Making mistakes while disciplining children can teach them wrong lessons and convey wrong messages to them. Here are 7 common discipline mistakes which should be avoided by parents.Being a parent is a tough job and it is probably not possible to be perfect all the time.There are many mistakes which parents make and some of them are so common that they can be termed as universal parenting mistakes. In this articleLyingEmpty ThreatsCorporal PunishmentBursting Out in AngerWaiting for a Long TimeNon Actionable ConsequencesTalking On and On LyingMany parents lie to their kids in order to inject fear in their minds and force them to obey certain rules or behave in a certain desired way. Even if those lies are white lies, they hamper the kid’s sense of trust in the parent when the truth does get discovered. For example, lying to your kid “eat your food now or we will ask police uncle to come and get you” may work in the short time frame. However, as soon as your kid discovers that there is no police uncle around he or she will start disbelieving every word that you say even when they are not true. Empty ThreatsEvery parent at some point of time has said things that they had no intention of actually doing. Threatening kids with “I will leave you here if you do not keep down that toy right now” will backfire as the kid will discover that you are not going to leave him or her behind. If you say something in terms of disciplining your children then the words need to be followed up by action. Corporal PunishmentMost parents have resorted to hitting or pushing or punishing their kids in a physical way of discipline. Corporal punishment even in a mild version (like slapping the wrist) is not acceptable as the kid picks up the message that it is acceptable to hit and push to get one’s will established. In future children will try hitting their peers and friends whenever they feel that things are not going according to their will. Bursting Out in AngerAny form of disciplinary measure cannot be enforced properly if it is done in a burst of anger. Anger is a destructive emotion that does neither you nor your kids any good. When faced with any kind of destructive wave of anger it is best to let that wave pass and then try to speak to your kids. Children are unable to decipher your actual words and intent when you speak in an elevated excited tone of voice. Try speaking in a firm level tone of voice to children when speaking about a serious issue like discipline as this will always yields better results. Waiting for a Long TimeDiscipline should best be a regular feature of life that brings structure into the behaviour pattern of kids. When discipline is enforced in a reactive form, sufficient care should be taken to ensure that the discipline follows quickly after provocative behaviour. When the disciplinary act takes too long to come, kids miss out on its importance and ignore the situation. Non Actionable ConsequencesMany parents speak of vague consequences like “you will be sent to live with the angry old man” or some other stuff that is non actionable. The best option for parents is to think of an immediately actionable consequence when talking to their kids. Whenever you feel that your children are pushing you over the limit of your endurance then take a break to cool yourself down. So make sure that you speak of consequences that can be executed and then make sure that those consequences are actionable Talking On and OnMany parents ramble on and on when talking about discipline and in the process lose the attention of their kids. When talking to children it is important to be crisp and precise and to stop once the message has been delivered. This list of 7 mistakes (which by the way are entirely preventable) made by parents when it comes to enforcing discipline will help you develop a better perspective about discipline. What kind of discipline mistake do most of the parents make? How can parents avoid making discipline mistakes? What are the effects of discipline mistakes on children?Discuss here.
Making mistakes while disciplining children can teach them wrong lessons and convey wrong messages to them. Here are 7 common discipline mistakes which should be avoided by parents.Being a parent is a tough job and it is probably not possible to be perfect all the time.There are many
mistakes which parents make and some of them are so common that they can be termed as universal parenting mistakes.
Lying
Many parents lie to their kids in order to inject fear in their minds and force them to obey certain rules or behave in a certain desired way. Even if those lies are white lies, they hamper the kid’s sense of trust in the parent when the truth does get discovered. For example, lying to your kid “eat your food now or we will ask police uncle to come and get you” may work in the short time frame. However, as soon as your kid discovers that there is no police uncle around he or she will start disbelieving every word that you say even when they are not true.
Empty Threats
Every parent at some point of time has said things that they had no intention of actually doing. Threatening kids with “I will leave you here if you do not keep down that toy right now” will backfire as the kid will discover that you are not going to leave him or her behind. If you say something in terms of
disciplining your children then the words need to be followed up by action.
Corporal Punishment
Most parents have resorted to hitting or pushing or
punishing their kids in a physical way of discipline. Corporal punishment even in a mild version (like slapping the wrist) is not acceptable as the kid picks up the message that it is acceptable to hit and push to get one’s will established. In future children will try
hitting their peers and friends whenever they feel that things are not going according to their will.
Bursting Out in Anger
Any form of disciplinary measure cannot be enforced properly if it is done in a burst of anger. Anger is a destructive emotion that does neither you nor your kids any good. When faced with any kind of destructive wave of anger it is best to let that wave pass and then try to speak to your kids. Children are unable to decipher your actual words and intent when you speak in an elevated excited tone of voice. Try speaking in a firm level tone of voice to children when speaking about a serious issue like discipline as this will always yields better results.
Waiting for a Long Time
Discipline should best be a regular feature of life that brings structure into the
behaviour pattern of kids. When discipline is enforced in a reactive form, sufficient care should be taken to ensure that the discipline follows quickly after provocative behaviour. When the disciplinary act takes too long to come, kids miss out on its importance and ignore the situation.
Non Actionable Consequences
Many parents speak of vague consequences like “you will be sent to live with the angry old man” or some other stuff that is non actionable. The best option for parents is to think of an immediately actionable consequence when talking to their kids. Whenever you feel that your children are pushing you over the limit of your endurance then take a break to cool yourself down. So make sure that you speak of consequences that can be executed and then make sure that those consequences are actionable
Talking On and On
Many parents ramble on and on when talking about discipline and in the process lose the attention of their kids. When talking to children it is important to be crisp and precise and to stop once the message has been delivered.
This list of 7 mistakes (which by the way are entirely preventable) made by parents when it comes to enforcing discipline will help you develop a better perspective about discipline.
What kind of discipline mistake do most of the parents make? How can parents avoid making discipline mistakes? What are the effects of discipline mistakes on children?Discuss here.