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Only
child or lonely child?
Tips for parenting the single
child.
In this day and age of nuclear, double
income families, not many couples choose to have more than one child. The
reasons range from lack of space, money or resources to lack of time. Fortunately,
the old theory of the only-lonely child is gradually changing. As many
couples opt for a single offspring, parenting a single child is not looked
upon as a special responsibility. Here are tips for parents to effectively
raise a single child.
Focus your attention
View your single child as an advantage,
mainly because your attention and concern need not be evenly divided between
two or more children. You can spend all the quality time you have on raising
a single individual into a responsible adult. You can concentrate all your
resources and parenting potential on one person.
Do not shower
gifts, but time
Resources does not only mean money.
It includes time, attention, love and caring. Therefore, do not ever overindulge
your child by using material means, as this will spoil the young one. For
instance, do not shower him with excessive pocket money, fancy birthday
bashes or costly gifts. Affluence will give a wrong signal to the child.
He or she will not be able to face life in the true spirit. Instead, use
your resources intelligently. To give another example, you can appoint
a house helper for the daily cleaning and thereby spend more time with
your child. Be your child's best friend - someone he can always approach
for help, advice or play.
Keep your child
busy
The modern world has opened many
avenues for children. There are numerous classes dealing with every discipline
under the sun, ranging from theatre to astronomy to karate to painting.
Consider your child's aptitude when selecting a hobby class for him. Apart
from the regular school curriculum, you must encourage your child to participate
in sports, indoor games and most importantly, to socialise and build a
friend's circle. Open as many windows of communication as you can, so your
child doesn't feel the lack of a sibling.
Books, TV and
other sources of entertainment
Introduce your child to literature.
Books can be long lasting friends. If your son develops an interest in
French, encourage him to pursue it. Language and literature is the stepping-stone
towards understanding any culture. Let your child watch television and
surf the net for a limited time everyday. An educational programme on television
does not harm. You will of course have to monitor your child's TV watching.
Expand your family
of friends
Inculcate caring and sharing values
in your little one. Teach your child the significance of lasting friendships.
Even parents have to learn the importance of increasing the size of their
circle of friends.
Never feel guilty
about having a single child
Opting for a single child is a personal
decision. No one, not even close relatives, should make you feel guilty
about this aspect. Take the example of this mother who was questioned about
her son's behaviour by a neighbour. The neighbor asked, "Is your son a
problem child because he does not have company at home?" The mother confidently
retorted, "If company made well-behaved children, most mothers in this
locality would not have been summoned to their children's schools every
successive month." Parents with a single child need not be apologetic.
Don't suffocate
your child with attention
Very often single children tend to
be the total focus of attention of parents, especially non-working mothers.
It is important that mothers get an interest apart from the child, so she
does not try and live her child's life for him. It is vital to give your
child space and independence. A balance is very important.
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