Register | Login
Login
Sign in with:
---------- OR ----------
Create Account | Login
Create account
As a Member You Can:
  • Join clubs to discuss your interests
  • Connect with people like you
  • Share information, seek advice, get support

   
parenting
in Mumbai (change city)
Select City
  • All
  • Delhi
  • New Delhi
  • Gurgaon
  • Noida
  • Mumbai
  • Pune
  • Banglore
  • Hyderabad
  • Ghaziabad
  • Chandigarh
  • Ahmedabad
  • Kolkata
  • Chennai
  • Coimbatore
  • Jaipur
select‌ stage
 
Raising Children Topics..

 
You are here : home > Raising Children > Parental Relationships > Building Individual Relationships

Building Individual Relationships

Building Individual Relationships

Parents can have different opinions on the same topic but showing this indifference to the child will harm him. A child is a good manipulator and he can easily manipulate a parent if he knows that a difference exists between their thinking. Here are some tips to strike a good balance.

It is very natural for parents to have different views on child rearing. Sometimes the mother may be too strict while the father is lenient. Other times the father may believe in spanking a child who misbehaves while the mother strongly opposes this. So how would two parents, with completely opposing points of view, come to an agreement?

Respect

Parents don't have to come to an agreement. It's alright to have different views. However, it is important to respect your partner's right to his or her own stance on child rearing. Don't try and impose your opinions on your partner. If you believe hitting a child is wrong, then don't hit your child, but don't stop your partner from doing so.

Permission

Very often when children don't get permission from one parent, they rush to the other. In such a case it is important not to overrule a decision once made. If your partner has denied permission and your child comes wailing to you, ask your child to sit back and reflect on why she thinks she has not got permission, and what she can do in the future to ensure she gets it.

Playing parents against each other

If you take the side of your child against the other parent, your child will start playing you and your partner against each other. This will give the child the feeling that one partner is stronger than the other in the relationship, and will take, what she perceives to be the 'weaker' partner, for granted. Your child will not hesitate in running to you and saying "Mommy slapped me!" and then will sit back and take in the scene as you rush to her defense by berating mommy.

Individual relationships

Your child has an individual relationship with each parent, and the other parent should not interfere in such a relationship. In addition, parents have to respect children's individual relationships with not just the other parent, but also with friends and other relatives. If granny spoils your child, there's really nothing you can do about it. At worst, your child will learn to take granny for granted. But if granny says to you, "Okay, stop shouting at her now! Enough!" and to your child, "Come here sweety, granny will give you a cookie," - that constitutes granny interfering in your individual relationship with your child. Behaviour like this should be put at an end to immediately.

Similarly, with friends…

If your child comes running to you because she has had a fight with her friends, don't rush in and fight her battles. If you feel the fight was very serious and warrants interfering, you could have a word with the parent of the other child in question.

In conclusion

Let your child form her own relationships with others. If she has a fight with her friends, she will learn to resolve it herself. If neither parent takes her side against each other, she will learn to respect both parents. If she gets teased at school, she will learn that life is not fair. But what is important is that she will learn to cope - without your help.




Cancel
Save Edit
parenting
Notifications
6 Comments
Sort by Newest

avatar

Prakash Gaitunde
Prakash Gaitunde.11 years ago
very nice article. Parents are role models for children. any conflict or disagreements between parents may lead to behaviour problems in kids.
 
 
 
.
Reply
Malaika Kesh
Malaika Kesh.11 years ago
very true Parasi, we must never disagree in front of kids. They can emotionally take the situation to their advantage. This will also lead to behaviour problems in future.
 
 
 
.
Reply
Parasi Mishra
Parasi Mishra.11 years ago
Me and my husband try not to disagree or show conflict in front of our son as this will give wrong signals. We try to agree and disagree only behind him. If we tend to disagree in front of him, then he will get confused and also take this to his own advantage.
 
 
 
.
Reply
Back to Previous Page   |   More on Raising Children Index

 






Discussion Forum - Recent Posts
It is very natural for parents to have different views on child rearing. Sometimes the mother may be too strict while the father is lenient. Other times the father may believe in spanking a child who misbehaves while the mother strongly opposes this. So how would two parents, with completely opposing points of view, come to an agreement? Permission Very often when children don't get permission from one parent, they rush to the other. In such a case it is important not to overrule a decision once made. If your partner has denied permission and your child comes wailing to you, ask your child to sit back and reflect on why she thinks she has not got permission, and what she can do in the future to ensure she gets it. Similarly, with friends If your child comes running to you because she has had a fight with her friends, don't rush in and fight her battles. If you feel the fight was very serious and warrants interfering, you could have a word with the parent of the other child in question.
view more >>
DISCUSSION FORUMS ON
Articles
RE:Lessons From Children
hello editor,
sometimes its right, and sometimes its wrong also, childre ...
- anudas    read >>

RE:Lessons From Children
hello editor,
the adult definitely learn lots of things from kids, and n ...
- ajinkya    read >>

RE:Lessons From Children
hello editor,
kids are very innocent and they dont know who is smart per ...
- niraja    read >>

RE:Lessons From Children
hello editor,
sometimes its right to say we adult learn from childrens a ...
- umesh    read >>

FEATURED ARTICLES
- Poor Immunity in Kids
- Five Fun Ways to Break Fussy Eating Habits in   Kids
- Top 5 Easy-to-Make Ice-Candy Recipes for Kids
- Tips for Preventing Pinworms in Children
- Signs that a Child is Anaemic
- Things You Should Never Allow Your Son to Do
- Home Remedies for Cold in Children
- Reasons Why Kids May Start Disrespecting   Parents
- Indian Baby Names
- Indian Baby Girl Names
- Indian Baby Boy Names
- Top 100 Hindu Baby Names
- Free Printable Coloring Pages for Kids and Adults


Subscribe




All tips on Parental Relationships
You ever wanted in one place.
No need to go anywhere else. No spam.

*No spam only genuine emails
Follow us on:



Featured Articles - Infertility | Baby Development | Health and Fitness | How to Get Pregnant | Parenting Advice | Weight Loss | Pregnancy Advice | Name Numerology
Baby - Baby Photo Contest | Lucky Names | Lucky Birthdates | Horoscopes | Chinese Calendar | Compatibility Test | Fun Zone
Parenting - Message Boards | Planning a Baby | Pregnancy | Parents of Babies | Baby Names | Baby Name Poll | Birth Announcements | Parenting Quiz
Family - Cooking Club | Love & Relationships | Beauty Tips | Kids Weight Calculator | Recipe Maker
General - Calorie Counter | Personality Quiz | Love Signs | Compatibility Quiz
ASK A QUESTION
Hi Friends Just joined the community and wanted to share my experience with getting children to r...
ASK NOW !