Parents should avoid making fake promises because this habit makes children distrust their parents. Read to know about the reasons why parents should not make fake promises.
It is very important to pay attention to what you say in front of your children especially when you talk directly to them. Parents make promises for different reasons. Often it is to bribe the children and make them do what parents want or to avoid a possible argument with the child. Sometimes parents make promises to make their children be hopeful and sometimes it is just to save them from disappointment.
When it comes to promises, children do not forget easily. Experts believe that if you break promises with your children, you break the trust you developed in them.
Reasons Why Parents Should Avoid Breaking Promises
Have quick look at the 5 reasons why parents should avoid breaking promises.
1. Develops Feeling of Disappointment
Even though you made a promise to save your children from disappointment, breaking it would disappoint them and this time, the reason would be you. This will make them sad and perhaps they would not be able to forget that in their life as well.
2. Develops a Sense of Distrust
It is quite natural that your children keep your words and trusts you completely. If they come to know that you made fake promise or you did not keep your promise, they will start distrusting you. It can lead to different extents depending on how frequent you make fake promises.
3. Children Start Disrespecting Parents
Integrity leads to respect and if you do not keep your word, you lose it. Eventually your children will be unable to feel respect for you.
4. Makes Children Feel Unimportant
When children find that their parents did not keep a promise and the reason they get is that they forgot, they feel very depressed and unwanted. They feel that their importance in their parent’s life is negligible. On the other hand if you keep your promise your children will get the message that they are important for you.
5. Children Learn That it is Alright to Break Promises
This is the worst result that you get if you make fake promises or break your promises. If your children find that you make fake promises and you are cool with it, they will think that making promises does not always mean to be fulfilled.
What Parents Should Do?
Do not make promise just to avoid the situation. Instead, you should be meaningful when making promise. Avoid using the word ‘promise’ lightly. Give them concrete reason and clause when assuring them something.
If you break a promise it should be for a proper reason and you should explain that to your child. Explain them that we have to live with disappointments at times. Your child will understand that not keeping the promise was due to a concrete reason and it was not because you forgot.
In case you broke the promise because you were very busy and it slipped out of your mind, you should apologize and try to compensate for your child’s disappointment. Spend some time with her and explain the reason and your situation. So, it is good not to make fake promises, but even if you happen to break a promise, you should be there to support your child. Children love their parents a lot and if they find that there was a genuine reason, they will not even feel sad about it. And above all, this will teach them to deal with other bigger broken promises, if they have to face in life later. They will be strong enough to deal with disappointments in life on their own.
What are the effects of breaking promises on children? Why should parents avoid making fake promises? What should parents do on breaking promises? Discuss here.
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- The Indiaparenting Team