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Timid Children and Aggressive Children

Somechildrenareveryshyandtimidwhereassomechildrenareaggressive.Whatarethereasonsforthesetwotypesofdistinctivebehavioursinchildren?Hereinthisarticlewehavediscussedaboutcausesofsuchbehaviourandwhatparentscandoaboutit.Childrenarejustlikeclayinyourhands.Theywillgetmouldedinashapethatyougiveandaspertheeffectofenvironmentinwhichtheyareraised.So,thebehavioursthatareobservedinthemaredevelopingasaresultoftheeffectoftheimmediateenvironmentinwhichtheyaregrowing.Readontolearnmoreabouttimidandaggressivebehaviourinchildren.InthisarticleIsmychildtooshyandtimid?CommonCausesofshyortimidnatureinchildrenHowtohelpshyortimidchildrenMychildisveryaggressiveOtherCausesofaggressivebehaviourinchildrenHowtohelpaggressivechildrenIsmychildtooshyandtimid?Somechildrenarenaturallyshy.Theydonotspeakmuchandkeeptothemselves.Otherchildrenarechatterboxesathome.However,whentheyareintroducedintoanewsituationortonewpeople,theyseemtowithdrawintoashell.Childrenlikethiscannotbethrustintoanewsituation.Youhavetogivethemtimetoadjust.Donottrytoforcethemtojoininimmediately.Encouragethemtosocializewhentheyfeelcomfortable.CommonCausesofshyortimidnatureinchildrenOneofthemostcommoncausesofshynessortimidbehaviourinchildrenislimitedsocialinteraction.Lackofinteractionmaylimitthedevelopmentofsocialskillsinchildren.Suchchildrenareaccustomedtointeractingwithfewpeopleandassuchtheymayfinddifficultininteractingwithunfamiliarpeople.Suchlimitedinteractionmaygiverisetofearinthemwhichmayrestrictthemfromcommunicatingwithunknownpeople.Geneticmake-upofchildrenmayalsoberesponsibleforshyortimidbehaviourinthem.Atthesametimeitispossiblethatchildrenmaylearnsuchbehaviourfromtheirparents,shyparentsmayencouragethedevelopmentofshynessintheirchildrentoo.Thewayinwhichparentsnurturetheirchildrenmayalsoleadtosuchbehaviour.Iftheemotionalbondbetweentheparentsandchildrenisweakorifparentsaretoooverprotective,childrengetaffectedinbothways.Boththesituationcangiverisetoshynessinchildren.Name-calling,teasingandbullyingmayalsoberesponsibleforshynessortimidbehaviourinchildren.HowtohelpshyortimidchildrenLabellingchildrenasshyortimidiswhatparentsneedtoavoiddoinginfirstplace.Providingencouragementtoyourchildinsteadcanworkwonders.Encouragehertomakemorefriends.Allowhertospendtimeplayingwithchildrenofyourneighbourseveryday.Talktoherandencouragehertotalkasmuchasyoucan.Neverpunishherorcriticizeherforherbehaviour.MychildisveryaggressiveInordinateaggressioninachildisusuallytheresultofparentalneglect,absence,toomuchortoolittlediscipline.Aggressivechildrenareusuallybullies,physicallyandverballyattackingchildrenmuchsmallerthanthem.Aggressionmustbenippedinthebud.Corporalpunishmentisnottheanswer.Clearlydemonstrateyourdisapprovalandpraisegoodbehaviour.OtherCausesofaggressivebehaviourinchildrenChildrenwhoarepamperedtoomuchmaytendtobecomeaggressiveandstubbornwhentheirunreasonabledemandsarenotfulfilledbyparents.Suchtypeofbehaviourmayalsoarisewhenparentsfightfrequentlyinfrontofchildrenorexhibitaggressivebehaviourinfrontofthem.Achildmayalsoimbibesuchbehaviourifsheisspendingtimewithaggressivechildren.Suchchildrenincludehercousins,friendsatschoolorintheirneighbourhood.HowtohelpaggressivechildrenParentshavetoplayaveryimportantroleinhelpingchildrendealwithaggressivebehaviour.Theyneedtotalktochildrenthatthekindofbehaviourthattheyareexhibitingisnotacceptablebyanyone.Makethemunderstandcalmlyinsteadofpunishingthemorshoutingatthem.Alwaysbethereforyourchildandreassureherfrequentlyofyourlove,supportandcare.Shapingthebehaviourofchildreniscompletelyinhandsofparents.Ifchildrenaregoinginwrongdirection,parentsmustpullthembackonthetrackbyshowingtheirunconditionalloveandnotthroughpunishmentsandcriticism.

Children are just like clay in your hands. They will get moulded in a shape that you give and as per the effect of environment in which they are raised. So, the behaviours that are observed in them are developing as a result of the effect of the immediate environment in which they are growing. Read on to learn more about timid and aggressive behaviour in children.

Is my child too shy and timid?

Some children are naturally shy. They do not speak much and keep to themselves. Other children are chatterboxes at home. However, when they are introduced into a new situation or to new people, they seem to withdraw into a shell. Children like this cannot be thrust into a new situation. You have to give them time to adjust. Do not try to force them to join in immediately. Encourage them to socialize when they feel comfortable.

Common Causes of shy or timid nature in children

One of the most common causes of shyness or timid behaviour in children is limited social interaction. Lack of interaction may limit the development of social skills in children. Such children are accustomed to interacting with few people and as such they may find difficult in interacting with unfamiliar people. Such limited interaction may give rise to fear in them which may restrict them from communicating with unknown people.

Genetic make-up of children may also be responsible for shy or timid behaviour in them. At the same time it is possible that children may learn such behaviour from their parents, shy parents may encourage the development of shyness in their children too. The way in which parents nurture their children may also lead to such behaviour. If the emotional bond between the parents and children is weak or if parents are too overprotective, children get affected in both ways. Both the situation can give rise to shyness in children. Name-calling, teasing and bullying may also be responsible for shyness or timid behaviour in children.

How to help shy or timid children

Labelling children as shy or timid is what parents need to avoid doing in first place. Providing encouragement to your child instead can work wonders. Encourage her to make more friends. Allow her to spend time playing with children of your neighbours every day. Talk to her and encourage her to talk as much as you can. Never punish her or criticize her for her behaviour.

My child is very aggressive

Inordinate aggression in a child is usually the result of parental neglect, absence, too much or too little discipline. Aggressive children are usually bullies, physically and verbally attacking children much smaller than them. Aggression must be nipped in the bud. Corporal punishment is not the answer. Clearly demonstrate your disapproval and praise good behaviour.

Other Causes of aggressive behaviour in children

Children who are pampered too much may tend to become aggressive and stubborn when their unreasonable demands are not fulfilled by parents. Such type of behaviour may also arise when parents fight frequently in front of children or exhibit aggressive behaviour in front of them. A child may also imbibe such behaviour if she is spending time with aggressive children. Such children include her cousins, friends at school or in their neighbourhood.

How to help aggressive children

Parents have to play a very important role in helping children deal with aggressive behaviour. They need to talk to children that the kind of behaviour that they are exhibiting is not acceptable by anyone. Make them understand calmly instead of punishing them or shouting at them. Always be there for your child and reassure her frequently of your love, support and care.

Shaping the behaviour of children is completely in hands of parents. If children are going in wrong direction, parents must pull them back on the track by showing their unconditional love and not through punishments and criticism.

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148 Comments

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pooja chawda.11 years ago

Hello everyone, it is really good to visit this kind of site. An emotional journey nicely shared by all parents. Which motivates me to seek advice from all of you. My son is 2 years and 3 months, i am working mother n my husband is Child specialist, heet is our first child and we both love him too much even grand parents ( Nanaji & Dadi) are pampering him too much. Since last 3 days i am observing that he is become very stubborn and taking everything negatively only, if i say be a good boy he says no i am bad boy than, he is very reactive to word call "NO" in a way that, he starts crying if i say no even if i want to stop him like don't do it, he becomes reactive. What shall i do?

Rishita.14 years ago

yes its very true. even my son is very moody. we have to keep trying different tricks to please him.

Cyn.14 years ago

i have an almost 5-yr old boy who does not want to mind me at all; this has been a challenge ever since he was born. whenever i discipline him, he seems to think it is ok to hit and scream at me. we are seeking some outside help finally, because all children, when growing up and learning right from wrong, get upset. but our son should have outgrown this by now. please say a prayer for us.

Rashmi.14 years ago

my daughter is two and she is very naughty despite understanding good or bad!but fortunately she comes around and says sorry after i punish her.it's very true that children nowadays do need smaking here and there

leigh.14 years ago

my child is nearly 5 and she is agressive,impatient and screams,kicks and shouts im at the end of my teather what should i do?

hh.14 years ago

my son is also naughty so when hes bad i grab him by the ear bring him to a chair and spank and its very hardit leaves big hand prints him then his father whippes him. if he says bad words he gets all of that with a bar of soap in his mouth then i put him in his room then he has to write a letter to me and who ever he did the naughty thing to and it says why he did it
what he did
and what the consenquence is

sue.14 years ago

i have twin boys that are very naughty but sometimes i spank them, and other times i just laugh because it's so cute watching them grow and become somewhat independent. i let them explore and really just let them have fun. spanking is good sometimes but joining in what they are doing will help you understand why they do the things they do. everything is so new to them, let play with the pots. they grow up really fast, we'll have time to punish them when they understand what they are doing wrong. at 18 months, my boys are just exploring.

henryetta.14 years ago

i think you are all sick, children dont deserve to be beaten

Ashley.14 years ago

child smaking is bad and people should use positive disipline with there voices

Darshana.14 years ago

spanking should not be allow because it teaches children to hit back and effect children's because it teaches child to hit back and it effect child's behaviour.

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