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Yes, I am a divorcee! And I am not ashamed of it. Why should I be? It was not me who was wrong.
Belonging to a middle class family, educated to take care of myself and independent. This was me. I was 24 years of age, when I got married to Subhash. His parents told us that Subhash drinks occasionally. I was fine with it. My father drinks too at events, parties or get together. However, he has always been the most sober man I knew. If it was not for my granny, I always believed that the two of them had love marriage. I had never heard either speak rudely. It did not mean they did not quarrel. They did. But, they never stopped talking to each other. When my father was late from some party, my mumma would wait for him. And he the gentleman would always abide by the time limit. Hence, it is evident that I expected the same from my life.
Expectation, indeed this could be my fault in the relation. It attributes the expectation I hold towards my marriage, which made me suffer till date. This is the period almost, 13-14 years back. So, I did not have a lot of chances to know him. However, we did talk once or twice before marriage. I got married within a month. Needless to say, the first few months were beautiful. Subhash loved me. I got pregnant. I gave birth to a lovely daughter, Saloni.
And, then I witnessed a change in his behavior. It will be better to say that the curtain of goodliness draped on him was thrashing. He started coming home late. He was drunk. He used to use foul language. He forced him on me.
I cried. I screamed. I fought. I talked to him. I tried my level best to make this marriage work. I had heard the ill impact of a broken marriage on child. Hence, the educated, independent and smart me, continued to be a victim. And then one day, everything changed. He was way badly drunk that day. He came home. It was the onset of summer holidays. Hence, my 5 year old daughter was up at night. He came. He slapped me. It was so unfair. For the first time, my daughter had seen something like this. She wept all night. At morning she had high fever.
She woke up. She displaced the groom from her doll house. She hated him. That was it. I had made my decision.
I called up the police. I talked to my lawyer friend. I ensured that I got a divorce. It was not easy. But, for my darling daughter this was right. And I know I am right, because Subhash tried to prove all sorts of disgusting allegation on me. I pity him.
So, for all you ladies out there, it is absolutely important in any relationship to stay as a couple. It is good to ensure that your child gets the love of both the parents. But, whatsoever is the case do not let any ill example fabricate in front of your child. It will be better for her or his future.
There are some tips which can actually help you in dealing with the similar situation:-
- 1. Educate your child about the bad behavior of your spouse.
- 2. Make sure to spend a lot of quality time with her.
- 3. If necessary, talk to her teacher at school about the same. Teachers are good moral boosters.
- 4. Do not suffer.
You were not brought into this world to suffer. You are strong. Do not forget that!
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