Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi all,
I am expecting my first baby on 6th of july and as the D-day is coming near my anxiety is growing evry single day. I am working and dont want to stop working after having a baby. After the initial 3 months I want to start working again. I have planned to keep a maid or keeping my child in a day care. I personally feel that keeping child at a day care wud be better than leaving the child with the maid at home. Any advice on this???
Im really worried how ill manage once i start working . My MIL keeps scaring me day in and day out about the consequences of working with a small baby back at home . Actually she doesnt want me to work. but if every single day some one keeps telling u the same thing at some point of time u start feeling that probably the person is right . Im really scared.
Working moms pls pls pls give me some advice on this. I really want to continue working.
Need some morale boost desperately.
Raashi

Ras replied. Hey Raashi,

Sure that your pregnancy is making you anxious of the future. But, who has seen their future. Relax now and enjoy the next few months of pregnancy. You would anyway other reasons to worry.

I am a working mother too and my son is 1.6 years old now. I did NOT quit my work after my delivery for various reasons.
First, my manager was very supportive and gave me the option to work from home for the first few months.
Second, my husband was very supportive. Sometimes I use to leave very early in the morning for work and reach home in the afternoon. After which my husband used to go to work in the afternoon and work late through the night.
Then, I also tried a part time baby sitter for the reason that my son(about 7 months then) would be in a clean hygenic environment. But, then she wasn' t reliable and used to take off without even informing us. This caused a lot of trouble at home and office.
Finally, I decided to put him in a day care for one important reason - he would learn to be independent. He would do also better socially and learn good (and bad) things from other kids. Now, he is in a day care. First couple of months was difficult for him and us. But, I guess he has getting used to the fact that his parents would be back for him after few hours.

Anyway, these decisions can be taken when you come to that point. So, cross the bridge when it comes!

All the best,
Ras raashi replied. Hi all,
thanx for the encouraging words. I really feel better now. I have started to take things lightly and am looking forward to the birth of my child rather than the problems which might come after that. After all its how u perceive things.
Thanks all of u again.
take care
Raashi PS replied. I went back to work when my baby was 3 months old..my parents were there till she was 4 mths..after which I started leaving her in day care.

Personally I prefer the day care because then I feel more certain that her diaper is getting changed and she is getting fed regularly etc...she also has people around her ..and they do all kinds of play activities...but then again, I dont know how it is in India..

check out different day cares around yr office or house...I went to at least 4-5 before I made up my mind...that would kind of give you an idea abt how the babies in that center are taken care of...

Incidentally, even if you are nursing, you can join work...just buy a good electric pump and you can pump and give her yr milk in yr absence...I do and it works great...

All the best..and don' t get so worked up abt this...just formulate a plan and check out all the options (like going and visiting the diff day cares)...and then take the one you are most comfortable with...

Enjoy yr pregnancy and dont worry too much...

nehal replied. I left my job after giving birth to my angel.Before delivery I was also planning like u but after that I had no support of in-laws and I was just not ready to leave my child in creche. I left my job, became a stay-at-home mom..enjoyed being with my daughter.
Now she is 20 months, I' ve joined a company that is near to my place..requested my MIL to be here for 4-5 months..so that when my daughter will be 2 years, I' ll put her in creche.
By that time she will be grown enough to enjoy other children' s company.

I' m working now without any guilt. I' ve seen moms who continues their jobs and feel guilt after some time.

I' m happy with my decisions which I made.
So don' t worry too much..take the things as they come to your way. Its really individual choice..no-one can help you in this.
People do leave their 3-4 months kids in creches and people do take break from career to give a good foundation to their kids.
So its all up to you. aryans mom replied. Hi Raashi,

I continued going to office after 4 months of maternity leave. I was also in dilemma where to leave my child, whether to continue the job or not. On that point of time, my mother helped me and took care of my son for 4 months. Eventually, we talked to our maid who was working at our home for 2 years, she agreed and now takes care of my son.

My son is now 1.4 years and I go to office, leaving my son with the maid. I was also pranoid towards keeping my baby with the maid but in between i changed my job and got a new job which is very nearby to my house.

If possible, look for a job which is near to your home or vice versa. If u are leaving with your in-laws , then u are fortunate and should not worry in keeping a maid for your kid. But But, see I had feeding problem, so i started working, but if u would be feeding, then my advice to you will be to feed him at least for six months and forget about job till then.

Tripti replied. Hi Raashi,

My baby was just 5 month old when I started going office for the full time..she is almost of 1yr now..but still I feel...which option is better?

I sincerly, feel that leaving baby at home with some good /clean maid in the supervision of your Mother or MIL is always much better option than going for crech..because for 1 yr. baby needs some close attention as they are growing fast..which is possible only when some dedicated person is on them..Doctors also don' t advice for crech as small babies can easily catch infection and curing them is bit difficult as they can' t swollow pill or take steam..

If you have some good help inyour help which can look after your baby with the assistance of maid ..go for it..otherwsise for atleast 1 yr don' t leave the baby on crech...

Apart from it..don' t bother sweetie..once that little prince would be in your hand...u ll fix your mind instantly..

Best of luck

tripti sona replied. Hi Raashi,

Dont be nervous and this time think about only your D day and be happy.
I too a working woman and started working when my baby was 4 months old.Initially some problems will be there means u have to manage both office, home as well as baby but after some times everything will be settled.

so dont worry much be happy now.

take care
sona