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Thread: Married forcefully, Please help what should I do ?

  1. #1

    Married forcefully, Please help what should I do ?

    Hello Friends,

    I just got married 2 weeks ago in India and currently live and work in Canada. I will be thankful to you ever if you can share your thoughts and advice in my difficult time.

    My Parents found a girl for me about 3 years ago in India, but because of some family misunderstandings and mismatched my parents rejected them, however me and a girl came very close to each other during this time and eventually fell in love.

    My Parents again after 3 years found a girl for me as per their choice which I didn't like and they knew it before marriage, they emotionally tourchered me to extreme level, abused, threatened and forced me to marry that girl.

    Me and my old girlfriend have cried and fought a lot to salvage our relation life long but my parents messed up our dreams. Today, I am not happy at all with my marriage nor my wife (my parents' choice) especially the way my parents behaved and treated to me, I don't think I will be happy ever or can keep my wife happy ever. We don't have any kind of relationship build up yet.

    On the other hand, my old girl friend still crying like anything as she can't live without me so am I as our dream is broken. Because of my parents ego and selfishness three lifes' are on the verge of ruin.

    I personally believe, my wife is not at fault and deserves happiness and better person and hence all I am thinking is what are the ways I can convince my wife and talk to her, so that we can't carry on this burdened relation for rest of the life.

    My wife doesn't know about my past, but knows that this was badly forced marriage, but she is trying to be very happy with me and doesn't even care why I am so much upset with my family, why I am not happy or what happened in my past.

    If I go for separation, I feel it will be very difficult as I feel my wife is not easily will let me go, especially when she has back up of my family.

    My happiness lies with my girl friend and we are very happy with each other even today, which my parents ignored completely because of their ego and selfishness and with current circumstances, me and my wife won't be able to happy together.

    Today, I am alone, hopeless, helpless and out of thoughts, My humble request to you if you could please share some of your thoughts on my situation and may be advise, that would be very much appreciated.

    Thank you very much for your time.

  2. #2
    Your story reminds me of mine got married with a unknown in india and after moved to USA and after having two kids she entered into a state of distrust and finding faults in me for some another woman and so she moved to india with my kids and now non of my relatives lives in india and so they i filled divorce from international divorce lawyer and she is not answering notice and her family is creating pressure on me from my side advice to you will be do not enter in ny such marriage.
    Last edited by Linda Cantrell; 29-06-2015 at 06:36 PM.

  3. #3
    Hello Mr.Sharma,

    Quite an unfortunate situation that you are having to go through. I am not sure if Linda has read through your post. To my understanding you have already married the girl of your parents choice. So the choice whether to marry her or not is invalid.

    As strange as it may sound, divorces do not happen in courts without marriages that take place. In other words, divorce wouldn't be needed if there was no marriage in your case. I think, blaming it all on your parents that you were forced into the marriage is of no help in the current situation. Because in the current scenario, if the divorce is to happen, you (not your parents) will have to present your case before the court who may or may not grant to divorce, based on the facts and the circumstances of the case. Also your current wife has to be convinced (involves her parents automatically). In case the marriage has not been consummated (no sexual intimacy), the marriage maybe annulled, if your current wife agrees to cooperate(?). (Please read more on this)

    You might want to first think through your legal path. After educating yourself about the legal course, you might want to consider breaking the news to your current wife, followed by your parents and making them aware about your plans to marry the girl of your choice. Know that one cannot remarry until your first marriage ends.

    Now in contrast to having to go through all this, it could have been way easier for you to go against your parents before marriage. It is quite unfortunate that besides court matters etc you still will have to go against your parents. Strangely going against them is what you tried to avoid and so you agreed to the marriage, right?

    In the best situation, you break the news to your wife and parents before approaching the court (that way you will know your risks better). You will need lot of courage, money, time (between 2-5 years) and so a lot of patience. I am by no means trying to discourage you or scare you. This is to make your aware of certain matters so that it helps you to stay prepared ahead of time. I hope that you come of this situation with little or no damages at all.

    Best luck man!
    Superhydro

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