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Manners and Discipline Topics..

 
You are here : home > Manners and Discipline > Disciplining Children > Join the Debate

Join the Debate

Join the Debate

"Spare the rod and spoil the child." Do you believe this statement? Hop aboard and tell us what you think.
Many parents believe they need to be firm with their children in order to discipline them, and this firmness often extends to raising a hand.
At times, spanking children is completely justified, feels Maya, mother of 7-year-old Rehan. "When I was around ten years old, I yelled out a bad word I had heard the older kids in my building say. My father was in the room, and he slapped me hard, warning me never to say the word again. I was stunned, as he rarely ever hit me. I understood the magnitude of my offence, and never repeated the word for a long time after that."
If you spank your child very rarely, then on the few occasions you do hit him, he is likely to realize he crossed the line. But if you spank him often, then another beating will not really affect him, and will hold the same weight as a good yelling, feel some people.
You should hit your child only for very serious offences, and not otherwise, feel some.
Others believe it is wrong to hit your child, period. No matter what he does, nothing is so bad that requires corporal punishment. Even if you spank your child very rarely, he is likely to remember at least some occasions the rest of his life.
Children that receive spankings on a regular basis could grow up to be more defiant, or such spankings may seriously hamper their self-esteem. "Not true," says Roshni. "A spanking every now and again shows a child who's the boss, and children are likely to be more obedient and respectful to their parents if they are kept in line."
83-year-old Shanta feels that the present generation is too soft. A few generations ago parents thought nothing of hitting their children. Yes, they loved them, but also believed children need to be disciplined and molded, and hitting them is necessary. Yet children respected parents tremendously, and would gladly devote their lives serving them. The elderly weren't sent off to old age homes in droves as they are now.
Are these 'new fangled' parenting ideas all nonsense? For generations Indians have thrived on strong family ties, and our older generation must be doing something right. Hit your child if he disrespects you or if he does wrong, but also shower him with endless love. Always be there for your child and make all the sacrifices you can. In turn, your child will also be there for you.
But then again, perhaps old-fashioned ideals worked in older times. In today's competitive world where confidence and self-esteem determine success and when children are forced to undergo pressures our grandparents never faced, don't the rules of upbringing need evolving?



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sharri
sharri.14 years ago
i don`t believe that parents should hit thier child but if they must do it,they should hit them on thier butts only and not thier faces,they should hit them only to the age of 5,i told my friends in highschool when i was 17,i`m now 21 that my mom beat me with the belt before,they say that`s abuse. when we are in an argument she always says i`ll slap you or something which is abusive.i didn`t stand up in a christian church b/c they weren`t saying a christian song.my mom said i should of get up and i said that i`m 20 years old and that i should make my own choices,i heard she tell someone on the phone what i said and she also tell them well i`ll give her 20 boxes as a joke or something, she hit me on the hand a month ago so i hit her back and she said that she won`t hit me again b/c i`could go to hell for hitting her back,but i want respect in another way, always tell her don`t try to hit me.the way she displine me and my sister for years seems like abuse.i remember the day that my sister and her were rolling on the bed fighting, my younger sister was 17 ,and my mother said you think you are a women so i`ll treat you like a women do you think that`s disapline?my mother said they way she displine us isn``t abuse ,and she think she`s right she doesn`t understand why i have a grudge towards her.should kids be in fear? in highschool and even now i always have to be on guard if she`ll hit me for something she does not agree with. opinions please
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rita
rita.14 years ago
i think once in a while its ok to hit your child, but very rarely. as long as u shower ur child with love most of the time, light spanking to discipline him will not hurt.
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Hanna
Hanna.14 years ago
i am a montessori teacher as well a mother myself. i don't think it is a good idea to hit your children because it is not good for them and it is not good for your relationship with your children if they live in fear. we want our children to be open with us and be able to confide in us and seek advise, if they grow up with fear they will never be able to have an open relationship. children can drive you up the wall and with busy lifestyles we as parents can get frustrated but i still think it is not good to hit your child.

for e.g. in this article the author says that her father hit her for using a bad word she had heard and tries to repeat. it was not necessary, if the father had just told her assertively that is a bad word and we don't speak like that the child would not have repeated it again. children are much more intelligent and good at remembering things than we adults think! that's just my 2 cents.
 
 
 
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sumi
sumi.14 years ago
the parent should never ever hit the child and love could do all the work..evan after reaching the age of 25 your kid should be able to share anything with you and should be ready to get suggestions and advice from you....you must tell him\her what is right and wrong.....this will not happen if the kid is in fear of telling you anything wrong..never ever hit the child
 
 
 
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Tony S
Tony S.14 years ago
spanking once in a while needs to be done in order to discipline the child otherwise they will sit on the parents' heads..... but u need to define this 'once in a while' timing !
 
 
 
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Kinnary
Kinnary.14 years ago
i feel that every relationship has its own limits and bounds. the only relationship which is not based on any give and take is that of a parent and a child. at the root of every problem and the solution that we as adults think is perfect, there is some reasoning involved. especially with children whose sense of self importance, self respect, self confidence is still on a very thin thread, it is extremely important that we stop and think how our each and every action is going to affect our child. i feel hitting the child is not going to achieve anything more than guilt for us and temper tantrums all around. reason works best with children. they are assured and confident that their parents are willing to listen and weigh all that they have to say. in the long run it will teach them to deal with a lot of situations that life throws their way with responsibility and maturity.
 
 
 
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sweety
sweety.14 years ago
i do not think by hitting we can teach discipline to a child. if we hit often they do not understand the meaning behind it. my parents hit me only 3 times in my childhood but i still remember why they hit me and i never did that mistake again in my whole life. so according to me we should never hit a child unless otherwise there is a serious issue.
 
 
 
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no hitting
no hitting.14 years ago
in singapore corpral punishmentt means that the offender is caned . the bumber of strokes varying directly with the seriousness of the offence. i as a parent living in such a society have made a resoultion never to hit my two yer old son . whatever my son does is only a very petty crime when compared to what a criminal does . so ehy should i treat him like a criminal when he dosent even understand what one is ? . both me and my husband recall being spanked when we were little and regret the reasons for them. however i see that many people yell at their kids = put them in the court when they do domething wrong. kids may be naughty , but they vertianlly donot have a criminal mind
 
 
 
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Mrudula
Mrudula.14 years ago
hitting the child rarely is good way of disciplining him. if you hit him every now and then, the value and seriousness of the punishment decreases.
 
 
 
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hol
hol.14 years ago
i think your mum loves you dearly,however she had no right to treat you and your sister like that.that is abuse.it sounds to me that your dad hasnt been around, and your mum has had a tough time?i think maybe shes lonley and stressed,try talking to her,or when i want someone ot know somehing,but they wont let you speak,try writing her a letter,saying what she does that makes you feel the way you do,and what you feel.
 
 
 
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