When it is your money that gives your child his confidence, such confidence will not last forever.Instilling confidence in your child will take him higher in life.
In this material world, there is a lot you can buy to give your child confidence. If your child has more shoes, more clothes, a better car, more servants etc. than his friends, needless to say, he will feel good about himself, and this will help
his self-confidence soar. The only problem is that when it is your money that gives your child his confidence, such confidence will not last forever.
Although most parents love spoiling their children and giving them
everything their hearts desire, this is not the best strategy if you
want to raise great kids. If you get them everything they want, they
will start to believe that they can get things without working hard.
You may have worked very hard to reach where you are, but if your child gets the fruits of your labour without doing anything
to deserve it, he may start to believe that life is easy. He will also
get used to getting whatever he wants, and when he grows up and
realizes that in fact he cannot get his wishes fulfilled at the snap of
a finger, he may not be able to handle it. You don't want your child to
grow up believing that the world owes him a living, because this can
only bring bitterness and dissatisfaction.
If your child grows up with a lot of
self-confidence borne out of your riches, if ever these riches
dissipate, your child will be completely shattered and will lose a
large part of his confidence and identity. So indulge your child a little, but discourage him from getting a large head because of your money.
Although you can shelter your child all you want when he is at home and
living with you, as soon as he starts living on his own, his true
character will emerge. You never know where life may take your child,
and although we Indians still very much want our sons to live with us
our entire lives, this may not always happen.
Discourage showing-off at every step. If you are wealthy,
your child should learn that unless your last name is Gates, Walton,
Ambani or you are a world-renowned richie rich, there are millions of
people wealthier than you are. Also, make sure your child understands
that you have your money because you worked hard for it, and he too needs to work hard if he wants something.
Also, let your child socialize with friends
from all sections of society - very rich and very poor. Your child will
then understand that he may be more privileged than some, but is a lot
less privileged than others.
Don't give your child everything he wants in a blink. You could
indulge your child on his birthday, but other than that try and work
out a reward system, and give him something that he wants only after he
'earns' it. In this manner he we learn that nothing is free.
Allocate an allowance
Give your child a limited allowance, in par with that of his friends. True, you may be able to afford to give him a lot more, but if he is given a lot more than his friends
are, he will develop a swollen head. Let him learn to live within the
means of his allowance. If he wants something, he can learn to save.
Remember, the best gift you can give your child is that
of good parenting and a solid education. Nothing else can compensate,
and nothing else will come close to all the gifts money can buy. It is
better to be a good parent than an extremely generous one, so be
generous with love and attention, and not with gifts.
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- The Indiaparenting Team