Everyone loves a party, especially children. However, in all the excitement, they must not forget that they are at a social gathering. Here are a few social skills you can instil in your child to boost her confidence and make her the perfect little host or guest.

When Your Child is the Host

Sending invitations: Allowing your child to distribute invitations in a public setting such as a school is considered rude, unless she is inviting the entire class. Instead, have her privately give the invitations to the selected people. This will also avoid any uncomfortable situations.

Being discreet: It is natural for your child to be excited about the party, and she will obviously want everyone to know about it. Tell her that she should not mention the party or discuss details of the party with people who have not been invited. Explain that it is not polite. Ask her to imagine how she would feel if she knew about a party but was not invited to it.

Interacting with guests: Make a list of things for your child to remember during her party. An important aspect of being a good host is thanking the guests. Tell your child to greet her guests with a smile and say "Thank you" when they hand over a gift. Remind her not to ask her guests for her gift. Hold a small practice session beforehand to teach her how to accept a gift without grabbing it from the guest's hands.

Dealing with gifts: Indians normally do not open gifts in front of the giver. However, in Western culture, you would open a gift on the spot and thank the giver by appreciating the gift. How you deal with gifts will depend on what customs you follow. If your child prefers to open the gifts in the presence of the guests, ensure that she does not get distracted by playing with the toys she receives. This may make the guests feel neglected. Also, tell her not to act dejected if she happens to receive the same gift more than once. Instead, she could say something like "Wow! You had such a good idea too" which sounds better than "I already got the same thing".

Avoiding sibling jealousy: Make sure that your child is nice to her siblings, on her birthday. Tell her siblings that it is their brother's or sister's special day, and they will also get their turn to have a party of their own on their birthday. Gently remind your child not to taunt her siblings by emphasising how grand her party was or show off the gifts she got. If it is possible, involve the entire family in planning the party. Assign a few small tasks to the other children so that they do not feel neglected.

Sending the thank-you note: The last but most important part of a successful birthday party is the thank-you note. Any child, who is able to write legibly, can write her own thank-you note. It does not have to be written in flowery or fancy language. A few lines thanking the guests for making it to the party and for their gifts will do. Help your child write a good note by creating a sample she could use. Avoid sending a thank-you note by email, or calling up to verbally express your gratitude. Doing this is considered impersonal and inappropriate. A note, written in your child's own handwriting, is the best way to express her feelings, and will be better appreciated by your guests.

When Your Child is the Guest

Reply to an invitation: The best start to making your child a good guest at a party is to teach her to reply to her host. Explain to her that when she receives an invitation, she must call up the host and inform whether she will be attending the party. This makes it easier for the host to know how many people are going to attend and plan accordingly.

Be punctual: Always arrive on time. Parties are usually only for a limited period and you would not want to be tardy and have your child miss out on any of the fun. Also, be considerate and pick up your child from the festivities at the appointed time. This will give your hosts time to relax after a tiring party without having to entertain your child while waiting for you to pick her up.

Watch the conversation: Children are not known for being tactful. While it is not wrong for a child to speak her mind, certain comments could be disastrous. Your child may not like the food or games at a party. Explain to her that if she does not like something, she should not blurt it out, especially in front of her hosts.

Make your child participate in the occasion: Encourage your child to join in all the games and other activities at the party even if she is not particularly fond of them. Make sure she understands that her hosts have put in a lot of effort to make the party an enjoyable experience for her. They would be disappointed and feel sad if she chose not to participate.

Teach her manners: Sometimes, your child might be enjoying herself so much that she forgets her manners. Remind her to say 'please' and 'thank you' whenever she asks for, or receives something. Also, tell her not to grab or open any of the gifts since they do not belong to her. If she feels a little jealous on seeing the number of gifts, explain to her that she will also get a lot of gifts when her birthday comes around.