Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hello friends,

I am not in good terms with hubby, there is no love, respect, bonding nothing.
I am earning much higher than him and still being treated as maid only. though I am doing all my duties as wife and mother, and get abused if I ask him for anything. he is very lazy and have a very high ego.

it is affecting our child also.

I want to be separated, but afraid of staying single with kid in USA.

Parents keep telling to me, ignore him and concentrate on ur health & career. sister says leave him, he is not worth you..

I want your opinion, what should be the border line of staying with someone who doesnt love, respect me. what values am I teaching to my child with this life.

how difficult would it be if I move out.. wellwisher replied. You are a working woman. You have the capability to take care of your daughter. Just show that man that you can live without him. I hope you are earning enough to take of your daughter’s necessities. Why you should stay with the man who does not have any respect for you. May be, he will beg you not to go if you decide to move on. But do not change your decision easily. He will think you were just threatening him. There is no harm is communicating with him and trying to solve your disputes. Try to get things mended but if nothing works, show him that you have the guts to come up in life all alone.


Sum replied. Indian Hooly book \" GITHA\" It is says that If a women want, She have the sprit to change the whole world... You c Durga Maa, Kali Maa ( Goddes for Bengali) Noorjahan (wife of Sahjahan)Dropadi ( with five husbends)From \" Satyayug to todays date there is a lot women have changed. So why can' t you. Just decide for your better future and take disession your own. bharatismurugam replied. hey s being a women i understand ur feeling u r self depended women u dnt had to worry abt anything speak to ur husband without any fear let the thinks come out clearly where exactly the difference is discuss discuss discuss this is wht i suggest breaking the marriage is not the good idea but if still he wont talk abt this matter say him directly tht u cant keep this relationship anymore n then just wait for his answer c i told u to discuss only coz of ur child at this cases children r the one who suffer the most make him also understand abt this things rest depend upon u as u r educated women i just wish best for u in ur life

cheers
bharati Raj replied. Hi, Stop your vague thinking & talk to your partner openly & find out why he is doing that. Probably you can help him come out of what he is now. Instead of asking opinion about your relationship to others, just work with your partner. Others like me dont know your partners mind. He might be good in something, which no else might have.

So put a full stop to the thinking which might affect your professional life as well. Encourage your partner for doing things, understand his physical condition more, as to why he is really lazy, talk to a physician. Take him to a pshycologist. You have to take immense care of him now, once you do your bit, even god will get pleased of you & he will take care of your life. So do your bit first & leave it to god & see the result.

All the best sarla replied. i know what it feels dear specially when u r not in ur country.my sis also facing same prob like u. i really feel sad 4 u' ll. its not easy also now 2 come back 2 india & settle.hope everything gets fine
mindia replied. Hi, I' m male from india living in Newyork, Though i' m friendly nobody trust me or respect me i my life. If u trust me and atleast respect me as a human being i can spend rest of my life supporting and respect u r feelings. we can live together. abi replied. Hi dear,
I had posted 2 message for u but I don' t no as 2 y it has not put,
which part of US do u live ,
I like 2 help u for ur pro. Selva replied. Find out from him why he dislike you and hates you. Being seperated from ur husband is very easy, at the same time if u find the problem and resolve it. you will get a fantasic life. Wish u all the best. Namita replied. if u are earning well(yes money is most imp.) n u r confident to stay separate from ur husband then pls. go forward ... no need to waste time on such people, the difficulties and pain u r facing and whtever ur child is getting affected by all this .. i m sure ur husband is not at all bothered and this doesnt even affect him ... so it is alwys better to live a single and happy life rather than living a abusive and disturb life Chandra replied. Hi,

Im sort of in the same position, but my marriage is pretty much over. My husband is a control-freak, only wants me to do what he wants, wants me to quit school and come back home. Im 6 mths pregnant with our child, we havent even been married a year yet.

My family says the same thing, just worry about ur school, and your health. But its tough. I don' t know how it is to be a single mom, but I guess I will soon enough. Do you have good family support?
I know im gonna have the complete support of my family. My mom will probably be taking care of my baby while I am in school. And I already know my (ex?) husband will not even bother wanting any contact with the baby. I think it may be a little hard, but with a good support group it can definately work.

I hope things work out with you and your husband. But if he truly is not willing to change, then there is no point in staying with him. My parents are the last people in the world to ever think about divorce, but they even said, its better to live a life alone, then be miserable. If you think he can change, then by all means try!
I' m at my wits end...cant stay with someone who makes me scared and miserable.

good luck!!