Dear ALL

I am into my 30th week and putting up in blore.Except for my hubby, i donot have any other support system here in blore. Hence both of us had thought it proper to have my first baby at my mom's place in Delhi as i would be able to get all the support and care that is needed at this phase. We had planned that i would leave for Delhi by mid august (32 weeks). The problem i am facing now is that i am feeling so very guilty....so very bad that i would be going away and my hubby would be managing on his own here. I would have company there but he would be getting bored here. Moreover, i feel that i need him so much now that it would be difficult for me also to be without him. To be very frank i feel that i am going to deprive him of something he is as much a part of as i am. On the other hand i know that it would be difficult for me to cope up almost single handedly once the baby is there. To make things worse my hubby isn't getting any paternity leave and my family in Delhi (all being working) won't be able to come for any long frame of time. What do i do? Emotionally its too much for me to handle. My heart says something and my brain says something. What do i do?? (I plan to go by 20th aug....he would come to see me end sept....then again in mid october when the baby arrives). Also i plan the stay at my mom's place not to be longer than 40 days after the baby arrives. But then man proposes God disposes.

I know this is all my decision. But was just curious to know how others who are planning their deliveries at their mom's place feeling about it. would love to hear from all of you....might clean up my mind.

luv and luck
chetana Prajakta replied. hi chetana,

i agree with all others. you should go to your mom's place. and don't feel guilty about it. your hubby will surely understand.

to recount from my own experience, i was advised 3 weeks complete bed rest in week 26. so i had to go to my mom's place and my hubby had to fend for himself inspite of staying in the same city!!!

it was a difficult decision to take.. as he was very busy with some assigments and needed me at home. but finally, we both realised that baby is of supreme importance and the first priority.

we worked out a win-win solution with hiring extra help at home (thankfully in india, its possible and inexpensive too) and hubby spending time with me at mom's place whenever he could.

this is just a passing phase and you will never regret this decision.

lotsa love to you and baby,
prajakta. shraddha replied. Hi Chetana,
Till I read your post I felt I was the only one going thru this turmoil and transition. Me too all alone in Gurgaon and as if this was not enough, we have shifted houses within Gurgaon and so no maid for cooking either and I am a working woman. I am just about doing everything on my own and God knows how desperate I am to get home to my mom in Poona.
Initially even I thought that this is the time when I wud most want my husband around, but believe me no one and absolutely no one can take care of your diet which, as you realize, is getting the most critical thing, better than your own mom! Just Go and believe me you will feel much much better once you take the decision. I always told myself that my husband did do perfectly fine with his life even before me so am sure he will do even now and it made sense to let him focus on work without having to worry about me, my diet and getting back home in time etc. After a point even they get very flustered on how to deal with things of this nature.
I intend to stay on at my moms place for the entire term of my maternity leave, only hitch being since I have to travel to Poona I will be losing about a month which most other women do not cause they work till the very end and get more time with the child.
In all I have learnt one thing thru my pregnancy and I want to share it with you…believe me things cud be worse, which is not, so we should just let ourselves up as priority and get on with life. As it is all our lives we priorities others and other things…..for instance, I could have urged my husband to shift houses after I left, but I thought I will make him set in the house and then leave in the bargain am really pillar to post and this is what I last want in 29 weeks.
Chetna just go!
Love to you and baby
Shraddha

sowdha replied. hi chetana,
i am in the same postion, i have never left my husband and now of all the years he had to go to US on a assignment and i am 28 weeks pregnant, l have no chice rather than to come and stay with my parents. I know what u are going thro, yes u are depriving ur husband ur love but think of the babay inside u,,u need the emotional support from ur family side and after coming here to my mothers i am eating more proper food and i feel it is my duty to take care of the little one who is totally dependent on u. do not feel guilty. Mridula Kaul replied. Dear Chetana:

My son read out your message to me. I have gone back 33 years in time when my son was born.

It makes sense to go to your mom's place.

While your husband may get bored in blore in the beginning he will soon get to realize that it is for the best and in everyones interest that the baby gets No.1 attn, and till the baby comes, the baby's bearer gets No.1 attn.

I am sure he will respect your decision and understand the reasons behind it. I am also sure that you will forget this phase once you are back in blore with your cute baby.

Blessings

Mridula Aunty.