Parents of Preschoolers  Discussion Forum

What do you say/do when your spoiled teenage daughter flings open her jam packed closet and whines, "I have NOTHING to wear!"? Swapna replied. What do I do? First, I understand the situation. A girl who says ?I have nothing to wear!? is not saying ?I will literally go naked so I need to go to H&M right now?. She?s saying: ?I have nothing in this closet that suits my style, mood, the 5 lbs. period bloat I?m carrying, and the occasion and people I am meant to be putting clothes on my body for.? Sometimes I, too, stand in front of my jam-packed wardrobe and go ?I have nothing to wear!? So, you know, it?s not just about being spoiled. Second, I offer immediate help. Depending on how much time we?ve got, I might take one of two approaches. The first approach is a slow approach - I help her work through her options and needs and find things that might fit the bill. The second approach is a fast approach - I deliberately choose the most awful and unsuitable combination and say ?here, wear this?. This cunning use of reverse psychology might provoke an explosion of scorn, but it also produces a rapid assertion of independence in which something to wear is chosen. Third, I offer long-term help. A wardrobe packed full of tattered, poorly fitted or unattractive clothing is full, but it?s not useful. A wardrobe packed full of party dresses offers few options for hiking. Children don?t automatically know how to manage their wardrobes, and may need help learning to weed out what they?re not wearing and make better choices to fit their clothing to their lives. That?s part of my job as mum. Finally, I try not to write kids off as spoilt, no matter how awful they?re being in the moment. It?s neither productive nor conducive to a long-term relationship, which is my ultimate goal as a parent.