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Teen Issues Topics..

 
You are here : home > Teen Issues > Teen Problems > Coping with Your Preteen

Coping with Your Preteen


Your preteen is just starting to discover her unique identity. Here are some tips to help cope with her newfound independence.


Teenage years can be a difficult time for any family. However, in today's world, children are beginning to assert their independence at a younger age. Your preteen (between the ages of 10 and 12) will now start to place greater emphasis on her friends and social life. At the same time, you are still an important part of her life. You are responsible for guiding her in her decisions, and supporting her when she makes them. She may not always express her needs but she still requires your love and affection. Here are some ways to strengthen the bond with your preteen.


Have Family Meals

During the day, members of your family are busy with their own tasks. It is likely that they do not even meet each other during the day. Make it a point to have a family dinner each day. This provides valuable quality time for you and your preteen. If possible, have your preteen help out in the kitchen or set the table. This will give you an opportunity to speak with your child and ask her about her day.

Dinner need not always be a home-cooked affair. Even if you are too tired to cook a meal, you can order something from a restaurant. However, make sure that the family sits down for dinner together. Switch off the television. This time is for family members talk to one another, which is not always possible at other times.

If your preteen's schedule is such that she cannot be present for a family dinner everyday, try to work around it. For example, you can schedule her free night as special family night. Try to have some games that everyone can join in. This helps to strengthen the bond between your preteen and you.


Stick to a Bedtime Routine

Preteens require a certain amount of sleep to keep them healthy and alert. Many parents make the mistake of not maintaining a bedtime routine for their preteen. As she grows older, she will want to stay up late to watch TV or complete school projects. Alternatively, she may want to go out for a late night party. As a parent, only you can decide a suitable bedtime for your child. While it is okay to allow your child to stay up late occasionally, do not let this become a regular occurrence.

It is a good idea to develop a consistent nightly routine with your preteen, before she goes to sleep. At this age, your child does not want you to tuck her in. However, this does not mean you cannot say goodnight in other ways like a simple hug or kiss. Set aside some time when you and your preteen can speak to her without any outside interruptions. Ask her what her plans are for the following day. If your teen does not want you to kiss her goodnight, you could still pat her on her shoulder or back.


Spend Quality Time with Her

At this stage of her life, your preteen will want to spend all her free time with her friends. To spend some time with her, find a way to include her in daily activities. Invite her to be a part of your daily jog. If you have a dog, ask your preteen to come along when you take the dog for a walk. Other activities include baking a cake, cleaning a room, watching a TV show, etc. Along with using these activities to enjoy each other's company, your preteen is likely to use them as a platform to speak her mind.

Your preteen tends to feel more comfortable in these situations. She may also be more inclined to mention if something is troubling her because she is focussed on another task. This way she does not have to make eye contact with you.


As your child grows, continue to take an active interest in her life. Always keep yourself up-to-date on your preteen's interests and decisions. If you let your child know you are always there for her, she will be encouraged to approach you when she needs help.

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6 Comments
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anika Bhoomiya.4 years ago
Agree with the viewpoints in the article....very well written
 
 
 
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Mehul.4 years ago
wonderful article....really informative and very helpful
 
 
 
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Simran.4 years ago
quite a relevant article...like it. great
 
 
 
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Discussion Forum - Recent Posts
Are children growing up faster nowadays? What are the other ways in which a parent can stay connected to her child? How much freedom do you give your preteen with regard to bedtime?
nija
Yes,do agree with Ashish.They hardly obey their parents, are into their own world. Even though parents spend time with them, they have their own opinions n this I have seen mostly in all the kids.The ...
Ashish
You are assuming that the kids will obey whatever you say. This is not true. Have you ever tried asking a twelve year old to go outside and buy something for the home? Ninety nine times out of hundred...
Vasantha
I think it depends on the parents to a large extent. We do not want to take the trouble of trying to get through to the child. I know of so many parents who would much rather let their children be tha...
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hello simba,
you should understand the teens never understand the thing ...
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you should handle teens very carefully and correct them cal ...
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yes it is very important to act properly when it comes to t ...
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as per my knowledge its better to act with your kid is like ...
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