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Money Matters:charity husband
2009-01-18
Name: namita i think i have a very unique problem.i ma 28 years old married for the past 5 years. my husband is businessman and is very emotionally driven . if someone will ask him money he will give it irrespective of whether he wants it for his own expenses or not. he will not pay the house hold or phone or credit card bills on time .when i ask him he says no money. but if someone ask' s him money for their daughter' s marriage or some other charitable purpose he will give it to them . i have been bearing this problem of his since the past five years but now it is unbearable. he is always short of cash even at the time of necessities. i hasd a big fight with him regarding this but to no avail.also i think he has no god business and financial sense leading to wastage and losses
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2009-02-17
#1
Name: manasi
Subject:  selfless husband
I have a very different but much similar problem. My husband will do anything for his family i.e. his parents and siblings. He does not save anything for us and our 4 yrs old daughter, just for some monthly expenses, rest all goes to fulfil his parents unfulfilled dreams and taking care of his unemployed, in their 30s siblings (including married sisters) When I opposed it after some years, he actually threatened (and went ahead with a divorce). Any suggestions, friends and how to handle this?
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2009-02-17
#2
Name: MK
Subject:  hi manasi
i face the similar problem of yours.. but to the good he can understand that he has family and need to fulfill our family demands.. i totally agree with you.. taking care of parents yes its right and in fact our responsibility also but the siblings even after marriage sounds too much.. i have the same problem as yours.. don´ t loose your temper just stay calm and talk with your hubby regarding your daughters future.. tell him patiently and make him understand things.. tell him this is the time to save for the future.. no one can predict what will happen in future.. its impossible for some one to take care of toooo many families.. wen they need help on difficult situation yes we can always help but taking care of the entire family on regular basis is quiet impossible.. im going to handle the situation like this.. im nt going to loose my temper.. as its growing in to a sensitive matter.. which is affecting our life.. lets try our level best.. you try to make him understand the importance of YOU in his life.. so that he does not talk about divorce and all.. all the best
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2009-01-20
#3
Name: Ecstasy
Subject:  Hi
I will share what I think.

First Thing, spending money for good things and helping others will definetly bring back lot of money and happiness to your life....it is true...believe it.
However, it is important to keep the money for your own requirement...it is also the person' s responsibility....I was also similar kind of person some time back but even now but with little planning....here is the thing what i did....try this one.
1) keep some ten covers with the monthly expense required to manage your monthly expenditure and put the money in the month beginning and try to use from the covers which you have planned for the month..
2) Keep one of the cover for charity purpose and put some money like 5% or more what ever possible by you and keep accumulating and tell your hubby to spend what every available in that cover w/o even think of it...yes you should spend money for good reason.

Also, open Recurring deposit for small amout so that it will get deducted from your account so that it will get saved w/o touching it .....

Believe, this is working.....try it out....God be with you
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2009-01-22
#4
Name: namita
Subject:  hi
i am not against charity but not at the cost of your own household.remember charity begins at home. it is a very old saying and there has to be some meaning to it. i always save some money from my household expenses but that it not the problem.i want him to understand his priorities.
there are times when he doesn´ t have 100 rs in his pocket but he will do d charity of 10 grand.when i se this things happening i go into depression.
anyway thanks for your response
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Last 7 Posts of this Board
RE:Miserly In laws & Hubby
Hello dear this is really weird behave of your husband towards you, please do one thing just speak to your husband directly and ask him whether he really loves and want to spend the rest of his life with you or not. Just go and ask him upfront and see the reaction on it.... - Anaida [View Message]
RE:Miserly In laws & Hubby
According to me you should not act like this as this is really sad to see that your husband is treating you so badly infact you should make him understand that this is not the way you are asked to be treated and the same will continue then it will be bad for him.... - Anita [View Message]
RE:Miserly In laws & Hubby
Hi dear if you want you can speak to some women empowerment organization as this is not done and you should not allow such things to affect your life at all, please maintain your dignity as you are self made women and not dependent on your husband for everything.... - Aditi [View Message]
RE:Miserly In laws & Hubby
Hello friend this is not acceptable and why are you not raising your voice against injustice on you. Please speak to your husband on this and make him feel that what he is doing is completely wrong with you and ask him directly what is the reason behind it.... - Aditi [View Message]
RE:Miserly In laws & Hubby
If the husband follows the inlawas means its very clear that he will always listen to them instead to you, in this matter i can clearly say that you are not living the life you deserve and just helping your husband in his living and earning for him.... - Sujata [View Message]
RE:Miserly In laws & Hubby
You are earning a good amount of money monthly and as you have said that your husband is also earning very well then why are you giving your money to him and why are you not questing him about his earnings as its your rights on it, please speak up on this.... - Suman [View Message]
RE:Miserly In laws & Hubby
Hey dear this is really sad what has happened to you but then you can always stop this as this is in your hands ans stop giving the money to your husband and ask him why cant he give you the money when he is earning so good what is the reason behind to it.... - Seema [View Message]

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