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Are you a single parent?
Parenting is undoubtedly a major
responsibility, more so when the mantle falls on a single parent. A single
parent has to bear with added responsibilities, tensions and pressures.
Either due to separation, divorce or death of a spouse, a single parent
is left alone to deal with multiple tasks. But that should not make a single
parent's life very bleak. There are always meaningful ways to overcome
the initial apprehensions about single parenting. Let us see what exactly
a single parent must face and how.
RESPONSIBILITY If you are a single parent, you have
to take care of all the physical and emotional needs of your child. Right
from personal hygiene, dietary habits, school work, punctuality and peer
group. You can partially share this responsibility with the child's grandparents
or a trusted friend or even a loyal maidservant. But you are ultimately
responsible at the end of the day. Never regret this responsibility. Always
take refreshing breaks from the routine and come back fresh with new ideas
to groom your child better.
DECISION MAKING Confide in your trusted relatives
while taking important decisions concerning your child's future, be it
education or hostel accommodation or foreign travel. You will be surprised
about the fact that there are people offering unbiased advice. If you are
on talking terms with your ex-spouse (now separated), consult him or her
on major occasions. Let the child also meet the separated parent. But if
this adds to the complications, take the decisions on your own.
SUBSTITUTE PARENTING A single parent has to take the place
of the missing parent. You should offer a healthy wholesome human
being as a parent. As far as possible, never let your bitterness, bad experiences,
annoyance and anger, infect your child's psyche. Be frank with the child.
Make him or her your companion. Never ever poison the child's mind against
the separated spouse. And make the child realize the importance of friendships
and lasting human relationships.
YOUR OWN HEALTH Remember that you are not only a
parent, but a human being as well. It is very easy to get carried away
and try to do everything for your child yourself, without taking any outside
help. But you are bound to get tired and frustrated and you may start taking
out these emotions on your child. So it is equally important to look after
your own needs in terms of having a healthy social life. If you are working,
you must come home feeling healthy and happy. Try to spread your responsibility
or else you may spend quantity time rather than quality time with your
child. For example, never feel guilty while employing a housemaid or a
cooking help.
PEER PRESURE AND ITS IMPACT ON YOUR CHILD Imagine your child on Parent's Day
at the school. Prepare yourself and your child for such situations. Talk
about these problems. Never let such issues spoil you child's fun. Give
the child an added ability to cope with uncomfortable questions from his
friends. Tell the child to never hide the fact that he or she has a single
parent. Of course, that does not mean that the child volunteers this information.
But let the issue of single parenting not be a shameful secret. Or else,
the child will turn hypersensitive and withdrawn. Never let your child
develop any personality disorder. You should take the initiative from the
initial years. As is said, attitude is everything. Therefore, if you don't
indulge in bouts of self-pity and depression, single parenting will not
unsettle your child.
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