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You are here: Home > Message Boards > Love >  Extra-marital Affairs >Suffering every min from extra marital a
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  Extra-marital Affairs: Suffering every min from extra marital affair
Name: arush
Date: 2012-05-02
Hi,
I myself is from a very good family. I am married 8 years back to a very very good human being. It was love marriage i was loving him for more than 5 years. in fact he waiting for me to finish my degree education and later sooner i finished my degree we got married.
Meanwhile sooner i completed my degree i have joined a company where i got a good enviornment. as days goes myself and my boss(even now he is unmarried) got attracted each other and i have fallen in love with him deeply. Even he started loving me deeply, he will fulfill whatever i wish for. Right from day one he never hurted me or behaved in a way which hurts me. But when i went for my first baby delivery during that 2 months gap, he got attracted to one more female who was working in our company, sooner i rejoined for work i came to know and i started objecting for the same. It was not with the intension of selfishness but with the intension that, the girl choosen by him as a life partner was not good for him. In fact even now i myself seeing good girls for him to get married, i want him to actually marry and be happy. But since i started objecting his interaction with that girl, he started showing arrogance and he started treating me very rudely, now from past one and half year he just do not like to talk to me, do not like to mesg me, do not like me to talk on her at all. But at the same time, he has promised me that he is not going to marry her and he is already started searching for a new girl, but the interaction with that girl is still not stopped. ANd the painest part is the girl with whom he is interacting is my subordinate as am the CEO of the company and she is supposed to report to me. But since my boss is so close to her, she directly reports him and even my boss never ask her to listen to me or give respect to me,.even though she is next to me, she never respect me, she never report to me, and she always shows her arrogance behaviour if question abt anything, and my so called loved boss will become angry on me only if i report against her for me to shut my mouth and keep quiet.
now actual problem is, due to this problem i had left job and was in home, but in some or the other way he make sure am back to job and neither he is ready to leave me nor he is ready to leave her and do as per my expectation. But it is sure that he is not going to marry her, since i feel his marriage with somebody else is already fixed.
Now am totally confused in understanding him, he always says that he never cheat me and he will be there with me life time and if required for my satisfaction he will also marry me. But due to that girl matter i have lost my complete trust,love,affection on him and i have started crying daily now for cheating my husband for which i am suffering evey moment. In fact i too love my husband a lot because he is very good kind, soft spoken person. Now am confused how to handle this. Can i trust him and continue in the same job because i need to stay with him? or shall i leave job and go somewhere else forget everything and start a new life with my family?? or should i do something else....I am a very intelligent and very much enthusiastic person by nature, but due to this matter i am becoming more and more narrow minded and mild. Can somebody suggest me what i need to do???Plz help me or else i dont know what will happen to me...
Name: Makesh
Subject:  Hi
Date: 2012-12-23
Hi I disagree with you if she still thinks of that person it is better for her divorce your hubby and marry the guy u like.
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Name: Arush
Subject:  Left Job - Finally
Date: 2012-08-02
Hey All,
Finally i left job and feeling too relaxed. this month 15th is my last working day.
Thanks for everybodies suggestion which helped me to think seriously before i come to one conclusion.
Am sure till my last breath i will never ever get into such things.
I request all, plz never get into any extra marital affair, because the END of extra marital affair is just unbaring suffer and mental torture...Thats all.... for the sake of enjoying happy moments of somedays, u r inviting sorrows for your rest of the life..

So me being fully experiencing such a heavy pain in my heart and feeling ashamed of my self am giving a suggestion/request to all....
PLEASE NEVER EVER GET INTO EXTRA MARITAL AFFAIR.

Thanks all.

Catch you all for some useful discussion.
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Name: rony
Subject:  hi arush
Date: 2012-06-25
dear arush
you are right , you should not leave that person suddenly or in unplanned way. you should make a perfect plan to leave him otherwise he may react in negative direction. steps are 1) show your self sick infront of him and in the office dont smile and laugh in the office 2) do not show some thing extra in your job even show lazyness like a dumbo kind lady, even if he talks with you ask him that you are not feeling well , listening this he will soon start getting bore with you, you can keep some medicines like saridon crocin etc in your bag just to show everybody that you are sick, take leave for 1-2 days in the small interval, during leave give your 100% love to your kids and hubby, and after doing it for some time , you may leave the job showing that you are sick and would not like to continue, stay at your home for 15 days before joing new job, since you will be doing these things gradually, he will forget you easily and you will get rid off from him ronyfandu @ yahoo . co . in
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Name: Arush
Subject:  Thanks Rony
Date: 2012-06-26
Am doing almost same thing now. He has already started understanding. I have also informed him that due to am not able to give my time to my kid i may be required to leave job. He said he will give me sufficient time during working hours to spend time with my kid. I am not impressed by his words,actions anymore. I have decided to brake and my effort is on healthier brake. I did mistake which i should be punished myself and rectify myself. I dont even blame him because it was me who did the mistake.
Anyways, Thanks for the reply.
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Name: r
Subject:  same situation
Date: 2012-06-16
Hi arush, u r right some times things in life happens so unexpected that you do not relize this was wrong how it will hurt others and all.... i was in same kind of situation had a very good bond with one of my collegue and me too mariied from last 8 years.. his wife came to know and made his life hell so i decided to leave it all....we all know this is not right having extra marital and all but that situations sometimes are totally out of control and stupid. when u sit back and think of them u feel oh this could have been easily avoided with little more sanity and control. even i dont know what to do now...how to handle all this even if I have decided to put it back
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Name: Arush
Subject:  Want to come out
Date: 2012-06-17
Yes ..R,,,,
Without our consciousness some time something happens in life which will effect so badly to us later stage in the life.I totally agree that being a respectable woman i should have not done it. But i really dont know how i was blank at those days. Now when i realised it was a bit late that am not able to come out so easily. It is not that he cheated me or he has done something wrong or he does not love me etc...It is me who is decided that at any cost i should not have extra man in my life apart from my husband. Decided is decided. It will be a biggest lesson for me in future to think 100 times before any action. Anyways thanks that atleast you have understood my situation. I want to really and honestly come out of it....suggest me the way.... I am searching for a new job for everybodies information....
thanks
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Name: Meena
Subject:  Cheating woman!!
Date: 2012-06-09
Shame on you Arush!


You dont deserve your husband!!
Itz women like you who give bad name to innocent woman as well!!


You say you are a mother?? Then behave like a mother and a wife for Godsake!!

Do you even have to sink so low to keep controlling the life of a man who is not your husband??


Are you sure you are normal??
Get a new job. Look after your husband and your child!!
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Name: Chaitanya
Subject:  EMA
Date: 2012-06-14
I completely agree with Mrs Meena on this.

Arush, tell me 1 thing when you mentioned you fell in love with your hus and was loving him for more than 5 years, AGAIN how can you fell in love with another guy (your boss) and that too deeply?

Absolute shame when you say it´ s a attraction of having all sex with your hus and you are not in your teens also to fall in infactuation?

Even after delivering a baby, you still feel for your boss? who are more important in your life? your kid, your hus or your boss? For humanity sake, you should give your 100% or more than that love to both your hus n kid and not a 0% affection on your boss.

Your are working only to earn money and nothing more than that. Don´ t you agree? If you feel distracted, immediately resign and just get him out of your life. What the fking need to convince him and make him understand or come out of your EMA slowely?

It´ s a hell. Get rid of it ASAP.
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Name: rony
Subject:  hi
Date: 2012-05-14
better look another job.

love your hubby and kids. dont think so much . rahi bat us ladki ki to kuch din me wo bhi tumhari tarah kisi teesri ko dekhe gi
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Name: Arush
Subject:  Not able to understand
Date: 2012-05-14
Thanks for the Reply Chaitanya And rony. I am consciously avoiding all interaction now. Even i am thinking and planning to change the job. But the moment i say about resignation he becomes wild and acts too harsh. I really dont know what need to be done....I am suffering like anything. If things were easy to just leave job and go, i would have done it long back when i felt am not able to work peacefully. But he says am his asset and he will take care of me lifetime and am not supposed to leave him under any condition. I am failing to understand him totally. Neither he is interested in any S.x nor he is stopping his behaviour. nor he is leaving me completely....
Now am totally blank as what to do????
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Name: Chaitanya
Subject:  Need Suggestion
Date: 2012-05-03
See Arush, I understand english and that' s the reason I have mentioned in my origianl suggestion from a female point of view that \" you cheated your husband and still after having baby\" . You are so much matured and must have seen ups and downs in life and still you don' t know how to come out of it? It really sounds strange, solution is very simple - if you just think about your kid whenever you remember that guy, then automatically all feelings will stop on him. Let him go to hell, you don' t have to worry about him, you, your husband, your kid this is your world. Don' t you accept?
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Name: Arush
Subject:  Change Happening!!
Date: 2012-06-13
I do understand Ms/Mrs Meena that being married and having child i should not feel for somebody else. Am not so immature to think on these lines. If i have written my concerns on public site it does mean that i am trying to come out of it. But things which happens some thing in life unexpectedly or knowingly is very difficult to be overcome. Without my conscious mind i was loving him, so that selfishness on him gradually increased. But when i actually now came to know what false thing i am doing, i was a bit late and attachment on him was on the peak. But swear am trying my level best now to come out of it very smoothly so that in future no day he keeps revenge or he does any harm to me or blackmail to me in anyway. Leaving job and going away is the easiest part, but slowly am making him understand that we can not stay life time and i am getting deattached from him slowly.
Thanks for you people replies. I know my mistakes, i am trying hard to come out from it in a smooth way so that neither my life nor his life is under trouble.
If any suggestions plz let me know.
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Name: Chaitanya
Subject:  Check yourself 1st
Date: 2012-05-02
1st of all I don' t know whether you are male or female, your message indicates you are female but your name Arush says you are a male. Let' s forget about your boss 1st, you are saying about yourself that you belong to a good family and married to a very good human being and that too is a love marriage. After all this, still you have deep love left for your boss? I' m sure you must had a physical affair also with him. And after that your boss had started loving another girl. Do you really think Men love married woman? It' s just Lust and they want physcial satisfaction, for that they do anything and every thing to impress them. You made a big hole for yourself now. Your career is spoiled, I' m not sure you are a CEO of a company. If you are such a level, your maturity levels must be very very high. I could not entirely believe whatever is written over here. But, certainly you cheated your husband and still after having baby, you felt for your boss which is shame on you. Please check for yourself 1st then you can think about your boss falling for another girl.
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Name: Chaitanya
Subject:  Need Suggestion
Date: 2012-05-03
See Arush, I understand english and that´ s the reason I have mentioned in my origianl suggestion from a female point of view that " you cheated your husband and still after having baby" . You are so much matured and must have seen ups and downs in life and still you don´ t know how to come out of it? It really sounds strange, solution is very simple - if you just think about your kid whenever you remember that guy, then automatically all feelings will stop on him. Let him go to hell, you don´ t have to worry about him, you, your husband, your kid this is your world. Don´ t you accept?
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Name: Arush
Subject:  Need Suggestion
Date: 2012-05-02
Hi,
I just want to tell u that atleast in such matter nobody tells any lies .I have grown in the company from L1 position and i am there in the same company for about 6-7 years now. And when i said my husband, it does mean that am a female. And i really cant say what made me love him,just i loved him even after marriage, even i know it is not correct and am eligible to be abused. And regarding physical affair, i really didnt have much than having smooth physical affair, because he is a busy person and we never used to get any time alone to spend time you believe it or not its the truth. Since am matured only every moment i am just diverting my concentration on my work and trying to neglect his matter, but over and again is matter is coming to my mind and irritating me a lot. Am definitely not defending myself, but i just want to come out from it and want to live a peaceful life. Suggest now.
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