Relationships  Discussion Forum

Have you quit work to sit at home and be a mom? Namrata Vora did. And she doesn't regret it for an instant!

I used to react rather violently to this question but now I guess I've mellowed down. I just smile and think something along the lines of 'Forgive him Father, for he knows not what he says...'

Four years ago, armed with a degree each from an IIT and an IIM, I had dreams of reaching the top of the corporate ladder. Till one fine day my doc gave the verdict - I was going to be a mom! It was a bolt from the blue, completely unexpected. I had my share of the usual pregnancy problems, so much that I had to give up my job in a management consultancy. I quit, vowing to return once the baby arrived.

Motherhood is hard work. The primary qualifications required are infinite patience and oodles of stamina.

And what about my hubby? Well, he stood next to me holding my hand throughout my labour (the best pain relief there can be), he changed the baby's nappies at night so that I could catch up on my sleep, told me how much he envied me because I got to spend all my time with our child, how much he admired my efforts. Yes, my relationship with him has changed - we've become better friends now.

True, when I get back to work (the paid type) in a few years, I would be several rungs behind my batch mates. But the countless moments of pure happiness that I shared with my li'l one are something I wouldn't trade for anything.

It's not a sacrifice it's a privilege to be a parent

Do you agree that parenthood is not a sacrifice, but a priveleage. Share your thought! Priya k. replied. Hi,I m just another mom like u...a management graduate from mumbai.I couldn' t even get a chance 2 do a job because of my husband' s often tranfers.I hav a 4 yr.old son & I njoy dng this 24/7 duty & being at his service all the time.but i know some mothers who r working & have weekends off,but they dont want 2 stay at home bcause their child doesn' t leave them 4 a min and that \" irritates \" them!So awful!
so just lets be proud of ourselves & witness the shaping of the most the most beatiful creation of ours!

Priya K.Mumbai. Diya replied. Hi Namrata!!
I am really touched by your story...
I have a son 2 yrs old..and he is very naughty..After returning to home from office sometimes I feel very tired playing with him..But now after reading your story I think every little time I get to spend with my son is valuable...
Will you be my chat friend?? Mrs Saloni Rana replied. The article was encouraging. I am in a similar situation as u were. i have to come US 4 months back and I have 2 samll kids.Well it gave me an idea how lucky I was being a parent full time.Thanks and all the best Sonia Gupta replied. dear namrata
I think my story is just the carbon copy of ur story..........
m also feeling the same as u r feeling....really the moments spent with my child r priceless for me George Joseph replied. I have two children and was planning to send my well educated wife to a suitable job.

After reading these messages I stopped my thinking to send her to work and feel jealous on my wife as she is really enjoying life better than me.

Realy, if you believe or not now I am thinking to sit home and take care of the babies and send my wife to work and earn.

What do you think of my new apprach to life??? Is it a good idea??

sanjiv replied. Hi,
I am currently doing some research on the same topic, choosing between career vs. motherhood, and saw some interesting thoughts here.

Is anybody here with these experiences in Mumbai currently? I'd like to hear about them.

Sanjiv
mahek replied. i too left my job after my kid and have been at home for the last 10 yrs but i feel that i took the right decision and i could do everything for my son. the only disadvantage being the child becomes too dependent . Vijaya replied. Hi,

I truly appreciate your feelings and sure its no sacrifice to quite your job, its a priviledege to be with your child all the time. I am a mother of an year old and I am working. I have not quite my job ! and I feel equally happy and overjoyed to be a mother, to be with my little one as anyone would be.

I have watched my son make small movements, trying to turn his body, trying crawl or walk.. and it sure is the biggest joy on earth.

Its a priviledge to be a parent and no sacrifice or responsibility or anything else. Whether you decide to quite from your job or decide to continue it is only a matter of circumstances. I did not quit, and spend time with my son every morning, afternoon and evening. I am thankful to God to allow me this concession!. Vijaya replied. Hi,

I truly appreciate your feelings and sure its no sacrifice to quite your job, its a priviledege to be with your child all the time. I am a mother of an year old and I am working. I have not quite my job ! and I feel equally happy and overjoyed to be a mother, to be with my little one as anyone would be.

I have watched my son make small movements, trying to turn his body, trying crawl or walk.. and it sure is the biggest joy on earth.

Its a priviledge to be a parent and no sacrifice or responsibility or anything else. Whether you decide to quite from your job or decide to continue it is only a matter of circumstances. I did not quit, and spend time with my son every morning, afternoon and evening. I am thankful to God to allow me this concession!. Shilpa replied. Hey, me too! Sailing in the same boat! Love to be at-home mom! Its rewards are many and you get them every passing day every moment! The joy in ur li'l ones eye when he sees a spider and wants to click a photo, when U show him a ladybug popping up from the green leafy veggies that you are cleaning... that first neat picture drawn for you of a house and mountains and that lovely tree... Oh U have to experience it to b'lieve it! And these moments are not planned so U better be there to catch every one of it! Well said, Namrata! Tony S replied. Hey Namrata, You have said very aptly and rightly about parenting - that it is a privilege and not a sacrifice. I have a 3.5 yr old son and 1.5 yr old daughter and i love being with them , teaching them diff. things etc. but i get really nervous when people taunt me for not having made a flying career. how do u handle that ? (i am a BE in COmputers and have done my PG in Business Admin.)I was working for about 5 yrs before we started a family and now i am a stay at home mom. Poonam replied. I am Ph.D. in Mathematics. My baby is one year. I refused two international offers of job as I didn´t want him to keep away from his father and put all the day into creche. Making hime learn `Bye-Bye´, Hello and other little activities gives so much pleasure and when he plays hide n seek with me. When I understand him without saying even one word, I feel myself as the most successful. Taking care of him, providing him a healthy atmosphere to grow and chanting gaytri mantra while feeding, bathing and sleeping, this is never possible otherwise. I feel on the top of world with him. I don´t know if I could get the same job opportunities in future or not but what I am getting today is uncomparable. sheetal replied. It's true. Many Indian women today are thinking parenthood as a burden. I am a mother of two year old. I work but spend all my lunch hours and evenings with her. Leaving everything else behind. Many of my friends who are in especially IT are not willing to have children even after 5/6 years of their marriage. I think keeping life in perspective is more important than anything. Your article is verywell written and for people who choose to work or not have to accept that raising children is a previlage and not a sacrifice. For all the love they give and all the little things they teach us, we are better each day. Shannu replied. Hey Namrata,
I am really so happy to read this article of Urs.....breaths life again in to me. I am also a postgraduate.... not working once I stepped in to Pregnancy phase..... I also dont regret this decision of mine. But I am proud that am there for my dear son all the time when he needs me. I am really glad to know that there R so many people around who R going thru the same feeling. Well written article. Too good.
Shannu athreyi replied. Hi Namratha..Hats off to your message.It really brought light in my life.I did my masters in engineering and cry each day for not working.I was happy to read your article. Nawomica sahay replied. Hi
We liked your article.Its true that its privilege to be a parent.We are sure when your toddler will grow as a nice humanbeing, her smile and the brightness of her eye will compensate your missing days of corporate world. preeti satish replied. So true--& so well written.I have quit my job too--am now a proud mother of two--a four and a half year old son & a year old daughter.I too don't trust any creche or day care with my precious bundles.And i am so happy i'm there for them now--when they need me.In a few years they will be capable of taking care of themselves--these precious years never come back. Ursula replied. You have so eloquently written what many other mothers feel. I too put a promising career on hold to get on the \";mommy track\";. Do I regret it? Not for one single second.
Our precious daughter has shown us how to enjoy all of life's joyful and gleeful little moments. It's when I look into her big beautiful eyes and get a wet sticky kiss from her that I know that I made the right decision!! Fabiola Jacob replied. I quit my job too, for my daughter's sake. She is 3 now, and when I look back, I will always cherish the magical moments of watching her grow through these initial years. The bond we share is truly unique, and I feel it has been extra special b'cos I've always been with her, especially when it mattered the most. But there have also been moments when I've regretted quitting my job, especially when I see others my age climbing the corporate ladder. But somehow, I just couldn't have left my precious one in a creche. I'm sure someday, when I get back to work, all this wouldn't matter, for the precious moments I've spent with my little one are truly valuable! Ranjika Ghosh replied. Very very well written and well put..I share your
feelings..