its so hard to deal with mom after dads no more.

hello everyone,
they sayz shareing helps, when u can't find out whats wrong, but u feels like drowning deep inside. love my family, 2 girls(mee n my elder sis) n parents, dads transfarable job mostly keep him out, mom n mom's younger bro(uncle), stayz with us to took care, then for studies we, sis n mee went to hostal, mom n uncle manage back home, everythings was ok, my sis got married to far away, mee, got job far away. after 3 years, my careers'was blooimg that time dad got sick, took leave n was hospitalized, mom n uncle took care of him, he got serious diesese, now all worried, after him who will look aft mom, sis can't stay wid mom shez married n her husband got job far away, i left job went home, after few dayz dad expired. now i helped in all expects, like pension, legal works, land property, n right now constructing some buildings for later use,etc. now come to my marriage, my bf asking for marriage, but my mom all worried how she stayz alone, she said uncle will stayz with her.but we, my sis n me don't have much trust on him, still we agreed, now the problem is since my wedding dayz r approching, she, mom iz all freaked out, scolding me , fighting with me.. nagging me, as m stranger, n i should not stay at home, i feel like m wasting her money,.... n outsiders like uncles all enjoying this fighting n all that, feeling terrible... but don't know what to do?????? some times feel like staying n not get married... n sometimes i feel like i should quite everything n go some where peacefull.. just struck in bet everything, duties toward my mom,, duties toward me, my career,.....

Hey Liza,
Sorry for your dad, hats off to you. You are well doing your work. Everyone should learn something from you. You are good example of how to stay hard in every situation. keep it up

Hi Simple Indian Girl with a Complicated Life,

I empathize with you. It is not easy to deal with the death of your parent. And if you do not have a brother to take care of your mother, you feel more worried about who will take care of your mother once you leave, and you feel guilty about looking forward to some happiness when your mother is feeling so miserable.

But you know what.. it's just the way it is. Here, at least it seems that your mother has her brother to take care of her. He may not be the best person that you would want to trust, but at least he is there.

And you are just talking about getting married...You are not talking about going abroad and leaving her behind. You can check up on her daily by phone or you can live close by or something. Dont stop living your life just because your mom is alone. Your mom lived her life for a long time. While it is a sad thing, you have to think of your future..

The reason that she may be fighting so much with you could be because she is panicky and scared and depressed. You need to be the strong one in order to make her strong from within. Teach her to care for herself and make sure that she understands that you and your fiance will always be there for her.

I wish you all the best and hope that your family gets a lot of joy and happiness.

i agree with hemali.. you need to be strong and understand that by marrying, you are getting someone to be by you for life, but your mom is loosing her entire support system.. you and your fiance both need to show her by action not just words that you'll will be by her side.. if you cant stay in th same area, you should get her to also move to wher you'll are gonna live.. that is assuming she has no great friends wher she lives currently..

Life is like that with many ups and downs. You need to be strong to face the challenges of life. Your mom is behaving in such a manner cos she is really worried and she feels that she will be lonely after your marriage. The fear of loneliness is making her react and behave in such a manner. Don't feel bad, soon everything will settle down. Have faith. Tell your mother to join some club or some form of activity to keep herself busy. This way she will have less time to feel lonely and will make a lot of new friends also. Gradually she will overcome such feelings.
Hope for the Best.

sorry for your dad, i can understand you because I also faced this situation, very hard to manage all these, you did a good job

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