Relationships  Discussion Forum

Amit,Chandrima,bhavana,what!!!!!!

Please define cheating.

Don't give me the dictionary definition,that I know,but according to all of you, define cheating to me.

1. Chandrima you said that men look at porn sites all the time,looking is not cheating.....plzzzz tell me you really believe that if that were the case with your hubby.So from your comment I assume if your hubby looks at porn sites you won't feel anything,and its ok with you ,basically it doesn't affect you.I also assume you wouldn't go and take revenge .That he did it so can I kind of revenge.
2. If a guy(somebody's hubby) fantasizes about some other girl while he is with his wife, will it be still \";not cheating\"; .
3. If a guy(somebody's hubby) looks at a girl,with real feelings with his wife beside him and he feels a momentary fluttering of heart,is that \";cheating\"; or not.
Celebrity attraction is not the kind of attraction that you can give an ex about Amit,nobody feels their heart fluttering when you see a celebrity,at least not the few people that I know.Thats just hero worshipping,a part of you would like to be like that or who has been a role model somewhere in your childhood days,and it never leaves you.Admiration and attraction are two different things.You admire your parents,your teachers,your seniors,actors,actresses.I like aishwarya does it mean I am attracted to her NO.
4. When one is married and feels the attraction for his/her colleague and they go out for a coffee knowing that you have an attraction for that person ,is that cheating or not.

Its the thought that makes us what we are.Its the thought that furthers our actions.


LAST OF ALL......Do let me know if whatever you supported lets assume \";chandrima,amit,bhavana and what\";,that you felt attraction for a person assume your colleague,both of you exchanged pleasantries and smiles,say for 2 weeks(with the knowledge that you have an attraction for that person ) WOULD YOU GUYS REVEAL THIS TO YOUR resp.SPOUSES,according to you its not cheating right,would you tell your husbands or wives that you felt attraction for somebody else while they were busy in their lives, b'coz since that is not cheating your husband/wife would and should not have any qualms right?????
Amit would you tell your wife that you (only assumption) were watching a porn site????
what about you bhavana,chandrima would you???

I would really want somebody to define the parameters of cheating.When does it become cheating and when it doesn't.
Yep this site is a wonderful site where a large no. of people come with diff. issues .Its a learning no doubt,the support and encouragement that one gets here is enormous,but simply b'coz somebody expresses his or her point of view strongly stamping that person as frustrated or angry or hurt or deprived is also wrong.

I would like to tell Priya that this is not to upset you or nothing to do with you just a thought that struck me during the post that you had put up,I admire the fact that you stepped back from it,some people don't.So you can let go of this discussion and take care of yourself and your baby.

P.S:-This post is just for a healthy discussion .Opinions and views only are welcome,no abusive languages plz and don't GET PERSONAL.
ding-ding replied. Mogambo darling, I am still here...Nobody saw me!.. satya replied. All of you can be happy and party and celebrate.
I am leaving this board.My friend since childhood had commited a similar blunder of getting attracted and she unfortunately got caught,they remain married but live separately in their own home.
Anyways,bye all of you.
There are consequences one has to pay,believe me whn i say this,to every action there is an equal and opp reaction,this is true people.
If its not you the same mistake that you did and did not get repurcussions always befall your kids ,i have seen it at very close quarters.

Bye,i don't want to fight with people,your life ,i am nobody to tell you anything.
Bye and have a good life and god bless you all. ha ha replied. all u people/ladies r just wasting ur time discussing the same issue... LOL... what replied. You have humbly requested all of the people not to be personal..
AND
This is your first reply-posting for Priya's genuine question:
\";....Honestly you know the answer yourself,confused and all this is pure crap.
You are definitely sick and deprived of lots of stuff.
You just want somebody here to tell you that whatever you are feeling is natural,the same old stuff of I know what you are going thru,it might be lonely for you,and its all your husband's fault for leaving you and all such other nonsense.
You say that you are never going to cheat your hubby,BUT you are already doing that,you feel elated on seeing the other guy,you feel happy and the day is bright and the sun is different in shape and size for you in this other man's presence,then what exactly ARE YOU CONFUSED ABOUT .
CONFUSED MY FOOT.\";........
Now Why did YOU get so personal?.Why did you comment about whether she is deprived or not of anything?...How can you conclude her to be \";sick\";?...
Look how contradicting you are?!.
How can you expect anyone to write genuine replies to you? when you are not like that.
Now I will keep the rest of the words I am getting in my mouth (to tell you) myself and leave you alone since you have requested not to be personal and no bad language.
Still I am waiting for your explanations for those terms in teh previous post to best answer your questions.



What replied. Hi Satya,
Can you please define these terms from your post.Sorry I am not able to catch up with your thought stream...
1. fantasizing
2.real feelings
3.momentary fluttering of heart
4.\";at least not the few people that I know\";- can you please describe about those few people that you know.
5.Admiration and attraction
6.exchanged pleasantries and smiles
7.\";I admire the fact that you stepped back from it\";-Can you explain what does that \";it\"; mean here.
Thank you very Much.

bhavana replied. I agree , I don't have any words or I can't define the parameters of cheating.

But i will say this,sometimes people say or do or think about things which may be wrong acc to society.But all of us are humans ,we commit mistakes,it is the basic nature to fall and get back on your feet and walk again.
Sometimes people get carried away and give in to temptaions but the people who fall and step back and check their mistakes before giving in are the ones who stand out ,the ones who learn from their mistakes are the ones who give a meaning to their lives and are able to stand with their head held high.
Its ok to commit mistakes,technically you are right but practically impossible to do.
What you said are the characteristics of an ideal individual.I don't say such people don't exist but lots of them also commit mistakes.
We just learn and move on.
Hope you get my point.
Take care dear.Just being there as a friend and helping the person from falling into the trap is what we do dear.