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Thread: Cant continue or forget

  1. #1
    Mariam Dsouza's Avatar Member
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    Oct 2013
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    Unhappy Cant continue or forget


    Its a lengthy story, have patience and don't scold me but try to understand and advice me

    I had love marriage against my parents wishes, he is Hindu and I am Christian, when I was 20 years old , as my family was well educated and financially sound so they were against it, my husband is not educated that much at that time I felt he is prince charming and loved him to the core and married him, after one year had my first daughter, and in-laws are not educated and very strict, but somehow I got adjusted and I got job as software engineer in a MNC, and I start earning, my income is 4 or 5 times more than my husband, I loved him so much.... I compromised and adjusted with him, due to recession from 2009 to 2011 I went to Bangalore to work, every weekend I used to travel back to Hyderabad and in between I used to take leaves during that time my husband had affair with a widow, and i came in may 2011 and became pregnant and i did not had physical relation with him as I was not feeling well, after 6 months i came and stayed with my parents home though he used to visit me everyday he continued his affair with her, he was addicted to her , he used to spend my money, use my car, 24/7 n phone, used to sleep with her everything he used to do, then on march 10th 2012, my daughter was born and on April 4th i went to my husband's place there he physically and mentally abused me and continued his affair and on June 2012 i came back to my mom's place and there was so much hala , finally he broke up with her and he started begging to come home.... till now he is requesting , but i don't want to go to his place i want to take rented place away and stay but he is not agreeing, mean while four months back i met my ex colleague and we became very close and i started loving him and he too but he is married and his wife came to know about us like we are friends and i broke up with him, but i cant forget him, its a torture for me as he is the only one who understood and cared for me, i only talked with him on the phone.... don't know but i am unable to stay without talking to him.... what i have to do

  2. #2
    Stop being like this!

    Your husband is a useless, spineless loser. Please just dump him and move on with your life. Dont look back upon him at all!
    As far as your colleague is concerned, shame on you! Your husband's affair traumatized you so much, and you went ahead and did the same thing with another poor woman by sleeping with her husband..

    Leave him as well and change your job. Start your life anew. Look for a new "suitable" Life partner instead. not a married man.

    All the best and I hope you are able to take what I said in a positive light and turn your life around for the better.

  3. #3
    I agree with Samay a 100%.

    your life has become a complete mess and it is up to you to clean up your mess. Leave your useless husband and threaten him with legal consequences if he tries to create a ruckus any more. You are earning much more than him right? Warn him that because you have more money, you have access to a better lawyer and so you will make his life hell if he doesnt agree to your terms and conditions.

    As far as your colleague is concerned. You cannot do without him.. But has he shown you that he feels the same way? If yes, then he should be willing to divorce his wife for you. If not, then you are in the same boat as that widow your husband had an affair with. Forget him then. You will find someone who is caring and who understands you..but you need to stop looking in the wrong places. Married men are normally just looking for casual hook ups. If you truly want an honest relationship, think about getting married again. ask your parents to help you, ask your friends to introduce you to some people.. but look for someone who is at your level both professionally and mentally.

    What do you think?

  4. #4
    Siya Gandhi's Avatar Member
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    Oct 2013
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    Your life has become so very complicated. It happens sometimes. There is no point in getting depressed and confused. It is very difficult to solve this problem without professional help. Meet a psychologist and discuss your problems in details. In due course, you yourself will be able to come to sensible and practical solutions. Do not delay. Seek professional help immediately. I wish you peace and happiness!

  5. #5
    Hi! Has there been any change in your situation? Did any of our suggestions help you better your life? We would love to know!

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