Many mothers are often confronted with the dilemma of choosing between their jobs or careers, and their children.
What mothers
first need to realize is that having one does not require sacrificing
the other. Telling yourself that you need to choose between your job
and your children implies that you feel if you select one, you lose the other. This, as any working mother will tell you, is far from the truth. However, there are other aspects you need to keep in mind.
When you have children, your responsibilities and work at home increases. You have to cook for more people, you have to shop for more people - you need to take the time out to help your children
with their homework, clean up after them, drop and pick them up from
their various activities, entertain them, spend time with them and
still ensure that all chores are completed on schedule. If you add a full time job to your schedule, many mothers
feel that they will not be able to cope - with good reason. There are
only 24 hours in a day, and you can only fit in so much. What you may
not be able to fit in is spending time with the children.
Does this have an adverse effect on the children?
The answer is, surprisingly, no. In fact, mothers with careers have a positive impact on children, as they serve as good role models. Such mothers tend to emphasise education, and also manage to spend quality time with their children. Thanks to the dual income, the standard of living is higher, children get access to better quality education and extra-curricular activities.
Often, in dual income families, both parents tend to be highly
educated, as a result of which the child takes education more
seriously. Naturally children whose mothers don't work could also shine in school, but at least what is certain is that a working mother doesn't have a negative impact at all on the child - if anything - the impact is positive.
What you need to figure out is, can you cope with work in the house and
in the office? If it is getting to be too much, consider hiring help.
As long as you earn a good chunk more than what you pay your help, it's
worth it. Also, delegate chores to your children. This will not only take a load off your shoulders, but it will also help make your children more responsible and independent.
Needless to say, if you and your husband both have full time jobs, both
should help out with housework. If the entire family does their share,
the job will get done quickly, and you will have more time to spend
together as a family.
So if you ever felt that being away at work will somehow
harm your kids, remember that it will not. However, you may miss your
kids more than they will miss you - and you may not be around them as
much as you like. This is one sacrifice you will definitely have to
make - and while it may not harm your kids, it may cause you to have
pangs of longing every now and again. You may be stuck in a meeting
when you'd much rather be at home hugging your children.
Sure, you can hug them a few hours later, but if you find staying away
from them too much to bear, quit your job! Similarly, if work gives you
a high, continue with it. After all, a happy mother is far more
important than one that's around all the time.
Name:
Ridhima Kamath
Country: India
I do not agree it is easy to chose between both! As a young mom, career was important to me, but my son was not an option.. I had to take al the help from my family, friends, even collegues. Luckily i had all des wonderful people to help me... If someone could tell me wat would b the ideal time to get back to work, i would be glad. cos i got back to work realy early.. and i have this immense guilt of leaving my son and getting abck to work. Even though i go back home everday for lunch.... i still feel guilty.
Name:
Ridhima Kamath
Country: India
I do not agree it is easy to chose between both! As a young mom, career was important to me, but my son was not an option.. I had to take al the help from my family, friends, even collegues. Luckily i had all des wonderful people to help me... If someone could tell me wat would b the ideal time to get back to work, i would be glad. cos i got back to work realy early.. and i have this immense guilt of leaving my son and getting abck to work. Even though i go back home everday for lunch.... i still feel guilty.
Name:
Nisha
Country: India
Thanks for the article.
I really wonder why it has to be Career OR kids, why it cannot be
Career AND kids. I worked for 6 years in IT and know from last 3 years
I am at home taking care of my sweet daughter. But I strongly want to work.
I want to manage both. For those who have daughters, u all want them to shine bright in there careers right, and what for? One day to give up everything to raise kids? My mother was a working lady, I always wanted to be like her and I want my daughter to feel the same for me. My mom was a principal of a school, she is my roll model. Being a kid I was crazy about everything she used to do, the way she used to dress up for school, her big cabin, and the way she used to handle parents, staff, and the way she used to make ways in bad situations. I agree my mom’s job was not as time expensive as my job was.
I know it’s extremely difficult but as this article says it’s not bad to be a working mom.
I want to concentrate on ways to achieve this than listing out on the difficulties.
Name:
priyaanand
Country: usa
this article is totally focussing only on working.when you work you can make money ofcourse its true but you are missing all your child's development for eg.,crawling,sitting, feeding,etc.,etc.,nowhere you can get it back.once the child milestone development you miss forever you can't get it back but consider of money you can make money whenever you feel like after they are grownup.
child may expect lots and lots of affection,hugs,kisses from you but if you go to work they miss all those and they cannot ask for it
Name:
sapna pahwa
Country: india
yes priya i agree with u. the article does seem to be encouraging women to work. but it also says that although children dont lose that much when u work, u as a mother do lose out the important moments.. see the last para.
Name:
savs
Country: india
i do not agree with the article. motherhood has to be experienced in totality to be a fulfilling experience.a child whose mother is a homemaker has a healthier attitude to life than one who is brought up by an ayah or is a latchkey child. quality time is a defination coined by working mothers to silence their guilty conscience. do they expect their children to fall sick, get hurt etc. only during the quality time? a mother's place at home and society is incomparable. 'matru devo bhava' was coined to emphasise the supreme importance of motherhood in our society. i willingly sacrificed my career to bring up my two kids and i have n ot regretted it even once in the last 15 years. when i see my children growing up happy, healthy,intelligent,well adjusted and responsible human beings my happiness is complete. touchwood.
Name:
Smitha
Country: india
this is still a debatable issue.a balance can be maintained if working hours are fixed and enough help is available. but if working hours stretch and are very demanding , it becomes a nightmare, which affects the child and mother
Name:
mother
Country: India
i do not agree with the article.either you are a career woman or a homemaker.if you try to balance both in a cosmopolitan city of today's time, you are neither.you are only fooling yourself if you say you are giving quality time to your kids, b'coz after 10 - 12 hrs of work, what time or quality time can you give to your kids? i totally agree with smartmom.
Name:
Rohini R
Country: India
i totally agree with the article. i think one can balance between work & home. i myself have working mom still i feel my childhood was best. i am a good, educated human being. my mother is a doctor. now i am a working mom but my child is very much attached to me.
Name:
Kiran
Country: India
the article sounds good to read but practically i dont think it is possible u have mentioned about family and husband support do we really get that???? u should give more input on this. thx
Name:
Aditi
Country: India
i am residing in mumbai, my parents / in laws are in delhi. i am due in oct. i am being working from last 6 yrs and want to continue working. but i have a query where do leave my child who would be just 4-5 months old when i join back. i have no family support where i an leave my child (with aaya).
Name:
rupal
Country: India
hi , i have the same problem. i m a computer faculty amd i m enjoying it too. m doing this job as a passion but it has the bad effercts on my son as i m not being able to give him proper time. i stay in joint family and have to be in kitchen only once i come from work.
then i thought of quitting the job bcaz i was getting migrane attcks bcaz of exertion. now i am happy bcaz i have only kitchen part to take care of and my son to take care of.i can balance and after reading the second article i feel i have taken a right decision.
i had two choices either to make money or be with my son in his entering the teen age . i know both r not possible .
i feel really good reading this article as it says a decision can be right or wrong as per your problems
Name:
darshini
Country: India
managing both home and work is really very very difficult.. i worked as a it professional and was earning more than my hubby in chennai.. now i resigned and i am happy to take care of my baby, but my hubby is forcing me to work again.. we could manage with the money he earns, but now i am forced to work.. unless the mentality of men change, it is really very difficult for ladies.. traveling and work alone will take more than 12 hrs a day..
Name:
Namita
Country: India
the idea of leaving work for some initial years and then joining back sounds good. but is that only a theoretical concept... ever tried searching a job after long break....i have...and the men interviewing out there treat you, why at all are you back...better go back home you are not capable enough for the corpprate world.
Name:
tony S
Country: india
this article emphasises more on a woman to work than stay at home. i think in that way it is incomplete. pros and cons of both a working mother and stay at home mom should be discussed. nowadays domestic help is also not so easily available. so please give us more knowledge and info in detail. thx
Name:
smartmom
Country: india
i feel..first set up yr family for the 10 yrs after marriage..so that the kids r all well settled and then start working everyone adjusts well and the kids r not so demanding...its worth the sacrifice!!!!!!!!!!
Name:
Usha Pavan
Country: india
yes, i agree with everything that is given in the article. but to be able to do justice to work and family, it needs very high energy levels and demands lot of discipline.
