Working mothers have always a guilty feeling for leaving their children behind. A woman who wants to work after her motherhood is in a dilemma whether to work or be a stay at home mum. Read on to know the dilemma of a working mother.
I am a bit of a feminist, have always been. My friends at college used to tease me that if I ever had a baby boy, I would send him shopping for vegetables when he's still in the pram!!!
Jokes apart, I do feel strongly about treating sons and daughters equally, giving them equal opportunities for growth and development, training them both in domestic chores and making them self-sufficient. The freedom of choice is all-important to me, though I do realise that 'choice' in the adult world is a very complicated issue, affecting all those whom you love and care for. My only grouse is that it just gets that much more complicated if you are a girl.
And no, I did not have a boy. I have a beautiful baby girl who I absolutely dote on. Every parent knows how labour-intensive it is to take care of infants and yet every baby makes it worthwhile with her innocent smiles, inimitable babble and all the mischief she gets into (otherwise none of us would have siblings!).
To work or not to work
Well, the issue I have been pondering over is about going to work leaving your 'precious' in another person's care. I am a doctor by profession though I am at present staying at home taking care of my little one. But I will soon be returning to work and would then have to trust my little princess with a caretaker. Every mother knows how hard it is to do just that and I too am dreading the day I'll have to drop my baby girl at the nursery.
Though people say that you get used to it and that children settle down, etc., I wonder if any mother is REALLY ever free of the guilt. Research does say that children, whose mothers started working after they were 1year old , show greater problem-solving ability. I also believe in the concept of 'quality time' which is any day better than nagging or fussing over children or just letting them be (on their own) ! I do not mean this as a generalisation for all 'stay at home mums ( SAHMs). I have the greatest respect for them and am fully aware that cooking, cleaning and keeping house is an endless and thankless job. It's just that some individuals do not cope really well with staying at home all day. They need the stimulation and distraction that work brings, otherwise the frustration gets the better of them. And I belong to this category.
That brings me back to my dilemma. In fact, I am surprised that I am feeling so diffident at all for two reasons. First, I obviously do not want to be a SAHM and second, my mum has always been a working woman. I have always felt secure that my brother and I were the focus of my parents' lives. My mother has boundless energy and there is no way she could have been a SAHM. I am inordinately proud of her achievements.
So I guess I too will cope in my own way, in my own time and make a successful combination of home and career. And I'll always keep in mind the most powerful words on motherhood that I have ever come across which say that "a mother is a person not to lean on, but one who makes leaning unnecessary". So if we are able to achieve this we would have done our duties well , irrespective of how many hours we spent sitting next to the little ones.