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Thread: Peer Relationship woes

  1. #1

    Peer Relationship woes

    My 5 year old boy is having problems with Peer Relationships. He is a cheerful child, likes to make friends, is liked by his teachers and is very well socially accepted. However, everywhere he goes to like school or activity classes he gets hooked to one friend and gets very possessive about that one friend. For e.g in his dance classes he always wants to be with a friend Arjun and if Arjun does not stand along side him he gets upset.
    Another example is in his school bus if his friend Riyan does not sit with him he starts crying or looking for ways to woo Riyan to sit with him like offering chocolates.
    I feel this is not a healthy way of having/building relationships. Please advice

  2. #2
    Dhwani Singh's Avatar Member
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    Your kid is too small to understand the real value of relationships. At this age, it is normal for him to be possessive but you must teach hi the right values. You must explain him the importance of making friends and sharing. You can explain him that more friends he has, more fun he would be having. Instead of being with one friend, he should be with other friends also as then he would be able to play many games and enjoy more.

  3. #3
    Attachment is part of growing up. When kids are small, they get easily attached to people and things. This is because they feel safe and secure with those people or things. This also gives them the feeling of being loved. If your son is too possessive of just one friend, you need to let him go but try to make him understand the value of friendship. you need to keep on explaining him with examples or stories. He will be better able to understand with stories or examples. Encourage him to make more friends by helping him see the good in others. He will sure be able to understand the need of making more friends.

  4. #4
    Hi, what you are saying about your son is absolutely normal behaviour in the kids. When children choose their peers they tend to get attached with them quite easily. They spend most of their time with them during school hours or classes and attachment is a part of growing. They easily get attached to people and small things easily. They start feeling secure and safe when they are around and also feel loved, your son might be feeling the same way and I don’t think there is anything to worry about it. Just try to take it positively.

  5. #5
    Hi, I had the same problem when my daughter was studying in the 3rd grade, she was over possessive about one of her friend and always wanted to be around her and be with her. They were very good friends, shared their seats, tiffins, shared same interests and many more things. I let her go and made her understand the value of friendship along with some examples and stories. She gradually started understanding things and friendship and I also encouraged her to make more new friends and making him see the good in all. I am sure your son will be able to do the same.

  6. #6
    Siya Gandhi's Avatar Member
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    Hello I think you are overthinking about this topic. Your son is really very small to understand the value of friendship and relationship. This is very normal what he is behaving right now and almost every child behaves like this at a certain point. During this age it is quite obvious to be possessive about a certain friend or friends as your child spends majority of the time with him or her. You try to teach him the right values and try to explain him the importance of friendship with some stories. He will understand slowly and gradually.

  7. #7
    According to me there is no need of being worried over here, this is a common thing faced by every parent during their parenthood. It is okay for him to have a specific friend which he wants to be with every time. You don’t have to stop him from doing so, just make him understand that if he has more friends than he can have more fun and instead of being with one friend he should be with all. He can play many different games if he has more friends and also enjoy more. Do not go the hard way as their innocent mind can be devastated.

  8. #8
    Shweta Kale's Avatar Member
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    Hey all, there are at times when children get pulled into peer pressure and they feel like they should be liked by all and especially those peers who he admires the most. Sometimes kids also do things to please other friends and do not want to felt left out and even don’t want to get embarrassed and made fun of, so they do things similar to their friends. Basically they just want to fit in the group and be a part of it. Some children copy their peers to try some new things which friends do and it is the common thing of getting influenced by what others do and even adults do it, so we cannot blame the children.

  9. #9
    Sonia Roy's Avatar Member
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    Hi, I know you are worried about your son and even scared about the fact that why is he only possessive about one friend. There are several kids who feel compatible with a certain person due to similar likings, interests, experiences and in case of children we can say there are several things which they might find in common. They are at a tender age where they do not understand the meaning of friendship also. They get attracted to the person whom they like and can share all the experiences basically same likings so they want to be with them always. In future such friends turn out to be best friends as well.

  10. #10
    Fatima Shreen's Avatar Member
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    Hi, what you are going through with your son is a common and obvious thing seen in children when they are small. It can be tough when you try to take them away from their peers and it might also disturb them. You should handle such cases delicately and actually according to me there is no harm in letting them be friends with a particular friend. They like a particular friend and are comfortable and compatible with them hence they choose them as friend ignoring others. You can help them by telling what is right and wrong and also help them to do the right thing.

  11. #11
    Ishika Seth's Avatar Member
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    I feel choosing one friend over others is simply not a big deal and can be seen in many children. The fact that children like talking and sharing to a person who has same interest and hence they get attached to them and even face peer pressure under the name of being friends. Usually at this age they do not know much and tend to get attached and emotional and possessive over a friend. You can also teach them to make friendship with others and also help them to socialise more and be compatible to all.

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