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Thread: How much sex do newly married couples have? Could hubby be gay/bisexual/asexual?

  1. #1

    How much sex do newly married couples have? Could hubby be gay/bisexual/asexual?


    I got married almost a year back, and due to many factors, now I am on the point of divorce.

    It was an arranged marriage, I was 26, husband was 30. We had spoken a few times on the phone & Skype, neither of us had any relationships prior to marriage.He lived and worked in Singapore, where his parents had bought him a condo(his dad paid the down payment, he paid the emi's).

    After marriage he would only have sex during the weekends, even during the very early months. He would come back pretty early from office, around 6.45 to 7.30 but still prefer to go to sleep on the couch watching tv, he claimed this is what he'd done in his bachelor days. He would watch MTV, BIg Boss etc, ask me to watch tv with him, but there wasn't too much sex at all.

    His parents came to stay with us during our first three weeks in Singapore to settle me in, in those days, although we had a bedroom with complete privacy, he'd practically never have sex while his parents were there.

    He claimed that all his friends also had sex during the weekends, but his friends were consultants who travelled during the weekdays plus they had been married some 4 years.

    Is this much lack of sexual desire normal?

    Right after marriage my husband told me that it was very essential I find some proper job in Singapore as he wants to do a full time MBA & would try for INSEAD Singapore or American B Schools & be off to USA for two years & he wanted to come back to Singapore & job hunt on my Dependent Pass. I was shocked to hear this, as before marriage, husband & family had given us the impression that they're very against long distance relationships & also cancelled a girl's alliance who wanted a long distance relationship for just a year for job reasons.
    He tried for INSEAD for the September 2014 batch & was rejected, he's now reapplying to INSEAD for the January 2015 batch & wants to apply to other US B Schools as well.
    My husband is very particular about his appearance, he has a lot of products like different face & body washes, perfumes etc (one of his friends' wives used to tease him that he has more products than he does), he's got a hair weaving done in Singapore as he was balding, he checks out his hair in the mirror all the time. I've sometimes felt by some of his mannerisms & his smile that its a bit unmanly but then he's very narrow shouldered & lanky panky so I can't be sure.
    He is also facing career stagnation & no pay rise for two years in Singapore-his friends in Singapore make 2.5 times what he does(they also work much harder btw), he's obsessed with living in Singapore, his application for PR has been rejected thrice-could his lack of interest in sex & writing MBA applications etc be due to stress & peer pressure or due to gay/bi/asexual tendencies?
    Btw, I'm considered very beautiful by most people, my husband also said that he married me because he considers me so pretty & to the best of my knowledge, he doesn't have any past relationships(neither do I btw).

  2. #2
    It could also be that it is as simple as a low sex drive. Take him to a doctor, who will give medications to better this. is he an active person otherwise? If not, encourage him to take up walking or gymming. Maybe you could go with him..

    Today, a lot of men are obsessed with their looks. This method of judging homosexuality only works in books and movies, not in real life.

    Why do you want a divorce? Because of his job stagnation, or because of the lack of intimacy? he is trying to get an MBA.. maybe you could stick it out with him a little longer. consult a doctor or do ayurvedic or homeopathic medication for the low sex drive.

    and while the idea of staying apart for 2 years right after being married is umimaginable, you yourself said that he is facing a career stagnation. That is where the MBA comes in. Ask him to apply for an MBA closer to Singapore only if possible na.. A little shorter distance between the two could mean that you wouldnt be forced to spnd as much time apart as if he goes off to USA..

  3. #3
    Siya Gandhi's Avatar Member
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    Oct 2013
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    Hi Palak,

    Try to wear an appealing dress and expose front and back by wearing sarees below navel infront of him and try to pull him on bed . start yourself first to come him on bed. after all done this..even if he dont come on bed..might be he is not interested in sex.

  4. #4
    Hi Palak,
    I agree with Siya. .do this. .

  5. #5
    HI Palak,

    I am also agree with Siya. If your husband is not coming on bed then might he is not interested in you.

  6. #6
    siya is right,try this

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