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Coping With Interfering Mother-In-Law


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Does your mother-in-law interfere too much in your married life? She must be just doing it for the betterment of you and your husband. You can take this interference as an advice from your mother-in-law as she is an elderly and experienced house maker. Just take this issue lightly so that you can deal with your interfering mother-in-law with an ease. Read more.


You must have heard that marriage is not with one person, it is with the entire family. This is because you become a part of that family and so everyone and their likes and dislikes, attitudes and behaviour affects and matters. There are very few in this world that are fortunate to have a very cooperating and loving in-laws. The main problem is that everyone has his or her expectations from the new bride or the groom and the same is the case with the newly wed couple also.

However, there are problems in every family. Smartness is to deal with specific problems intelligently so that the relationship is also not harmed. Here are some tips that can help you tackle with your over demanding, disapproving and interfering mother-in-law.


Tips to Deal with Interfering Mother-in-Law

Mother-in-law problems are obvious. It is a very difficult and challenging task to make your mother-in-law an ally, but you can try some of the tips and you will certainly get positive results.


Do not Involve your Husband

Never talk about this to your husband. Husbands most often do not understand this interference because his mother is an important and integral part of his life. Even if he notices the interference he will not mind it or understand your perspective.


Always Be Nice and Affectionate

Involve your mother-in-law in things that can be really helpful for her. Mother-in-laws feel extremely unsecured when their sons enjoy their lives with wives or girlfriends. Try to get your husband’s favourite recipes from her and make it whenever you get an opportunity. Once your husband likes your preparation, your work is done.


Avoid Arguing

Avoid arguing as much as you can. This will help you stay calmed down and also help you keep the family from getting disturbed. If you find that your mother-in-law is interfering too much and is extremely demanding, try to avoid some of the not so important works that she gives you. You can make the excuse of being tired or forgetting the one. But remember, this you should do afterwards. There is nothing wrong in telling lies when that is not going to harm anybody and is beneficial for you.


Consider the Interference as Advice

If your mother-in-law interferes in small matters and she is only giving you advices that can improve your life, accept and appreciate it. Do not be at dagger drawn with your mother-in-law always. After all she is your husband’s mother and you owe responsibility towards her too.


Give Importance

Give importance to your mother-in-law. Most often it is observed that mother-in-laws interfere and become demanding just to attract attention from others. This is normal human psychology. Probably she is feeling unsecured and so you should pay attention and give some importance to her too.

These tips will help you get positive results only when the interference is nominal and natural. If you are not so fortunate and have a mother-in-law who is not ready to go of her rein easily, you might have to take severe and strong steps. You can keep her off from your internal matters and when she is unaware of what is going on between you and your husband, she will probably not interfere.

You can also change your location and start living in some other place. In severe cases, you can change the city also. Extreme steps sometime become necessary for peace of mind and for harmony in life. However, if you decide to live somewhere else, make sure that you do not shun away from your responsibility of taking care of your mother-in-law by leaving her alone.


Do you live in a joint family with your in-laws? Is it correct to argue with an interfering mother-in-law? How to make mother-in-law understand not to interfere? To share your experiences, views, and tips, click here.


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Name: neha
City:   delhi
Comments:   I am married since 3 years. Though my husbands family is well educated and loving but few things are very disturbing. When I came after marriage they kept my clothes upstairs (newly made portion for me and my husband after marriage). But surprisingly my husbands clothes were downstairs. They expected to eat, sleep, live, watch TV downstairs. Except sleeping in all other activities my mother in law accompanied us. My husband was very cool with it. After fight for years I managed to keep my husbands clothes with me but still he wants me to sit with her mom all the time. His mother continuously comments between us, interferes and doesn´t give any space to us. When i discuss these things with my husband he always say you have problem with everything. I love my husband but staying at his home is really disturbing. I never felt his home as mine as its his mom house. I request if any MIL is reading this please give space to your son & DIL. If you are not then you will be reason of their separation.

Name: shaya
City:   maharashtra
Comments:   it´s even worse when ur mil wants u to be a typical dil, like if u r a homemaker cook meals like she do, expects u to hv no private life,

Name: Ritu
City:   New Delhi
Comments:   Life of girls in Indian culture is very challenging. Husband involvement is very necessary if it is going beyond control. My mother in law presents her to be a very nice mil. But behind me she defames my reputation and make me devil in front of neighbours and relatives. I was very innocent and was sharing with her everything but I came to know her clever side. I would suggest all the ladies to not to trust your in laws and share things with ur husband if he is understanding. And if u find no one to share with then pls share with your parents who still have the responsibility to make sure you r happy. It´s sad that women in Indian culture has to face so many difficulties in the house and the society both. Never feel that your parents will get stressed if you share things with them rather they will provide u with good advice.

Name: lefetye
City:   Sanaa
Comments:  

Name: Abc
City:   Ahmedabad
Comments:   This article is very harmful & totally wrong.. Do not follow this.

Name: Sreedevi Jagannath
City:   BANGALORE
Comments:   I think that this article largely is a typical Indian attitude, where "pathi parameshwar" makes sense. Not involving the husband is essentially giving him a gate pass to sit back and enjoy the show. The attitude here is as if it is the girl´s responsibility to ingratiate herself in the family, whereas, it should be the responsibility of both the husband and wife to work this out. Sorry, but this article seems more harmful than helpful.

Name: lakshmi
City:   bangalore
Comments:   Very good article. Not involving husband is very important. Your husband should know what is happening, but it should not be like a serial epiode that you start narrating at once he come home. Spend time together. Avoid talking house fight matter everyday. Talk nice things. Ask him about his office and tell appositive and funny things about your day. This will make your relationship strong. After a week, when the episode has faded away, tell him this happened. After all it is his mother, and none of us like when people complain about our mothers everyday. Even if someone from our immediate family has done something wrong, we will be angry only for few days, later, when our memory reminds us of all the good times we had, we tend to forgive and forget the sad things. That is when we start hating people who told bad things about the person. Hence, avoid telling bad things about ur MIL to your husband.

Name: Shweta
City:   Hyderabad
Comments:   Please help me how to deal with my motherinlaw i got married recently almost 1yr. My motherinlaw is taking all my new Sari , Suits, dresses ,and giving it to my sisterinlaw as she has to attend wedding I dont want to share my stuffs but I cant say NO to her...my sisterinlaw is wearing my clothes also she not talks to me but my motherinlaw gives my dreesses to her. Please help me out what I do how to say her NO so that shhe not feel bad too...

Name: sweety
City:   agra
Comments:   i dont think this article is true....by not involving husband and allowing things to happen wil only throw me into depression. Accepting ideas from mil is definitly a good thing....but if she is bossy, ordering things, talks to my husbamd secretly when i am away....such things irritate me.....when i talk gently..all she does is yell....i dont understand why she wantd her son to marry in the first place...if he was a bachelor, she could hVE taken decisions for him for the rest of her life...

Name: sweety
City:   agra
Comments:   i dont think this article is true....by not involving husband and allowing things to happen wil only throw me into depression. Accepting ideas from mil is definitly a good thing....but if she is bossy, ordering things,

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