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You are here : home > Manners and Discipline > Disciplining Children > How to Get Out of the Yelling Cycle

How to Get Out of the Yelling Cycle


How to Get Out of the Yelling Cycle

Getting out of the yelling cycle seems difficult but with strong determination parent can definitely do it. Read on learn how to break the vicious cycle of yelling.

You must have heard about the damaging effects of hitting and spanking kids. Well child psychiatrists say that yelling is a tactic that is equally bad for the psychology of kids. Yelling (in most cases) qualifies as verbal abuse and it does not solve the issue rather aggravating the problem at hand. If you find yourself stuck in a vicious cycle of yelling then follow these tips to get out of the situation.

Remember the Ill Effects of Yelling

Once you are aware of the complete range of ill effects of yelling it will be easier for you to kick this habit. Apart from having very short effect of scaring kids into submission yelling actually detracts from the issue as kids do not really get the content of what you are saying.
Sooner or later shouting escalates into using bad language and mental abuse. Kids will eventually learn to tune out parents who yell consistently and ultimately this leads to loss of regard. Kids who fail to tune out yelling parents eventually develop a warped negative self image and a scarred confidence. However, the worst thing which happens is that kids learn to shout back pretty soon, thanks to their parents who have taught them that yelling is an effective way of communication.

Why it is Difficult to Break the Yelling Habit

Many parents are genetically wired to yell and act in a vocally aggressive way. Much of this is conditioned by childhood influences and the way parents of those parents have behaved. A lot depends on the genetic makeup too though scientists are yet to identify a specific gene that is responsible for shouting.
Being a parent is mentally taxing as there is huge pressure on nerves and a big shift up in the responsibility scale. Sometimes parents may feel overwhelmed by their changed lives and let off steam by yelling. Kids also try the patience of their parents by behaving in inappropriate ways. These reasons sometimes make yelling a reflex action.

How to Stop Yelling?

Psychiatrists advise parents to mentally conjure up a Pause button which they should immediately once they feel the impulse of yelling creeping in. the Pause button is invisible and yet very powerful and the only one who can hit it is you.
Sometimes tapping the forehead gently to remind yourself to stop may be enough to make you stop mid way in your yelling session. However, sometimes this gentle reminder might not be enough and you have to remove yourself from the stressful situation in order to put a pause to your anger.

What to Do in the Pause?

It is extremely important to engage in some fruitful activity during the pause moments so that the mind is filled with positive energy. Counting backwards from 30 is tried and tested way to curb the anger and once the anger has ebbed treat yourself to a steaming cup of herb tea. Listening to relaxing music or meditating are also great ways to lose steam. If all else fails then try writing down your thoughts (even angry ones) in your diary. You will slowly feel the impulse for shouting fading away.

The Payoff

While motivating yourself to quit the vicious cycle of shouting is not an easy task, it is not unachievable. After a number of successful attempts the difficulty level of breaking the anger cycle will reduce and you will be able to glide from the angry to the “calm” phase pretty smoothly. The important thing is to realise that there is nothing called as “perfect parenting”. However, the quest for perfect parenthood can always go on…
Breaking the yelling cycle is not easy but if you follow these tips you will surely be successful in conquering this bad habit.

How to avoid yelling at children? What are the ill effects of yelling at children? How to discipline children without yelling? Discuss here.


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Krishna
Krishna.8 years ago
Yelling does not help in anyway so why waste time yelling at kids.
 
 
 
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Fatima
Fatima.8 years ago
Children who are yelled at often learn to yell back at parents.
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Hetal
Hetal.8 years ago
Yelling at kids is the worst thing parents can do
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