle such weird situations.First of all,be brave and sit down to talk to them stating that you are a part of that family and you are trying hard to please them but some adjustments should also be there from their end else things might go to a wrong direction.Tell them frankly whatever you feel...and sort out

  4. #4
    Hi, I can totally understand what you are trying to say and husbands usually do take their families side more than their wife’s. Once you are married to your partner it has become a tradition that you have to love his family even if they are rude and fake with you. A simple reason that you marry your partner because you love him but, it is not easy to love all who come along with him. The in-laws have been a trouble for the women for over centuries now and it still continues to be the same even in the 21st century.

  5. #5
    Sneha Rathod's Avatar Member
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    There are majority of women in India who are treated poorly by their in-laws. This should not be happening, if you cannot take a stand for yourself you can never be independent and confident. Not taking a stand for yourself can also set a bad example in front of your children. It is important that you recruit your partner. It is his family and he needs to be on your side as you are leaving yours and joining his. Everything you confront should be between you, your partner and his family. You should be very clear about what you feel.

  6. #6
    I have been through these troubled relationships of my in-laws and my husband used to side them without even listening me. Then I started avoiding them and limited my exposure to them how much ever possible. I made sure that my mother-in-law realises that I am happy to see her once in a while not every day and especially unannounced. You should not be too frank just try to convey it indirectly. Sometimes they come on time purposely when you have plans with your partner and spoil your plans on purpose.

  7. #7
    It is important that you confront each and every thing to you partner and explain it properly. You should be very honest with your partner and if you are genuine I am sure he will listen to you and try to take your side when he understands your side. He is always stuck between being the good son and a good husband but its high time he sees the reality if his family is wrong he should say it directly and take your side. Being a mumma’s boy every time won’t help. He should be strong enough to make decisions and not be blind in love of family.

  8. #8
    I have seen many joint families turning into nuclear families due to this reason that the in-laws cannot cope up with their son’s wife. This is a reason children move out of their houses and live separately with their children and wife. Once in a week they visit his place so that they can meet up and also spend some time with their grandchildren. This keeps them happy, husband and wife also happy. A proper managed schedule is convenient for everyone. Usually this policy is followed quite popularly and families have been happy at peace.

  9. #9
    Hello all, according to me loving your son is not a wrong thing and the son loving his mom is also not wrong. The difference is that after you get married there are responsibilities of wife and children. There are some women who tend to drift apart the son and mother on purpose which is not good. When mothers feel ignored they are hurt and they feel that they are neglected by their own children. No all in-laws are like what you are saying, maybe I am lucky enough to have a wonderful set of in-laws who are so loving and caring to me. I feel blessed.

  10. #10
    Hi, if you are so troubled with your in-laws one day when you and your partner are alone talk about it. I had this same problem my husband used to side my in-laws every time and this thing hurt me a lot. Later on I started ignoring how my in-laws treated me and just believed in myself. Slowly and gradually my husband felt some behaviour changes in me so one day he asked me that day I told him every bit of thing what I was going through and I was very honest about everything and he understood it.

  11. #11
    Sometimes husbands are more interested in being the good son rather than being a good husband. It is important to respect our parents and listen to them as they are elder but, after marriage it is important to start a family and change priorities and loyalty, that doesn’t mean to forget parents completely. After marriage it is important to start your own family. But mostly now-a-days people have changed, their thinking has changed, they are also developing according to the generation and have become more open-minded. Today families have a healthy relationship and are blessed with happiness.

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