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Thread: My MIL & my daughter's relationship

  1. #1

    My MIL & my daughter's relationship

    I am in a situation where-in I just don’t seem to have a solution. We stay in a joint family along with my in-laws. I am a full time working mom, but chose to work from home after the birth of my dd who is 2.5 years old now.
    She goes to the playschool and once she returns home, my mom-in –law takes care of her till about 5:30 to 6:00 PM. We have domestic help available who takes care of all household chores (and sometimes my child too). My problem is that day by day as my child is growing up, she is becoming aggressive, says “no” very frequently and is becoming very short tempered. Once she is back from school, she stays till 6:00 PM with my MIL. Now if she keeps obeying to my MIL’s instructions there is absolutely no problem, but the moment my kid says “no” or does not listen to her, I hear my MIL telling her that she is a bad girl and she wouldn’t like to be a grand mom of this kind of a girl and she is going else-where (outside of the house) and not take her along and also become a grand mom to a well behaved child, compares her to her cousins etc etc..
    There are quite many instances when things went out of hand and my MIL slapped my DD for mis-behaving and scolded her. I had to take a break from my home office and sort things out (mostly getting my DD to say sorry to my MIL as she was mis-behaving).
    There are very few days when I hear them having fun while I am at office. Given that my work schedules are tight, I hardly get the time to come out of my room (I work from 11:00 AM to 5:30 PM; chose these work hours for the benefit of the family). But whenever I do come out, I spend few minutes with my DD and also ask my MIL on what my LO has been doing so far.
    Today again, my MIL slapped my LO for not listening to her and mis-behaving and my DD came crying to me saying” Daddi ne maara”. While I didn’t like it, all I did was have my DD say sorry to her Daddi and then both of them patched up and my LO went to her Daddi for her sleeping routines.
    While I understand it gets frustrating for an older person to handle a super active toddler, but wanted to know if this is a correct way of upbringing her? My DD is super attached to my MIL though my MIL keeps scolding her most of the times. I am not sure if I am over-reacting to this situation and should simply think this to be a phase which will pass when my DD will grow older and will learn to obey her grand moms instructions – Feeling disturbed.

  2. #2
    I believe you should talk to your MIL or ask your husband to talk to her. Your daughter is too small, she wont be able to understand things, its your MIL who will have to. I do understand the situation of your MIL also since I have a 2.5 year old daughter and currently I am a stay at home mom. Kids can make you mad Even I shout at her at times, but at the same time I know its us who ll have to understand and not the kids. She is just being a kid

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