Extra Marital Affair

My son is 13 years old. My wife and I began hanging out with his best friend's parents very often. We even went for a few holidays as families together. His friend's mother and I fell in love. We both know it is wrong but we are both unhappy in our marriages. We both act like we barely speak to each other but we both talk 24/7. My wife doesn't have a hint that I am cheating on her but I am racked with guilt. I want to the right thing for my son but I also want to do the right thing for me. His friend's mom is a wonderful soft-hearted woman and I know that she will never stop me from having a relationship with my son. She wants to divorce her husband and marry me. I also want to divorce my wife. But we are both worried about the backlash from our communities. When we people come to know that we were having an affair, it will affect us both badly. Our spouses will hate us. And god knows what our children will think of us. How do I sort this all out? What should I do?

Both of you are at a stage of life where unless some seriously wrong happens, you should not think of divorce. This will not impact the life of both of you but many lives and will have far reaching impact.

Instead, I personally (my view) think sharing thoughts and even enjoying sexually is alright but divorce NO......

it is very sad to hear that you want give up family relation and give priority to craving desire. do not damage the family system.

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Originally Posted by Malti Shanker

Both of you are at a stage of life where unless some seriously wrong happens, you should not think of divorce. This will not impact the life of both of you but many lives and will have far reaching impact.

Instead, I personally (my view) think sharing thoughts and even enjoying sexually is alright but divorce NO......

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What Nonsense! Its okay to have an affair but not take a divorce. That is wrong on soo many levels! My dear person - do not give such disgusting advice to Ananth please.

Ananth,

I agree with Yssubramanyam that you should try not to damage the family system. But sometimes, if you are sure that you are unhappy and you are sure that you will happy after you do break it off, then you should contemplate it..

Let me ask you this - you say you and your wife, your girlfriend and her husband are all unhappy.. Why? what is the reason for this unhappiness? Tell us that, then we will be able to help you better.

Dhwani. You are looking to divorce your wife and marry a new one. First of all even if you want to marry a new woman , never marry a divorcee or a widow because it is very difficult for women to fall in love twice.She will only marry you as a compromise because her first love turned out to be bad. The difference between first love and second love is that in first love you want to give love but in second love you only want to receive it. The best thing would be to patch things up with your wife.Some general tips . give her at least 30minutes time everyday only you 2 alone. secondly after ejaculating with her don't just walk away continue love making for about 15 minutes even if it is just kisses. Women don't like to be left alone. Try to make her realize that u love her even when she is not looking beautiful. Please reply if you find these tips useful.

Dear Dhwani, you are taking a wrong decision. Discuss you problems with your wife, more you communicate with your wife better it goes. you also have a son, infact you should think how can i make a better person to my son instead of an affair- if you don't continue the affair its good, keep affair outside home, don't bring it inside house.

Dear Dhwani,
Every one has his or her own views and has a right to express as you have right to agree on not. What friend has suggested is his view, you may not agree to the same. But you should not be directing him not to give advice. Who knows Ananth might like and prefer his advise the most.
I think we should be polite to other members in our messages.

Yes, I too feel that we must respect everyone views. I also feel that one should not go for divorce because of physical cravings. I can understand that you must be sexually unsatisfied but plz don't be selfish my friend. Think about your family and her's family future. Given a chance I too will establish sexual relations with any good looking lady in the neighbourhood but divorce a big 'NO' my friend.

Dhwani, U should do wat u feel right to do.....Being happy is your right, sacrificing doesnt work in todays world.....If u r happy, then u can sort out the things in much better way.....It always better to face the storm now for peace afterwards rather than faking peace and having storm inside you........Ppl and communities have millions of topic to gosip about so don worry abt them.........so if u r gonna b happy, just go n do it......as it might make ur respective spouses also happy........Coz i assume if u arent thappy wid them, then they must b equally unhappy with you......Ultimately, decide wat ur heart says.......n Just Do It....

family values are far important than extra martial relationships., don't be selfish. if ur wife come to know about this, the guilt will kill u and u will feel shame facing her too.