Register | Login
Login
Sign in with:
---------- OR ----------
Create Account | Login
Create account
As a Member You Can:
  • Join clubs to discuss your interests
  • Connect with people like you
  • Share information, seek advice, get support

   
parenting
in Mumbai (change city)
Select City
  • All
  • Delhi
  • New Delhi
  • Gurgaon
  • Noida
  • Mumbai
  • Pune
  • Banglore
  • Hyderabad
  • Ghaziabad
  • Chandigarh
  • Ahmedabad
  • Kolkata
  • Chennai
  • Coimbatore
  • Jaipur
 
Raising Children Topics..

 
You are here : home > Raising Children > Parental Dilemmas > Choose How You Parent

Choose How You Parent

- Gary Direnfeld

Parenting comes naturally and it is also affected by past experiences. Concerns are normal but extreme concerns requires talking it out of the mind. Changing oneself with the changing times improves parenting skills.


Parenting skills are generally learned through our early life experiences with our own caregivers. This process is called "role modeling". In most instances the role model is mom and dad, but in many other instances, the role model could be a grandparent, foster parent, friend of the family or other guardian. Throughout these early life experiences most persons learn healthy and adaptive ways to raise children. However, for some, their own upbringing may have included issues arising out of violence, abuse, neglect or other forms of dysfunction that interfere with their own ability to parent today. 

Given poor experiences from one's past, it can be a challenge for some persons to parent in such a way so as not to re-create the familiar. In other words, it can be difficult to parent differently from how you were parented, so what happened to you doesn't happen to your children. Some persons who have had poor childhood experiences are concerned about their parenting skills. Even some persons with good childhood experiences have concerns too.

The road to better parenting or parenting differently from what you experienced begins with the process of self-discovery. If in your past, you had experiences related to abuse, violence, neglect or other forms of family dysfunction or you are just concerned, consider consulting a social worker or finding books pertaining to your childhood experience to learn how your early experiences can affect adult life and your parenting. Talking with a social worker or reading books helps to hold a mirror to oneself to more fully and deeply examine where we come from to determine who we are and how we act. 

With this deeper understanding of our self, we are then better equipped to recognize how what we learned may affect our current parenting behaviour. Then we are able to contrast our behaviour with what children really need for healthy development. If there is a discrepancy between what we now realize we are doing and what is actually best for children, there are steps we can take to improve matters.

The next steps involve shedding the old patterns of parenting behaviours in favour of adopting new parenting skills. Even though we may not like our past experiences, they are familiar and in a sense, comfortable. As such we need reminders, support and information both for what not to do but also for help with what to do. Strategies to help be a better parent can come in several different forms and include everything from reading books, to notes on the refrigerator door, to counseling, to support groups, to parenting classes. 

Along the way, you may want to consider adopting a new role model. If your role models weren't healthy, think of someone else, whose parenting abilities you admire. This could be a friend's parent, a fictional character from a book or even a television personality. The objective here is to pick someone who you know parents well. Then, when you are stuck and wonder what to do, you can think of what that person would do in your situation. This is a nice way to take care of yourself and your children.

Choose your role model and how you want to parent to be the kind of parent your child would choose.

To see other article by Gary Direnfeld or contact him: click here

 

You may also be interested in:

Poor Immunity in Kids
(32214 views)
Fussy Eating Habits
(21214 views)
Living Together
(15954 views)
Parenting Gays
(14142 views)
Role of Grandparents
(87617 views)
Cancel
Save Edit
parenting
Notifications
7 Comments
Sort by Newest

Seema.7 years ago
i for one parent quite the same as my own mother did. i'm firm but relaxed and deal head on with all that comes my way.
 
 
 
.
Reply
Sheetal.7 years ago
nice article.books are our good friends and show us the proper way in all the respects.
 
 
 
.
Reply
Sheetal.7 years ago
nice article.books are our good friends and show us the proper way in all the respects.
 
 
 
.
Reply
Mrs. Anita Sharma.7 years ago
i liked your article.i would further like to know about how can we inculcate good habbits in children and what is the actual role played by parents as well as teacher in a child's life.
 
 
 
.
Reply
Back to Previous Page   |   More on Raising Children Index

 
 
Discussion Forum - Recent Posts
Are you a role model to your child? What do you think of your parenting style? Do you think you are a good parent?
view more >>
DISCUSSION FORUMS ON
Raising Children
RE:Good Maid agency
Hello dear according to me you should not hire maid from an agency because ... - Anita    read >>

RE:Good Maid agency
hello dear this is very simple and you can select from google by just putti ... - Anaida    read >>

RE:Good Maid agency
Hi there if you are really looking for a maid in gurgaon area then please c ... - Anu    read >>

RE:Good Maid agency
Hello dear if you are really looking for a change then please tell me and i ... - Anushree    read >>



All tips on Parental Dilemmas
You ever wanted in one place.
No need to go anywhere else. No spam.

*No spam only genuine emails
Follow us on:




Featured Articles - Infertility | Baby Development | Health and Fitness | How to Get Pregnant | Parenting Advice | Weight Loss | Pregnancy Advice | Name Numerology
Baby - Baby Photo Contest | Lucky Names | Lucky Birthdates | Horoscopes | Chinese Calendar | Compatibility Test | Fun Zone
Parenting - Message Boards | Planning a Baby | Pregnancy | Parents of Babies | Baby Names | Baby Name Poll | Birth Announcements | Parenting Quiz
Family - Cooking Club | Love & Relationships | Beauty Tips | Kids Weight Calculator | Recipe Maker
General - Calorie Counter | Personality Quiz | Love Signs | Compatibility Quiz
Home | Site Map | Privacy Policy | Comments or Suggestions | Indiaparenting News Articles | Contact Us | Advertise with Us | | RSS
Copyright (c) 1999 - 2017 India Parenting Pvt. Ltd.

ASK A QUESTION
What kind of punishments should be avoided by parents? How to punish kids when they make mistakes? W...
ASK NOW !