by , 01-09-2016 at 07:13 PM (495 Views)
“Blessed are the families who have a daughter”- My father always said that. I attributed it to his love for me. So, when I got pregnant, I wanted to reciprocate the same love. My husband wanted the first child to be a girl. It seems God listened to us. I gave birth to a cuddly, sweet, healthy girl child. The day she was born I started to relate to her. Dressing her, choosing accessories for her, selecting baby lotions for her, these were not my errand ever, it was something I loved to pursue. I loved seeing her grow. She was the apple of my eye. I found my best friend in her. Loved to play the games tic tac toe, making Barbie houses, playing kitchen games. I enjoyed teaching her ABC. I cherished reading books with her (Pepper, Bubbles, Barbie and Dora the explorer). It was all going fine, rather great.
And then suddenly one day I started feeling she does not love me. Her cuddly hugs were transformed to, “You don’t understand”. Her “I love you” was no more heard. I missed those constant “Mumma! Mumma! I need this and I need that” phrases. My daughter Alisha has entered the teenage phase. I should be happy about it, but instead I was apprehensive. Her hormones were working against me. It was not an easy phase. And as usual I called up my mother (the God of my life!). She laughed on hearing about my state. Then she narrated me that how she had gone with the same when I was a teenager. It is normal for the teenagers to have their own ideas about everything and anything. It is also absolutely fine that their likes and dislikes change.
Me, who was till now, speculated and apprehensive about the pace started trying to find a solution. When there is a problem there is always a solution (the lock and key theory). And I started implementing them in my life. Needless to say, even when there are times when I and my daughter don’t understand each other, we have somehow managed to pull against the generation gap.
So, for all you lovely mothers of teenage daughters, here are the tips tried and tested:-
- 1. Give her some space- that constant nagging which I called my super caring attitude had to go away. I use to have a say on every dress she wore and every book she read. But, gradually I started giving her space. I felt that I should be confident about my upbringing. She will not do anything which is inappropriate. Let her explore the life she likes. And if I see her stepping on the wrong stone, I am there for her.
- 2. Talk to her- this one was tedious. It was because her most of the time was either studying or glued to her Smartphone or reading book. So, I used to make sure that I finished all my work, before she came back from school. I tried to talk to her. I did not interrogate her, but simply share my experiences in a fun way.
- 3. Know her friends- it’s not really a safe world out there. Hence, with all the freedom I gave her, I made sure that a tab is kept on her FB friends, her instagram pics and her whatsapp chats. And this I did after letting her know. No sneaking. Just simple and short “I want to know who you are acquainted with”.
So far it has been really nice! And I hope it will be the same till she reaches another new phase of her life. Wherein, I promise to be her best friend and not just a guide.
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