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You are here : home > Raising Children > Childhood Concerns > Do you talk to your child about sex?

Do you talk to your child about sex?



Sex education is a taboo subject in India. Adolescence is an age when children's body undergo various changes. Children are curious about about these changes. They try to get the information from different sources as a result of which they are misguided. We as a parent have the responsibility to guide the children in the right direction and to answer all their queries.

How and how much should a growing child be told about taboo subjects.

Your son, who turns twelve tomorrow, wants to know why Rishika sometimes get a blood stain on her white uniform. Your neighbour's daughter would like to know why her brother's voice has begun to sound so hoarse? And why can't she also pee while standing? 


Questions, questions! Most parents have to face a barrage of questions from adolescent children. While these 'questions' seem embarrassing at face value, they need to be tactfully addressed at some point of time.
 

Be clear and candid

As a parent, you should be clear in your mind as to how and what should a child know about sex and sexuality. While you cannot let out every little detail about taboo subjects, you should be able to tackle the questions intelligently. Parents have to also consider the fact that children get information from magazines, television and the Internet. Therefore, there is no point in avoiding any queries. Parents shy away from the questions of adolescent children, quite forgetting the fact that their children might resort to some trashy magazines or a misinformed peer group.
 

No pride, no shame

Sexuality is a very important facet of life. Your children should have a healthy attitude towards sex and allied issues. While they should not indulge themselves in their anatomical assets, they should not even feel ashamed about any bodies. They must have a positive perspective about the members of the opposite sex. For instance, your teenage son should not take undue pride in his muscular superiority over the neighborhood girls. Similarly, your daughter should not hesitate to participate in the basketball competition merely because of her sex.
 

Set an example

Your behaviour, as parents, should set some inherent standards for the family. For example, an unsure and unstable mother cannot give a reasonable explanation to her daughter about the need for wearing a brassiere at the right age. Similarly, a father who looks upon women as sex objects cannot stop his son from eve teasing. Therefore, parents have to create a reasonable value system for their children. They have to draw the dividing line between promiscuity and openness.
 

Discuss

Whether it is a son's query over pubic hair or a daughter's complaint against pre-menstrual cramps, parents must give a patient hearing. It is always advisable for both the parents to think together. Such teamwork also gives the right signals to the children. The couple can segregate their responsibilities. For instance, a mother will be able to better relate to her daughter's psyche than to her adolescent son. Similarly, a son will be able to discuss certain problems only with the father. However, situations will have to be judged separately, without deriving universally applicable solutions.
 

Other sources of information

Library books, educational television, academic workshops, selected sites on the Internet are among the credible sources of information for growing children. Sex education is an essential ingredient of any school curriculum. Parents should explain certain aspects to children by taking the help of their Biology and Science textbooks. For instance, if a boy is curious to know about pregnancy, parents must provide information not only from personal experience but also school textbooks.

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John Wort.4 years ago
We do need to protect our children, but it is an awareness of the beautiful power and positive commitment in the right kind of sex that gives children the best motivation and capacity to avoid what could hurt them Most parents' views are surprisingly conservative when it comes to what they wish for and think is best for their children.
 
 
 
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Mads Moore.4 years ago
The most important principles that parents can convey to their children are pointedly and practically taught as families talk abut sex. Open communication, delayed gratification, and the effective implementation of goals and plans are only a few of the principles that parents can teach along with and as part of a positive approach to marriage and sex.
 
 
 
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Riri SD.4 years ago
We as parents tend to avoid any talk about sex and delay it and feel embarrassed and hesitant about it.parents with the right message and the right timing can preempt negative and harmful information. They can also create a positive frame of reference and an effective filter through which kids can interpret and internalize what is useful and helpful to them
 
 
 
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Discussion Forum - Recent Posts
Your son, who turns twelve tomorrow, wants to know why Rishika sometimes get a blood stain on her white uniform. Your neighbour's daughter would like to know why her brother's voice has begun to sound so hoarse While these 'questions' seem embarrassing at face value, they need to be tactfully addressed at some point of time. 1. As a parent, you should be clear in your mind as to how and what should a child know about sex and sexuality. 2.Your behaviour, as parents, should set some inherent standards for the family. For example, an unsure and unstable mother cannot give a reasonable explanation to her daughter about the need for wearing a brassiere at the right age. 3. Whether it is a son's query over pubic hair or a daughter's complaint against pre-menstrual cramps, parents must give a patient hearing 4. Sex education is an essential ingredient of any school curriculum. Do you also have to face a barrage of questions from adolescent children. What and how do u answer Share with us!
megha
i would be really gratefull if you would tell us how to tell our children about sex and sexuality. thanks...
Bharti
I wanted to know thr right age when a child should be informed about sexNULL...
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