Appreciation helps develop self-confidence. It helps your child get a sense of right from wrong, and prevents him from feeling neglected.
Two-year-old Sahana lets her mom know whenever she has gone to the
bathroom by herself, and when she gets a hug and a 'Well done, good
girl!' from her mother, her day is made!
On the other hand, Shruthi just refused to put her toys back
in her toy bag after playing, and would only do so after her mother had
shouted and threatened her many times. If only Shruthi's mother praised
her every time when she did indeed put her toys away, instead of
shouting at her every time she didn't, Shruthi's behaviour may have
Many of us forget to appreciate and acknowledge our children when they do something right. Appreciation helps develop self-confidence.
A simple "Good job!" for as trivial a task as tucking up shoes and
socks in the shoe rack can work wonders for a child's self-esteem.
gives a child a sense of right and wrong. The minute you praise your
child for something he has done, he understands that you would like him
to do it again. In addition, your child realizes that his actions are
being observed. And as children crave love and attention, they will strive to earn your praise again and again.
Appreciation prevents your child from feeling neglected. We as parents should realize that children really want and require their parents' attention. Appreciation
is a way of giving your child that attention. If he doesn't get it in
this way, you can be sure that your child will feel neglected and will
find other ways to get your attention - ways that you may definitely not approve of! So make sure you appreciate your child, and be vocal about it.
Reward good behaviour
need not always be verbal. Every once in a while, give your child a
small treat when he does something important, right. For example, if
you went out for dinner and your child behaved himself very well, and
everyone praised him, you could treat him with an ice-cream, after
praising him for his good behaviour.
Praise other children
When in the presence of other children, be sure to appreciate them as well. Simply praising your child and ignoring other children is incredibly rude. It will also make other children
resentful of your child, so if you want your child to have friends, be
good to them! This will also help your child to view the positive
traits in others.
Maintain a star chart
Chithra maintained a star chart for her child, and every
time her child scored well in a test, she would give her a stars. Five
stars would earn her a reward, ten stars would earn her a bigger
reward! This was Chitra'a way of encouraging her child to do well at
school. You can have your own system of giving your child stars. For
example, if you want to encourage your child's singing talent, you
could give your child a star every time he sings a complete song, or
every time his singing teacher praised him. However, if you want your children
to take this star system seriously, make sure you take it seriously as
well. Chitra actually cut out stars from gold paper, and would stick it
religiously on a chart which she pinned up to a bulletin board.
Not only will your child grow up to be more confident,
self assured and well behaved, but he will also be equally appreciative
of others, including you! Expect a lot of praise the next time you
serve them their favourite pulao.
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- The Indiaparenting Team