Rude Teens

Isyourteenagerrude?Oftenparentsignorethisrudeness,believingittobenormalbehaviourforteens.Thisisnottrue.Notallteenagersarerudetotheirparents.Manyofthemarebestfriendswiththeirmothers.Althoughoccasionalfightsarenormal,rudenessandrebelliousbehaviourneedstobecheckedattheearliest.Checkrudenessfirmlythefirsttimeithappens.Ifyouryoungchildisrudetoyou,lethimknowinnouncertainterms,thatthisissimplynotacceptable.Althoughyouwouldlovetobeafriendtoyourchild,suchfriendshipdoesnotincluderudeness.Similarly,youtooshouldavoidbeingrudetoyourchild.InthisarticleCheckinsolenceateverystepDontunderestimatepeerinfluenceCommunicatewithyourteenCheckinsolenceateverystepIfoneincidentofrudenessslipsby,yourchildwillbelieveitisacceptabletospeakinthismanner.Hethenkeepspushingtheboundaries,seeinghowfaryouwilltakehischeek.Rememberthatyourchildisnotdeliberatelytryingtohurtyou,butyoumayhaveunknowinglyhurthimdeeplywhenyoudeniedsomething-eventhoughitmaybeforhisowngood.Thismakeshimwanttolashoutatyouintheonlywayhecan.Ifyourchildsdesiresareconstantlyignored,itwillbeharderandharderforhimtocontrolhisfrustrations.Trybeinglenientwithhiminsomematters,andintolerantofrudeness.Ifrudenessisleftuncheckedwhenyourchildisyoung,itislikelytospiralwhenyourchildreachesherteens-socheckinsolenceateverystep.DontunderestimatepeerinfluencePeerpressureexertsitsstrongestinfluenceonateenager.Atnostageinlifeisapersonasvulnerabletotheinfluencesofhisfriends,aswhenheisinhisteens.Supportfromfriendsisofprimeimportance.Whenyouhaveafightwithyourteen,sheknowsshecanruntoafriendandpouroutherheartatbeingfrustratedwithyourbehaviour.Herfriendwillsupportherfully,andislikelytobringyoudowninthebargain.CommunicatewithyourteenOtherteenagersseetheirfriendsspeakingtotheirparentsrudely,andmaytrythesamethingathome.Itisimportantthatyouputafirmstoptoitassoonasitbegins.Tryanddothiswithoutlosingyourtemperorgettingindignantatthewayshejustspoketoyou.Askherwhyshefeltsheneededtospeakinsucharudemanner.Ifyoureasonwithyourchildandkeepyourcool,tempersneednotberaised.Communicationisveryimportant.Always,alwaystryandunderstandwhysheactsinacertainway,andwhatisgoingthroughhermind.Andonceyouveclarifiedmatters,besureyouletherknowthatnomatterhowangrysheis,shecannotspeaktoyouinacertainway.Letherrealizethatdifferentfamiliesaredifferent,andyouareverydifferentfromherfriendsparents.Whatisscaryissomefriendsmayreallyspeakpoorlyabouttheirparentsforwhateverreason,andyourchildcouldthengettemptedtojoininwithherinputs!Andwhenshefindsthissupportwithfriends,shegetsbolderathome.Thisboldnessfirstshowsitselfinrudenessandthendefianceforyourauthority.

Is your teenager rude? Often parents ignore this rudeness, believing it to be normal behaviour for teens. This is not true.

Not all teenagers are rude to their parents. Many of them are best friends with their mothers. Although occasional fights are normal, rudeness and rebellious behaviour needs to be checked at the earliest.

Check rudeness firmly the first time it happens. If your young child is rude to you, let him know in no uncertain terms, that this is simply not acceptable. Although you would love to be a friend to your child, such friendship does not include rudeness. Similarly, you too should avoid being rude to your child.

Check insolence at every step

If one incident of rudeness slips by, your child will believe it is acceptable to speak in this manner. He then keeps pushing the boundaries, seeing how far you will take his cheek. Remember that your child is not deliberately trying to hurt you, but you may have unknowingly hurt him deeply when you denied something - even though it may be for his own good. This makes him want to lash out at you in the only way he can. If your child's desires are constantly ignored, it will be harder and harder for him to control his frustrations. Try being lenient with him in some matters, and intolerant of rudeness. If rudeness is left unchecked when your child is young, it is likely to spiral when your child reaches her teens - so check insolence at every step.

Don't underestimate peer influence

Peer pressure exerts its strongest influence on a teenager. At no stage in life is a person as vulnerable to the influences of his friends, as when he is in his teens. Support from friends is of prime importance. When you have a fight with your teen, she knows she can run to a friend and pour out her heart at being frustrated with your behaviour. Her friend will support her fully, and is likely to bring you down in the bargain.

Communicate with your teen

Other teenagers see their friends speaking to their parents rudely, and may try the same thing at home. It is important that you put a firm stop to it as soon as it begins. Try and do this without losing your temper or getting indignant at the way she just spoke to you. Ask her why she felt she needed to speak in such a rude manner. If you reason with your child and keep your cool, tempers need not be raised. Communication is very important. Always, always try and understand why she acts in a certain way, and what is going through her mind. And once you've clarified matters, be sure you let her know that no matter how angry she is, she cannot speak to you in a certain way. Let her realize that different families are different, and you are very different from her friends' parents. What is scary is some friends may really speak poorly about their parents for whatever reason, and your child could then get tempted to join in with her inputs! And when she finds this support with friends, she gets bolder at home. This boldness first shows itself in rudeness and then defiance for your authority.