You are Here : Home / Love and Relationships / Articles

How to be a good daughter-in-law


-by Editor



Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship have always been the topic of debate. Read on to know how to turn around the saas-bahu image.

Abhilasha shares a great relationship with her mother-in-law. Everyday after returning from office she shares what happened in the office with her mother-in-law. Her mother-in-law too tells her what she did throughout the day. Her mother-in-law misses her badly when Abhilasha goes to visit her mother's place. Abhilasha believes that her mom-in-law is her best friend. (Hard to digest, isn't it?)

You are already raising your eyebrow with surprise, are you not? We tend to follow the image of the monster mother-in-law as it is depicted in the saas-bahu serials and movies. But are we aware of some truths about the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship that are way too different from what we believe and experience.

Mother-in-law can be a good friend

If the words of Aristotle are to be believed that friend is a single soul dwelling in two bodies then befriending your mother-in-law can be the key to share a great relationship with her. Sharing ups and downs of your life with your mother-in-law would be a great start to boost the bonding.

To be a good daughter-in-law you should seek your mother-in-law's advice when you face hurdles, you should listen to her distresses, you should be able to be part of her happiness and sorrows and finally you should believe that a mother-in-law can be the best pal of her daughter-in-law.

Give respect, receive respect

Respect given is respect earned. Respect should be the base of any relationship no matter if it is a relation of a husband and wife, a mother and child or a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. To be a fantastic daughter-in-law giving respect is the important factor to enhance the relationship.

In Indian culture touching feet of the elders is considered highly respective. Apart from this, respect is all about trusting your mother-in-law, valuing her decisions and not doubting her instincts. Clashes are ought to happen in every relationship but overcoming them can be quite an achievement. Look at every doubt, issue or disagreement as a challenge and how you can work around that.

Be yourself

Do not be prejudiced. If you are going to visit your mother-in-law for the first time, remember that first impression is the last impression. The simple formula to nurture any relationship is putting forward your real self. 'Be yourself' and everything will be fine.

It is true that one should respect in-laws but one should also set some limits to their interference in your life. You should not tolerate domestic violence, harassment or physical or emotional abuse from any of your in-laws. If you are being the victim of such abuse then as a responsible citizen it is your duty to report it to the concerned person or women's cell.

Show affection

The Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is always perceived negatively. But if in-law relationships stumble, it is not necessary that it will be always a mother-in-law's fault. Have you ever told you mother-in-law that you really adore her? Have you ever complimented her for making tasty food?

Let your mother-in-law know that her presence in your life makes the ride worthwhile. Have you ever though about buying a gift for her on mother's day? Let your mother-in-law know that you care and feel concerned about her.

Secrets to be a good daughter-in-law

Understating daughter-in-law dos and don'ts may help you to handle in-law relationships. Where there are relationships there will be frictions. Sometimes you may not agree with another person's point of view, in such a situation you should learn to be calm.

  • Be optimistic. Do not form any preconceptions regarding your relationship with your mother-in-law.

  • Be respectful towards your mother-in-law.

  • Seek her advice when it is appropriate.

  • Agreeing to her whims every time may not be correct or even tough for you. Nevertheless you should respect her opinion and say what you feel.

  • Go out for a lunch, just the two of you or invite her for a lunch and prepare what she likes.

  • Get to know the positive aspects in her

  • Make her birthdays and anniversary special for her

  • Buy your mother-in-law gifts on special occasions
When you marry you are going to be someone's wife, someone's daughter-in-law and someone's sister-in-law. If you are not married you have the responsibility to make your fiance's mother believe in you. What say? At one moment you will be terrified of your mother-in-law and at next moment you might be giggling hearing the mischievous stories of your spouse's childhood from her. Give it a try, it is worth it!

What kind of a relationship do you share with your in-laws? Do you think mothers-in-law can be good friends? Do you agree with the image of a mother-in-law portrayed in the media? To share your views and experiences,click here.




(Please enter your correct email id to get notified when people comment on this article)
 
Change Image

Feedback on article

Name: trftr
City:   ade
Comments:   dsdd

Name: Arogya
City:   pune
Comments:   My mother in law is good and in fact she is extremely good. But goodness to the extremes also becomes troublesome. I complete all the work i can at home before going to office. My mother in law does the rest, but she exerts herself a lot. I respect her from the core of my heart for looking after my kids and that she does with lots of love, but the fact that she is exerting herself to save little sum of money, not eating healthy foods like fruits or dryfruits concerns me. Many times i blabber all these things in front of her, i tell her not to exert yourself with work to save money (like she will not use diaper for my 9 month son in the day time and keep washing his pants as soon as he wets them, she will fill in water in a container and wash the utensils so that water may be saved and the bill doesnt come much etc. I feel bad after saying things to her. I feel as if i am a bad daughter in law.

Name: Chinnu
City:   Bengaluru
Comments:   Hi every one, My mother in law is completely different from all the inlaws. She always bouther about her self.if she do any work that is very big work to her if I do any work it´s a at all a work. She wants all cosmetics what I will be using.she will waste money like anything and if i waste that is waste to her if she that is a good cause.she always tells lies for silly things also and she keep on telling I won´t tell any lie.cooking means if she cook anything that she will tell super if it is not good also if I prepare she gets loose motions.50years old woman behaves like a 16 years girl. Fond of money, gold, sarees always killing her kids to get this from them.she won´t take me to any functions she and my fil will go.I can´t eat what I wish, I can´t watch TV, I can´t go anywhere with my husband now don´t want to see my face also pls help me

Name: Shruthi
City:   Bangalore
Comments:   Hi every one, My mother in law is completely different from all the inlaws. She always bouther about her self.if she do any work that is very big work to her if I do any work it´s a at all a work. She wants all cosmetics what I will be using.she will waste money like anything and if i waste that is waste to her if she that is a good cause.she always tells lies for silly things also and she keep on telling I won´t tell any lie.cooking means if she cook anything that she will tell super if it is not good also if I prepare she gets loose motions.50years old woman behaves like a 16 years girl. Fond of money, gold, sarees always killing her kids to get this from them.she won´t take me to any functions she and my fil will go.I can´t eat what I wish, I can´t watch TV, I can´t go anywhere,my husband comes every Friday night and goes Monday morning to office Myself staying with my Mil with my 10 months old son. Guys help me to solve my problem

Name: snigdha shree subudhi
City:   rayagada
Comments:   Hy, I got lv mrg n nw staying wid my mil bt she does not talk wid me n dose nt lyk to see my face at all so wt should I do to get a healthy relationship wid my in laws??

Name: neha
City:   Chandigarh
Comments:   Hello all married women, I Agree that there is a fusion in our hindu culture regarding the MIL and DIL relationship. But on the other hand they should regard our feelings too. We dont do anything knowingly against them but its two way challege. And both the persons has to know that the situations can be handled only with discussions and compromise. At the end we are also human being and have feeling they should regard that and undersatnd they have crossed the same situation in their age too and coordinate with us becoz we are new to the their system. otherwise those MIL who dont understand the moral of the relationship it means their upbringing is like this only.

Name: ji
City:   hyderabad
Comments:   Me and my MIL shared a good relationship.my husband works abroad and i too came with my husband.suddenly i noticed a change in her behavior.she started tanting me on evrythng i asl her.if i choose to stop talking to her she will again think that am becoming rude or arrogant. I feel very bad when she taunts me.i used to do all the work when i was with her and now she tells i didnt knew anythng when i came to her home sje means that my mom didnt teach me anythng and she takes credit to herself that i know doing things correctly bcoz of her.totally fruatated with her behavior.she is so smart she doesnt taunt me in rude manner but indeed woth soft words the one who listens to might not think dat shez taunting me.

Name: 
City:  
Comments:  

Name: sunita
City:   ranchi
Comments:   My son and DIL live with me dil no any work at home and out door.my son go office 9.30 am return home at 7.30 pm my dil besy mobil laptop tv.a girl servent whole work at home dil badly words used her servent and divid and rule used my son and me she is not like me she is always folse complane in my son.when he hear complane 75% feber his wife.my son love me but some time hyper for me what are doing please help me and my family.

Name: sunita
City:   ranchi
Comments:   My son and DIL live with me dil no any work at home and out door.my son go office 9.30 am return home at 7.30 pm my dil besy mobil laptop tv.a girl servent whole work at home dil badly words used her servent and divid and rule used my son and me she is not like me she is always folse complane in my son.when he hear complane 75% feber his wife.my son love me but some time hyper for me what are doing please help me and my family.

More
(Please enter your correct email id to get notified when people comment on this article)
 
Change Image

If You Like This Article
Contributors