Hi everyone,

I'm now in the 28th week and it seems like I might not have my mother or my MIL during the delivery. My mom might not be able to come due to health issues. My father doesn't keep too well and my parents live by themselves in India (as all the kids are in the US) so leaving him alone for 2 months is not a good idea.

I thought in such a scenario my hubby would suggest asking my MIL to come but he hasn't. I don't understand why, I think the delivery is in October and she might not want to stay here in the cold weather. But at a time like this having any one mother would mean so much.

I don't know if I should say anything to my hubby. It looks like he has no intention of asking my MIL and is talking about managing by ourselves. I'm scared as this is my first baby and I have no one really to help me with stuff after the birth.

Maybe I can manage with paid help. I don't know what to do, should I ask my MIL directly, ask my hubby or just let it be. Expecting mom replied. I can understand that we are scared because we have no previous experience of child birth but I can not believe how selfish we can be. We want our MIL and mothers to be here in our time of need. Travel for good 20-22 hours, cramped in plan just to deliver our babies and help us out but we will not go to India in their time of need. Some of them has the audacity to even say that they did not get motherly love from their MIL well have you tried to be more like a daughter to her? We dictate our terms when they are here and treat them like help and not family members. They are couped up in a apartment for the whole duration. It is a sad sad situation.

If you can't manage to have a child on your own then don't have it. Think that you are fortunate if somebody is coming from India to help you out because they are dropping everything and coming to this crapy place to help you out so be thankful for that. nidhi bedi replied. Hey naina,

dont worry i am also in the same boat.. my MIL cannot come and mom doesnt have the visa dates yet ..One thing what u can do is to look around for some nanny .. there are lot of indian ladies who work as nannies.. they cook for you and ven do household and take care of the child also.. they ar elil expensive like $300-$500 a month.. so if u can afford.. that is the best way.. i am also planning to do the same..though my hubby is really helpful..but still i guess we would have to keep a nanny atleast for month or two..Good Luck!! aarthi replied. i have the same situation but i know that i can manage because i have a friend who had c-section n no one for help.her husband who had no experience with babies gave him bath for the first 3 months.in babies r us u get baby tub with mesh which u can use n its very easy.no need of anyones help.n about the food renting someone might be costly but if u can afford it go ahead, u can even get food from nice indian restaurents if near by.be happy n be brave it must be a good enjoyable adventure for u n ur husband.all the best.

aarthi

sweet mom replied. There is nothing to worry.because for my 1st delivery i had my MIl for help,i really had enough from her.so for my second one even though the difference between my kids were just 1year and 4 months i did call her and create any future issues.i dont know about your MIL but i dint get any mothers love from mine.
You are in US and there is nothing to worry about.ask your husband to take off during the first 2 weeks.by then you will be fine to do all the light works.your can freeze some od your favorite foods and us it for the initial days.and handling the baby comes just like that.
my frien hired a gujarathi lady for cooking and bathing the baby.but these kind of help are expensive.
but from my personal exerience i will say it is easy,because i did it with a toddler and a baby.so take care.