Parents spend a lot of time talking to kids and often realise that they are not even listening. In fact, during heated moments it becomes really difficult to find a way to stop the fight. Read on to learn the positive ways to talk to kids so that they listen and you avoid power struggle.Parenting is one of the most challenging tasks in life, undoubtedly. In order to protect or raise disciplined children, some parents opt for authoritarian
parenting which leaves children having no independent voice in their own home. Some parents overcompensate and are overly permissive giving children a plenty of options to get spoilt.
Well, both the strategies of parenting are extremes and not good for the right development and growth of children. There has to be a balance maintained and that too in a manner which is healthy and acceptable. So, there is a need to learn
how to talk to your children because the way you will talk to them will teach them how to talk to others. They way you talk to your children will also determine whether they will listen to you or not and how they respond.
How to Talk to Kids so That They Listen
Here are the ways which parents should follow while talking to kids.
1. Make Use of Positive Language
No one likes to hear in a negative tone, especially the kids. Avoid saying “no” or “don’t” and instead use straight but positive instructions and directions for your kids. If you use positive and kind words and make your tone loving, children will feel confident, loved and special. This will make them do whatever you ask them to do without any hesitation. Also, they will listen to what you want to say and understand you better as well.
Before you give instructions, kneel down to your child’s level, make eye contact and make sure she is paying attention to you. If you are doing this the first time,
have patience because your child will get used to this in some time.
3. Call Your Child’s Name Before You Talk
If you call your child by her name, you will get her attention and your message will be delivered more effectively. It is advisable to stop for some response from your child, so that you are sure she is listening to you.
4. Keep the Message Straight and Simple
It is very important for you to remember that kids are yet kids. They will not understand any hidden message or your taunt. Try to be simple and convey your message in straightforward way. Also, avoid giving too many directions at a time especially when they are small kids. Make sure your message is clear to your child and she is in no way confused.
5. Offer Choices and Alternatives Where Possible
When you want your kids to listen to you, you should suggest options and choices to them. You can explain things and situation to them so that they understand why you want them to follow directions. Alternatives in a positive tone will help kids understand better than saying a direct “no” or “don’t”.
6. Avoid Nagging
Nagging happens when kids do not listen to what you say. So, instead of nagging put a work chart in your child’s room and show it to her. The daily work that is expected from her should be completed within a time frame and this should be clearly mentioned in the chart. Make sure you make the chart age-appropriate and consider your child’s playing and relaxing time as well. It is important to be realistic in your expectations.
7. Give an Offer Your Kid Cannot Refuse
When you want your child to complete something, you should give an offer that she cannot refuse. Make sure the offer is for child’s benefit and not in any way spoiling her.
8. If You Expect Good Manners, Be a Role Model
Children follow their parents in every way. So,
good manners should not be something that is expected only from children. Also, teach your child to say simple words of antiquate before she learns to talk and this you can do by applying them in your own day-to-day
behaviour.
9. Be Calm and Yet, Firm
If you have taken a decision and conveyed it to your child, you should stick to it. Discuss with your partner on the matter and make sure you both agree to the decision. This will save your child from playing one parent against another and she will know that once the decision is made, it is made.
10. Be Open for Discussion
When your children are growing it becomes very important that you know what they think and what is their opinion. Avoid giving instructions that always appear to be final. Let your children think more and open up their minds. Let them share their feelings and notions.
11. Be Considerate
Talk to your kids just like you talk to your friends or anyone else. This will help you have control on your tone and will save any kind of heated issues.
12. Accept Your Children as They Are
Every child is different and has different positive and negative points. Accept each of your children as they are and love each one of them despite of the differences. This will make them more likely to share their feelings and thoughts.
Always remember that open and comfortable communication with your kids will help develop self-confidence in them and they will have good relationship with others too along with having a good bonding with you. Nurture your talking skills each time you talk to your kids and listen to what they say to maintain a healthy and strong relationship.
Why do some kids never listen to parents? How to talk to kids so that they listen? How to make kids listen without yelling or screaming at them? Discuss here.
