That's right! Many mothers fear and hope that they are not neglecting their children, but few ever wonder if they are neglecting their friends. And even if they feel that they are not doing a great job keeping up with their friends, they shrug and say oh well, it can't be helped.
What about you Do you spend enough time with friends, or do you only spend whatever spare time you may have after you're done with your work, spouse and children if at all
Many of us are so caught up with our daily lives, that we often neglect one of the important people we have. No, not our children but our friends!
Strong friendships last forever
Don't underestimate the importance of friendship. Make it a point to stay in touch with friends, even if you can do so only over the telephone. Call up every now and again to find out if everything is all right, and to let your friends know that although you are busy, you still think of them and will be there for them if they ever need you. They are not rock bottom on your list of priorities.
Someone once said, children are transient in our lives. We have our own lives, and children pass through them. Most of us have lived anywhere between 20 to 40 years before we have our children. We have gone through high school, college, work, have struggled, lost, loved, lived, laughed, cried and have had dreams fulfilled and shattered, before we had our first child. Our children then come into our lives, live with us for around 20 years, and move on.
Often parents, especially mothers, put their entire lives on hold as they look after their children. But what we as mothers don't understand is that when these children leave to seek their own lives, we are suddenly left feeling incredibly empty and lost.
Your needs are important
Don't lose sight of yourself when looking after your children. Don't make yourself last on your list of priorities, because you are only making yourself more vulnerable and weaker. Also if you take good care of yourselves, your children will have a more fulfilled person for a mother, which is healthier for the family.
Yes, all parents make sacrifices for their children, but don't give it all up. If you gave up a career when you became a mother, but still love to work, find a part-time job. If you don't have time to spend 2 hours at the gym everyday, go for a quick jog two to three times a week. Even though you may need to give something up, make sure you hold on to something so you have an agenda of your own. Also, parents that have other interests tend to be less obsessed with every little aspect of their child's life. Their child grows up with more freedom to make decisions, and yet feels loved without feeling overwhelmed.
Assess your family situation
Naturally each family situation is different, and you need to decide for yourself what is important for you and your child. Is it important for you to be home when your child returns from school Or, maybe he takes a nap after returning from school, and you want to be home to help with his homework when he returns. Other mothers make it a point to have dinner with their children as often as possible, while yet others put them to sleep by reading them a story every night, and leave for a night out only after their children are asleep.
There is no right or wrong way to spend time with your children. As long as your children feel secure, loved and taken care of without feeling neglected, you're doing a great job.