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Manners and Discipline Topics..

 
You are here : home > Manners and Discipline > Disciplining Children > Signs that You are Too Soft with Your Kids

Signs that You are Too Soft with Your Kids


Signs that You are Too Soft with Your Kids
Being too soft with kids and tolerating their misbehaviour can make them grow-up into rude and undisciplined individuals. It does not mean that you have to behave in a harsh manner with kids to discipline them. Here are few signs that you are too soft with your kids.

Some parents are so overwhelmed with love for their children that they express their adoration by being extremely soft with their kids. Obviously this has a bad effect on their kids who turn out to be undisciplined, lazy, egoistic and ill mannered. The problem is that such parents cannot recognize that they are too soft with their kids. Here are some signs to help you identify whether you have fallen into the soft parenting trap.

You Always Yield In

Do you find yourself giving in to every demand of your children, be it justified or unjustified? If you find yourself making strong statements but gradually giving in when pressurized by your kids then this is not a sign of healthy parenting. Yielding to kids makes them think that they can get away with almost anything. You need to understand that this soft parenting habit will prepare your kids to expect that the world will always move according to their expectations. Stop yourself from being a pushover and enforce discipline in your equation with your kids.

You Make Empty Threats

Do you find yourself constantly threatening your kids with some sort of disciplinary action which you are unable to follow? Making empty threats is a sure sign of soft parenting and it can have disastrous consequences for the kid.
Children are basically smart and they quickly understand that their parents are just going to punish them with words and not actions and so they continue in their behaviour or misdemeanour. Worse they develop expectations that the world is also not going to punish them for any wrong they do. Shatter these dangerous illusions by making sure that you follow up on whatever punishment you have committed to enforce.

You Cannot Bear Tears

If the mere sight of your kids tears make you weep and give in then it is a sure sign of soft parenting. Many children use tears as weapons of manipulation and establishment of their will and they quickly they catch on to the fact that the tears are emotionally affecting their parents.
If your kids understand that the moment they burst into tears you would be ready to give in to every demand or do anything to make them stop then it is a recipe for disaster. You will be subjected to outbursts at every possible juncture. The trick is to ignore tears (when they are unjustified) and use a calm controlled tone of voice to offer fair solutions.

You Try To Help Too Much

Do you find yourself stepping in to do your kids homework, assignments and projects for them? Wanting to ease the load of your kids is natural but overdoing the “help” bit is a sign of soft parenting. Your child needs to understand that he or she is supposed to do assigned work with minimum help.
This kind of soft parenting makes kids dependant and lazy and also negatively affects their intellectual capacity. Stop offering unnecessary help and let your kid earn the honest glow of satisfaction that comes with hard work.

You Tolerate Rudeness

Do you find your kids talking back at you or shouting at you? A few minor incidents are fine but if it is a usual occurrence then it is a sign that you are tolerating too much. This sign of soft parenting is an indicator that you are spoiling your kids by not teaching them that they are supposed to listen to you. Establish the fact that your kids are supposed to listen to you and if they display rudeness then there will be rapid consequences.
With a little discipline and will power it is possible to break the harmful habit of being too soft with kids.

Do kids go haywire if parents are too soft and overprotective? What are the ill effects of being too soft with kids? How can parents avoid being too soft or too strict with kids? Discuss here.


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Barkha
Barkha.8 years ago
Very informative article...parents should learn to balance between being too soft and too strict with children to avoid spoiling them.
 
 
 
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Naina
Naina.8 years ago
I agree with you, being too soft or too strict with kids can have ill effects on their development.
 
 
 
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Abhishek
Abhishek.8 years ago
Over-pampering and being too soft with kids is definitely going to spoil the kids.
 
 
 
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