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You are here : home > Manners and Discipline > Disciplining Children > Teaching the Art of Polite Conversation

Teaching the Art of Polite Conversation

Children are prone to interrupting

Children are definitely not born good conversationalists. As a matter of fact, their self-absorption leads them to conduct monologues rather than dialogue. They feel that whatever it is they want to say is of earth-shattering importance and everyone, particularly parents, should stop whatever they're doing and lend them a ear.

Thus, you will find children blithely interrupting their parents' telephone conversations, meetings, conversations with their friends and their work. Parents who are trying to discuss some important issue or working on files that they have brought home from work find their children intruding on their thoughts, conversations, time and space

You may indulge your children a few times, but not every time they interrupt you. At some point your annoyance is going to get the better of you and you will snap at them. Soon, this will become a habit and they will turn a deaf ear to your protests and continue to interrupt you thinking that it is their right. You have to get the message across that your existence and that of other people in the world does not revolve around them. They must understand that they cannot expect other people's unqualified attention as their due. In fact, they can only expect that if they return the favour and listen to what other people have to say too. 
 

Teaching your children to be polite

  • Be a good listener yourself. Listen to your child and guide her so that she knows when she should be listening.
  • Instead of nagging her or being short with her when she interrupts, develop a less aggressive way of telling her that she has to wait. May be you can lay your hand gently on her arm or request her in a firm, but kind tone to wait.
  • Remember that she is a child after all, so don't have unreasonable expectations and make her wait for a long time before you get back to her. It is well known that patience is a virtue that is rare even in adults.
  • If she has forgotten what she wanted to say in the interim, do not be dismissive and say that it could not have been important to begin with. 
  • Tell your child not to interrupt you when you are on the telephone by speaking. Suggest to her that she could tug at your arm or communicate her need to speak to you in some other non-verbal fashion. Tell her that you will acknowledge her need to speak to you by gesturing that she wait so she knows that you have heard her.
  • If your child still refuses to learn, then when she interrupts your telephone conversation the next time, remain calm and ignore her. If possible, go into another room and lock her out.
  • If you know that you're about to have an important conversation and want to be safe from interruptions, give your child advance warning that you're going to be busy for a little while and give her something like a colouring book or a puzzle that will occupy her for some time.
  • You can play a game with your child where you take turns interrupting each other while the other is trying to say something. This way your child will learn just how annoying it is to be interrupted. 
  • Your child will learn good manners if you exhibit them yourself. Hence, if you have to break in on any conversation, make sure that you say "Excuse me…"
  • Do not forget to praise your child when she lets you get on with your work or conversations without interrupting you.
More Articles on:
Conversation | Children | Polite | Parents | Habit | Listener


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Recent comments (6 comments)
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Comment: 
Name: NIDHI
Country: usa

nice article ... good tips
 
Name: Jesus Christ
Country: Other

wonderful work, my child! however, it does make me sad that you talk about children in such a unkind manner. instead of "the world does not revolve around them", try saying "these precious gifts require our attention, but as sad as we may feel, we cannot talk at this time." then, go on to mention how you need to love and encourage them and listen to them. tell them "dear child o beloved gift from the heaven above, i am so excited to talk to you in just a moment." the child will be very pleased to hear this! thank you! yes, this really is jesus christ...please do not think i'm a spammer. i invented spammers to teach people to be cautious! always remember: jesus is here for you. talk to me about whatever you need. always remember: there is no such thing as allah, i am jesus and it makes me really ashamed with my creation when you worship "allah" or any one else. love you!
 
Name: ritujain
Country: India

feeling relaxed. will try to implement.
 
Name: Prabal
Country: India

please give me something new. all these things are very old. they know exactly when to interrupt and hence are very smart for all these things.
 
Name: Malini
Country: Mauritius

seems like a good way to teach children manners.
 
Name: neetu
Country: India

my son is very irritating forgot all manners .please guide


 

 
 
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