When talking about children being bullied, the last thing that comes in mind is their own parents bullying them. Read on to learn about the signs that you are bullying your children, knowingly or unknowingly.
As soon as the word bullying comes, the first thing that comes in mind is peer bullying. Surprisingly, some children go through another type of bullying that lurks in their lives. Often parenting is related to love and guidance, but the other side of the coin also should be taken into account. Sometimes their motivation makes them go overboard and engage in bullying behaviour with their children.
Signs of Parental Bullying
Let us take a look at the common signs of parental bullying.
Being Bossy and Controlling
Often bullying parents are bossy and controlling. Some parents try to over control their children and this leads to bullying often. There are parents, who are engaged in authoritarian style of parenting, put forth strong demands and control on their children without complementing it with warmth and love. They lay down autonomous rules and have unilateral expectations from their children and they do not have any right to question or discuss on any rule. This often leads to children who do not trust their parents as they grow up and most of them try to withdraw.
An egocentric parent might appear the parent of the world in front of others but inside home, things are different. These parents do not treat children with empathy or show unconditional love to their children. These parents are excessively achievement oriented and make themselves so emotionally needy that children feel they need to care for the parent. Bullying parents are often mean and abusive towards their children while they project their completely different picture in front of the rest of the world.
Anger and Violence
Parenting done under the influence of anger leads to bullying. Aggressive parenting involves yelling, threatening, intimidating and using inappropriate verbal and physical disciplining of the child. In most of the cases kids react to this type of parenting initially and then get rebellious.
Continuity of the Pattern
Usually a child who is bullied at home and by his or her parents becomes a bully. An aggressive parent does not nurture, show love or respect towards his or her child and these children also express their aggression on others without even feeling wrong about that.
Emotional and Mental Bullying
Many parents understand that after a certain age there is line when it comes to physicality. In fact, physical bullying is very easy to identify as compared to mental or emotional. Use of demeaning speech and other techniques are used to make the child feel bad of himself or herself. This leaves mental scars and leads kids to depression. These children have difficulty sustaining relationships in their lives and lack healthy relationship all through their lives.
Cyber-bullying is a matter of great concern these days. Sometimes parents also go too far in this path and lead their kids into deep depressive stage.
Repeated bullying causes emotional harm and can erode the self-esteem of the child affecting mental health as well. No matter whether the bullying is physical, mental, emotional or relational, long term effects are equally harmful. It has been observed in both, boys and girls, high levels of emotional distress, lower self-esteem, anxiety, loneliness and depression. Sometimes situation even turn out tragic and the child takes his or her life.
So, it is time to get alert. If all or any of the warning signs of parental bullying mentioned above match with your behaviour towards your children, it is time to check. Try and prevent bullying in the house especially done by you.
What are the harmful effects of parental bullying? How to avoid bullying children? What are the common signs of parental bullying? Discuss here.
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- The Indiaparenting Team