For three-year old Esha, and her
exasperated mother, bedtime is battle time. Despite various efforts
of her mother, Esha just refuses to go to bed in time. The daily
battle ends when Esha's tired parents fall asleep, and the
child still remains awake. This scenario is common in many households.
Parents end up getting late in the morning schedule due to their late nights.
The late nights become even more disturbing when the child
outgrows the pre-school age. The household has to try very hard to change
the child's schedule after the morning school starts. Therefore
it is very important to inculcate the habit of sleeping in time
at a very young age. Experts feel that the key to put an end to bedtime
battles lies in understanding why your child resists sleep.
There could be
many reasons :
Separation Fear: Many children
sleep away from their parents, either in different rooms or on a separate
bed. So they may treat sleeping as separation from their parents, and hence
try to postpone the sleeping time as much as possible.
Entertainment Activity:They might be longing for some other source of fun like a favourite television
programme.
Bonding: Specially for children of working mothers, night time is the only relaxed time with the
mom. As a result, the child postpones sleep in order to share
time with her.
Afternoon Nap: Some children,
especially pre-schoolers tend to sleep in the afternoon. So they do not
feel tired in the night and are too fresh for another nap.
To get to the
root of your child's sleep resistance, and to make bedtime less combative,
you need to consider lot of factors.
Establish Routines: Fix up a
pre-bedtime routine and adhere to it. Taking a bath, brushing teeth, reading
bedtime stories are normal comfortable routines. It makes your child psychologically
prepared for sleep. Once your child's mind gets accustomed to a particular
schedule, he/she will automatically feel sleepy at that time everyday.
Children of all ages function best when they follow consistent bedtime
routine.
No Stimulation: Avoid any physical
play during an hour before bedtime. Any such activity increases child's
mental and physical alertness
Limit Television: Shut
down television, music systems half an hour before sleep. If any person
is watching TV or listening to music even in the other room, the child
may not want to go to bed. Strict instructions should be given to
elder siblings for following these rules.
Avoid Caffine-based Food: Avoid
giving any chocolates, colas from dinner time onwards as it has got stimulating
effect on the body and keeps the child away from sleep.
Offer Rewards: You can tell your
child that if he/she is ready for bed before time, there will be time for
an additional story. If the child adheres to the routine, reward him with
either a toy or a movie of his/her choice . These incentives encourage
them to follow the sleeping routine diligently.
Remove The Fear: Many children
have fear of darkness. They do not like the idea of putting off the lights.
Help them to clear the fear associated with darkness. Ghost stories,
mysteries should not be told to the children at all as it may add to their
fears. Have a light chat with your child at night.
Avoid Making Them Sleep Separately
From Very Young Age: The child feels secure in the company of
parents at night. Until the child attains optimum level of understanding
and confidence about sleeping separately, do not force him into it. Create
a confidence in him first and then let him sleep independently. Forcing
him can create hatred and unhappiness in his mind.
Encourage Physical Activity During
The Day: There should be at least some form of physical exercise for
your child during the day. It promotes good appetite and health. Through
such activity the child gets tired and feels sleepy at night.
Keep Him Away From Afternoon Nap:
The child should be kept away from afternoon nap by keeping him engaged
in some favourite activity. There will be resistance from him for few days.
But once he is accustomed to not sleeping during the day, his body will
get tuned to the changed cycle.
All these solutions are not exhaustive.
You must come up with your own original ideas.
Name:
uma
Country: India
I know it is still not a very acceptable thing in India to make your kids sleep seperately. My daughter is 4 years and she is sleeping sep.Is it ok.Wht is your opinion ? Will it hurt the kid in any way ?
Name:
RENU
Country: India
my son is five and half years old. likes dancing and singing but is not ready to learn it from professionals. does not want to join any classes for it. what should i do.
Name:
menka
Country: India
putting my son to sleep ius a real battle. he is just a year old but refuses to go to sleep. in fact he gets more active as it gets cvloser to night time. i have tried many things, right from giving him hot milk beofre betdtime, to gviving him a bath, and even tiring him ouyt by playing for a long time in the garden, but nothing seems to work. what should i do? help!
Name:
Deepti
Country: India
small babies especially months old are more tender and wud feel more secure in mothers lap if your baby doesnot sleep even when u rock her ..try this! take one old soft cotton saree spread it evenly in four or five folds as per the saree and put your abby in that wrap him so that it is cozy and if u have any hanger to your ceiling better hang it using a rope and then craddle him or else you swing him using sare with you own hands it works wonders i have been using this trick for my 4month old iam ale to put her to sleep
Name:
Priya
Country: India
i agree with you menka. my daughter is just three months ols and just does not want to sleep. we rock her, sing to her and even damnce for her ... she ofcourse loves all that ... and then the minute we dim the lights she starts bawling! either she is scared of the dark, or of being put to sleep, don't know what.
Name:
shazia
Country: India
hi 2 all
this is 4 menka. i have 11 mnth baby & i'm working.near 2 baby's sleeping time i make her supper like khichdi,dal-rice ready & her papa massages her whole body with oil,scalp massage at the end, which starts making her drowsy,then i take her in my lap & feed her supper.by d time her food is over she's almost asleep, final touch is my rocking her on my shoulder, helping her 2 burp down her food & a relaxing & cosy feel in my lap, & there she is fallen sound sleep, try this with ur modifications , hope it'll work.
Name:
SUPARNA
Country: India
hi 2 all...my daughter is 4yr old...and from the very begining i followed a rutine which is dinner at 8.30 and going to bed at 9 pm sharp...and touch wood till now sssshe gave me no problem regarding sleep.and she takes a small nap in the afternoon also otherwise she feels drowsy and irritated from the evening.
Name:
Dr Strap
Country: U.S.A.
very well written because you have identified all of the reasons some children will just not go to sleep. there is nothing more to be said, it's all right here. excellent job.
Name:
rani
Country: India
we have only son 10 years old. he has interest in tabla and singing and we made him join these classes. we observe that the day on which he riyaz perfectly he takes interest in his studies also. he is good in art also we send for art classes also twice a week we found more chages in him he has become now more confident.he good in studies. but sometimes get confused what should be continued is it going to help him, further
Name:
GS
Country: U.S.A.
hi 2 all.my son is 3&1/2 yr. old.and he just don't have a single problem, but many.like ....
1.he is hyperactive...doesn't sit a single minute the whole day.
2.very arrogant.
3.not eating much.
4.doesn't like to come back home w'ever i take him out or smbody' house.it's a real battle to take him back home.
5.n overall n most difficult he is sleepless. he doesn't sleep the whole day.that's o.k but even after playing $ running the whole day ...he don't sleep at night also b'fore 12 or 1.that too not on his own.i've to push him to sleep.i'm so tired of this now,no more patience is left in me. i just don't get a single min. of rest in daytime.at night also it's a battle 4 me everyday.i've a slip disc problm. n have a backpain all the time n b'coz of running after him the whole day it becomes so severe that i feel just unable 2 do the household thgs like i feel so tired to cook food, 2 clean the house.even these thgs. become impossible 4 me. smone plzzzz. help just abt. how 2 increase his sleep time so that i can get some rest.is there any medicine or any other thg. to improve his sleep.
Name:
aaaron heeley
Country: United Kingdom
aaron like to stay in bed in the morning at weekend love laura
Name:
BobSmith Charles
Country: Afghanistan
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